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    louise22's Avatar
    louise22 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 22, 2015, 04:06 PM
    My parents won't let me go to boarding school
    My parents are divorced and I am starting to get really depressed. One of the hardest thing is having two houses and not having all of my school supplies and materials I need with me at home. Because of this I really want to go to boarding school. Its not like I would switch schools, my current school is half boarding school. I want to know what I should do, but I feel like this is something I need to do but I need my parents approval.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Oct 22, 2015, 04:17 PM
    How are you going to afford this?

    You need to learn to adjust. Have one set of school supplies at mom's house and one set at dad's. It's much cheaper than boarding school.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #3

    Oct 22, 2015, 07:27 PM
    Like J9 said, you can get two sets of supplies. If you need something, like a book, make sure it's in your backpack. You're old enough to be responsible for making sure you have what you need on hand.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Oct 22, 2015, 07:34 PM
    You adjust. Many kids do. Two sets of things and you'll get by. Boarding school is expensive
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Oct 23, 2015, 12:33 AM
    You keep two set of supplies, or always use a large backpack and always carry them. You stop complaining, get used to it and go on
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Oct 23, 2015, 03:24 AM
    Most kids I know adjust to divorcing parents by planning trips a lot better between them a lot better even if you need TWO back packs. That's easier than trying to convince them to give in to your wishes, by changing their minds.

    Accepting the way it is may help your depression too, which may have little to do with not getting your way on this issue.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Oct 23, 2015, 03:26 AM
    As was mentioned, keep two sets of supplies and adjust. Plus most parents can't afford to even think of boarding school. Its incredibly expensive.
    guycomander's Avatar
    guycomander Posts: 17, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Oct 23, 2015, 06:57 AM
    Pretend like you absolutely don't want boarding school, than your parents will put you there. The old reverse psychology. If that's not the best way than use some other psychology technique like Pavlov. Basically show that if they put you there they will get something out of it, like a smarter more well behaved child. The trick is to get them to put you there not because you simply want them to. But because they believe they want you to go because its good for them. Maybe even start to misbehave a little than offer the solution to the problem, boarding school to fix your behavior. Psychology is definitely the key, putting you there has to be perceived as a good idea for them, maybe you can even figure out a way to do it so it feels like they suggested it as their good Idea. Hope that helps.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Oct 23, 2015, 07:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by guycomander View Post
    Pretend like you absolutely don't want boarding school, than your parents will put you there. The old reverse psychology. If that's not the best way than use some other psychology technique like Pavlov. Basically show that if they put you there they will get something out of it, like a smarter more well behaved child. The trick is to get them to put you there not because you simply want them to. But because they believe they want you to go because its good for them. Maybe even start to misbehave a little than offer the solution to the problem, boarding school to fix your behavior. Psychology is definitely the key, putting you there has to be perceived as a good idea for them, maybe you can even figure out a way to do it so it feels like they suggested it as their good Idea. Hope that helps.
    I don't think trying to outsmart, manipulate, or trick your parents is very healthy advice. It's more likely to backfire and make things worse and harm the relationship with the parents. Why add to the stress by misbehaving.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #10

    Oct 23, 2015, 11:34 AM
    Is this really about school supplies? Or are you feeling like a tennis ball at Wimbledon as you go back and forth from one house to another? If that is the case, boarding school could make it worse since you would then be bouncing between three places.

    How old are you and how long have your parents been divorced? Do they know you are having issues with the current arrangements or do they think you are just being an unreasonable teenager? Has anyone mentioned family counseling to help you and any siblings you might have or have gained adapt to the changes?

    I know from experience it isn't easy bouncing between parents. The parents are building new full-time lives and for you it is attempting to keep two half lives from falling apart. Unfortunately, boarding school won't fix the problem. You would still have to deal with your parents' separate homes and you probably would feel like more of an outsider.

    I am going to suggest that you create a checklist of items you have to carry back and forth between houses. When you leave to go from one place to the other, check off the items as you pack them and then when you put the bag/backpack in the car. The list can also help your parents know what you need should something be forgotten or something happens and you don't get to pack.

    I am also going to suggest you talk to a school counselor if one is available in your school. You need a neutral person to share your frustrations and fears with who can help or guide you help in working them out.
    guycomander's Avatar
    guycomander Posts: 17, Reputation: 3
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    #11

    Oct 23, 2015, 04:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I don't think trying to outsmart, manipulate, or trick your parents is very healthy advice. It's more likely to backfire and make things worse and harm the relationship with the parents. Why add to the stress by misbehaving.
    My suggestion is to be realistic. I want to help them reach their goal. If you want something in this world you have to have a strategy on how to get it. My reply is only a means for this person to get what they want. Sometimes the ends justify the means.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Oct 24, 2015, 04:14 AM
    Not when it crosses the lines of good behavior set by the parents.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #13

    Oct 24, 2015, 07:26 AM
    Telling a young person how to manipulate their parents to get what they want is irresponsible.
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
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    #14

    Oct 24, 2015, 01:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by guycomander View Post
    Pretend like you absolutely don't want boarding school, than your parents will put you there. The old reverse psychology. If that's not the best way than use some other psychology technique like Pavlov. Basically show that if they put you there they will get something out of it, like a smarter more well behaved child. The trick is to get them to put you there not because you simply want them to. But because they believe they want you to go because its good for them. Maybe even start to misbehave a little than offer the solution to the problem, boarding school to fix your behavior. Psychology is definitely the key, putting you there has to be perceived as a good idea for them, maybe you can even figure out a way to do it so it feels like they suggested it as their good Idea. Hope that helps.
    Bad advice all around. Misbehaving, reverse psychology, outsmarting parents is ridiculous! How much psychology have you studied to give advice like this?
    sahitya's Avatar
    sahitya Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Oct 26, 2015, 01:49 AM
    Talk to your parents regarding this, if your mom or dad or together are willing to bear your expenses,that will be fine.otherwise it is very difficult to afford by yourself. All the best!

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