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Thinkaboutit · Jan 18, 2016, 04:45 AM

I've been going to counselling for a while now, I really didn't think much of it at first as it wasn't really me choice but after a while I decided to give it a try and find that it helps. I feel comfortable with me counsellor but there are things I don't want to talk about I don't even want to think about I try as hard as I can every day to push them to the back of me mind, but me counsellor keeps pushing for me to tell her she say that if I talk about it it will help. To be honest I don't really understand how talking about it will help it just makes me feel horrible thinking about it. Anyway me question is does it help to talk about things you have tried to forget? I mean you can't change anything that's happened so how does bringing it up help?

talaniman · Jan 18, 2016, 05:27 AM

Talking about things, especially things you rather forget, helps put things in perspective so you can deal with them and the feelings they have caused. Think of it as part of a healing by getting the poison out of you in a safe way, rather than bury it inside of you and having it grow, and come out in harmful negative ways.

Being able to vent one's anger, frustration, and fears, guilt, and shame in a safe/secure environment is the foundation of practicing building good COPING skills that will work for you for the rest of your life no matter what you go through in the future.

Counseling/counsellors are an excellent substitute for those that have no TRUSTED close friends, or families that are good listeners while you practice being honest with yourself, and learning to dealing with yourself in positive ways to get you through the negative times we all go through in life.

As you get more comfortable with this counsellor, you will be more CONFIDENT in yourself, and be able to learn more things about yourself so you can make better decisions about your own actions and the way you cope with your life. That you are getting comfortable is a good sign, and I hope you stick with it and keep an open mind. It does get better later as more is revealed to you about yourself, as you learn to TALK to others about yourself.

We all need and should have someone to TALK to who doesn't judge us, so we can work through things that trouble us and find positive ways to help ourselves be happy.

I wish you much luck.

DoulaLC · Jan 18, 2016, 05:55 AM

Think of all the helpful advice, encouragement, and support you've received here from "talking" about various situations you've experienced.

New ways of looking at a situation, or things to consider to help you in dealing with some tough decisions.

You can also learn how to better deal with painful or frustrating situations that may come up in the future or how to avoid some altogether.

Thinkaboutit · Jan 18, 2016, 12:53 PM

I understand being able to talk to someone is very helpful, has helped me a lot to understand things, see things and deal with things in a more grown up way. I just don't understand how talking about something that is in the past will help its done it won't change anything and talking about it just seems to me like a bad idea. Me da says it will help me let go and move on but I'm not stuck on what happened I don't think about it. I feel horrible just being asked to talk about it because now it keeps on popping up in me thought and I have to push it away if I talk about it to me it will just be like seeing it all over again. I guess I just want to know if any one has ever been through something horrible if talking about it really does help? I don't know if I can handle talking

Wondergirl · Jan 18, 2016, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

now it keeps on popping up in me thought and I have to push it away if I talk about it to me it will just be like seeing it all over again.

That means it's time to talk about it with the counselor. I'm one of those counselor creatures and have often been told in some way or other by my clients, "I am SO glad I finally told you about this! I didn't think talking about it would help. After all, it happened years ago, but it was still stuck in the dark part of my memories. Now I am finally free!"

DoulaLC · Jan 18, 2016, 01:35 PM

That you feel the need to keep pushing it back down lets you know that it still has a hold on you... it still lingers in the background to continue to cause you pain.

Talking about it may help you be able to let it go. You can also gain tools to help you with difficult situations you may experience in your future... and be in a position to even help others who may share a similar experience that they too are trying to forget.

Thinkaboutit · Jan 18, 2016, 01:52 PM

I guess I'm just really scared to talk about it. I go to me counsellor for an hour twice a week if I talk about it then I have to let myself think about what happened and once I do I don't know if I can just stop at the end of me hour it's all going to come back. I made some bad choice trying to forget about it and I don't want to go back there I'm just scared. I don't feel like what happened effects me now but to bring it all back up will. I'm just trying to see how it will help. Trying to have the courage to even do it

Wondergirl · Jan 18, 2016, 01:57 PM

Actually, once you talk about it, it loses its power over you. Yes, you'll have to think about it when you tell the counselor about it, but doing that will make you feel like a great weight just came off your heart! Trust us!

One of my clients, instead of talking, wrote it all down. Then she let me read it. At the end of the session, we shredded the paper.

Thinkaboutit · Jan 18, 2016, 02:42 PM

I just don't want to feel everything that come when I think about it. They already know what happened its not a secret. I don't feel like it has any power over me but I don't know it's just hard to let me self think about it I've been trying so hard not to. I haven't thought about it in a long time and even just asked to talk about it makes it hard not to think about it. God I sound like a mental it's just hard to explain what happened will never change ill never fell any different about it. Trust that's a big thing I've never spoke to anyone about it and no one has ever asked until now and now I do feel like its trying to take over me brain again. Thanks for answer me question you all have said it will help so I guess I'll just have to try and convince me self

talaniman · Jan 18, 2016, 04:37 PM

You don't have to talk about EVERYTHING all at once. A little at a time, or with what you are comfortable with is okay. Takes time so no need to rush ahead of yourself.

Wondergirl · Jan 18, 2016, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You don't have to talk about EVERYTHING all at once. A little at a time, or with what you are comfortable with is okay. Takes time so no need to rush ahead of yourself.

Yes! All she has to do is nibble off one piece at a time.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 19, 2016, 12:28 AM

We never forget things, the more we think about trying to forget them, the more we remember. I have things from the war that gives horror a new name, and as time goes by, in 20 or 30 years it may not be as big of issue for you, but not short term.

Yes talking about things, esp to a counselor, can help you releasie that what you may consider so bad, in the aspect of life, is not really that important any more. We move past things, they mold us, and are never forgotten, we just learn how to deal with the pain and the issues.

Thinkaboutit · Jan 19, 2016, 06:19 AM

Thanks for the advice will try and see how I go. I feel mentally drained at the moment just thinking about everything I haven't even talked about it yet. I'm kind of stressed out I don't go to counselling until Thursday and I can't stop thinking about what happened now its constantly there I don't even realise I'm thinking about until I catch me self doing it and make me self stop. I'm scared I don't know what to do if it gets too much.