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Full Member
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Sep 4, 2015, 05:45 AM
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Boyfriend
I don't really have a lot of friends were I live, I have me boyfriend and he's is me best friend we do everything together. I have a problem with drugs I had been clean for a while but slipped up recently while at a party with me boyfriend. Me boyfriend smokes a bit of pot and takes pills some times and it never really worried me before it wasn't a problem. I told him I don't want to do no more drugs I don't want to go back there, he said that's cool he won't keep on offering. I feel a bit torn don't know what to do I love me boyfriend I don't have the best relationship with me family so he's all I have I can talk to him about everything he's,always there for me, but I'm not sure,I can keep being around him and keep saying no. Do you think I could ask him to stop smoking and doing drugs while I'm around or would that be to controlling? I don't want him to get annoyed with me and break up with me.
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Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 06:32 AM
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You can ask him to stop, but most likely he won't. It's never a good idea for someone in recovery to be in a relationship with an active user. It promotes temptation, and as you have found out, will cause you to backslide and start using again.
He is not a good influence for you.
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Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 06:47 AM
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You seem to have transferred your drug addiction to an addiction for your boyfriend and need to recognize that. One is no better than the other one and neither is doing you any good. You will never learn about your drug issues unless you spend time around those that share that issue with you and make friends with them.
You need friends who understand your issues and can help you deal with them.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 06:59 AM
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This guy is not good for you. Too much temptation there. You need to be a part of a group of people who have the same issues. These are the ones you should be talking too, not your boyfriend who may have issues of his own.
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Full Member
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Sep 4, 2015, 08:01 AM
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I don't think I'm addicted to me boyfriend I love him and he's been there for me when I've had issues with me da, I've had some one to talk to instead of getting into a fight with me da or step mum. He's just made things easier and it's me own fault for taken the ecstasy not he's I can't blame it on him. I just think it would be easier if he does he's thing when I'm not around but I don't want to be bossy or controlling by asking him, I don't want him to break up with me. I hear what your saying about being around people who have the same issues and understand, I was doing this group thing it's where I met me boyfriend but I stopped it was stupid. I know that it's hard being around him when he's doing drugs and I've already slipped up once but I'm scared he'll get really mad if I ask him to stop while I'm around. I don't want to have no one.
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Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 08:57 AM
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He stopped working the program of staying clean/sober, and you are more afraid of losing him than staying clean and sober? Strange priorities that will bite you... AGAIN. People... Places... and Things that tempt you to use should be avoided. Where you met your boyfriend was not stupid, that you left with him, and never go back could be stupid though.
Like you say though it is your choice... a decision only YOU can make. Choose wisely based on FACTS and not just FEELINGS or FEARS.
You will never change him, just yourself. I would think you should be more afraid of him staying, than him leaving because you don't want to be around his DOPE.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 09:48 AM
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Your not having no one is better for you right now than having a boyfriend who uses. If he cares about you and knows you are trying to stay away from drugs he will respect that and leave you alone. He is obviously not ready to give them up himself. You need to look after you.
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Full Member
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Sep 4, 2015, 01:50 PM
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I know your right leaving him is probably the best thing to do so I'm not around drugs anymore. I guess I'm just scared to be alone have no one to talk to it sounds stupid but having him there for me helped me from doing drugs. I could talk to him and see things for what they were instead of keeping it all in and losing it. I do really love him he knows more about me than me own family does and me the same with him. It feels selfish to turn around and breakup with him after everything he's done for me when he hasn't done anything wrong. Sorry I'm just so confused
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Expert
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Sep 4, 2015, 07:32 PM
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The chances of you actually stopping drugs, and being around drug users is almost NONE> To stop using drugs, you have to clean up your life, and that includes people around you that uses drugs.
Time to make a new break and new life.
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