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    johanh12345's Avatar
    johanh12345 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 27, 2015, 10:18 AM
    In love with a Younger girl.
    Me and my bro (best friend) are really close I'm at his house pretty much every day and he got a sister that's 14 years old and me myself is 17. Although me and her started talking a lot 7 months ago I came out and told the truth I told my best friend that I was in love with his sister and he wasint against it but wasint that happy about it either. So I was like OK sure I can tell his sister and I told her and she blocked me on Facebook and snapchat. Now 3 days ago me and my best friend went to walk his dog and his sister wanted to join us and we weren't 100% sure so we said like yeah.. OK sure and then when we were done walking the dog I went home and she wrote to me on Facebook and told me to meet her in a play ground in 30 minutes. And I said sure so I met her there we sat on the swings and talked for awhile but then she popped a question and she was a bit insecure about it and said "am i the youngest girl you have ever dated?... well not really dated but been with but not really been with but dated... " and I said well yeah. And she said OK and didn't seem to mind and then we were out all night litrely all night we talked walked around watched the sun rise together it was really romantic. So I asked if she wanted to do it again sometime and she said yeah sure just not all night cause she nearly fell asleep in class and I fell asleep in class. Can you guys please tell me. Is it wrong to be in love with a 14 year old girl when I'm 17 years old and does that mean she likes me as well if I invited her out again and she said yes?
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #2

    Aug 27, 2015, 10:31 AM
    If you are smart, you will walk away from that situation. There could be big trouble down the road with it. I will let others tell you why.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Aug 27, 2015, 10:59 AM
    Its wrong... she's too young, and something that should put the fear of God in you... are these two words... Statutory Rape (something that will get you prison time and a lifetime as a registered sex offender)... if things follow a normal path.

    YOu really share nothing in common.. except hormones... and in a few years.. its highly unlikely she will like anything or anyone she likes now... when she grows out of being a child (which she still is) into an adult.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #4

    Aug 27, 2015, 12:30 PM
    Her Brother, your Bro, must be about as smart as a rock if he thinks it is okay for you to date his sister. Staying out all night and planning to do it again, dude you are asking for trouble and the kind that Smoothy so aptly pointed out. Play with Fire and You will get Burnt sooner or later. Move on.
    johanh12345's Avatar
    johanh12345 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 27, 2015, 02:15 PM
    I know I came here seekin answers but its 3 years apart and my best friend knows he can trust me I would never rape that girl I love her like seriously I live in the Faroe Islands its legal to date her when I'm under 18 and if we get together before I'm 18 its still legal
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #6

    Aug 27, 2015, 02:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by johanh12345 View Post
    I know I came here seekin answers but its 3 years apart and my best friend knows he can trust me I would never rape that girl I love her like seriously I live in the Faroe Islands its legal to date her when I'm under 18 and if we get together before I'm 18 its still legal
    Thanks for that very important information. I guess you know the laws of your country better than us Americans.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Aug 27, 2015, 03:00 PM
    You are in lust with a child... that's hormones speaking. Love takes years to grow AFTER you start dating... it doesn't suddenly appear one day or even over weeks or months.. but years. And there is less of a difference between someone 20 and 40 than between 14 and 17. Legal or not in the Faroe Islands I don't know... but I see a lot of problems with it.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #8

    Aug 27, 2015, 03:10 PM
    I find it wrong on a lot of levels. Would this girl's parents have a problem with your keeping their 14 year old daughter out all night? Why would you have this girl disrespect her parents like that?
    I don't know what a 17 year old boy would see in a 14 year old girl anyway unless he is into young girls. There is no way you'd date my daughter and my brother would have put you in your place if it were me.
    Are there no girls your age?
    johanh12345's Avatar
    johanh12345 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 27, 2015, 06:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    I find it wrong on a lot of levels. Would this girl's parents have a problem with your keeping their 14 year old daughter out all night? Why would you have this girl disrespect her parents like that?
    I don't know what a 17 year old boy would see in a 14 year old girl anyway unless he is into young girls. There is no way you'd date my daughter and my brother would have put you in your place if it were me.
    Are there no girls your age?
    Then you have never heard of falling in love with someone's personality.. plus we have been talking for over 6 months not just 2-3 days...
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
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    #10

    Aug 27, 2015, 06:35 PM
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 I find it wrong on a lot of levels. Would this girl's parents have a problem with your keeping their 14 year old daughter out all night? Why would you have this girl disrespect her parents like that?
    I don't know what a 17 year old boy would see in a 14 year old girl anyway unless he is into young girls. There is no way you'd date my daughter and my brother would have put you in your place if it were me.
    Are there no girls your age?

    Quote Originally Posted by johanh12345 View Post
    Then you have never heard of falling in love with someone's personality.. plus we have been talking for over 6 months not just 2-3 days...
    You asked for our opinion and we gave it to you. The fact that you want to justify your thinking in the matter makes our findings null and void to you. I am sure you will continue to do what you want to do, Even though it is wrong, bottom line.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #11

    Aug 27, 2015, 06:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by johanh12345 View Post
    Then you have never heard of falling in love with someone's personality.. plus we have been talking for over 6 months not just 2-3 days...
    6 hours, 6 days, 6 months... its NOT nearly enough time by a longshot... you are 17, you don't have enough experience yet to know the difference between love and lust yet... no 17 year old does... there are a few much older people that never do learn... they tend to be married and divorced 3 or more times as a result.

    We've ALL been 17, and we are all old enough to have the life experience to back up what we say. Its not being mean... its being direct and being honest.

    And if I had a 14 year old sister... I wouldn't be giving ANY 17 year old friend the go ahead to have at my sister... because I'm a guy and I know what 17 year old guys think... and how their minds work at that age. If I had a 14 year old daughter some 17 year old was chasing after....he'd better be in fear of his life for those same very reasons.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #12

    Aug 27, 2015, 07:29 PM
    Falling in love with her personality, Please! She is a child, 14.
    Are there no girls your age around?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Aug 27, 2015, 10:01 PM
    I don't think this is a good idea at all, and I am sure her parents wouldn't either. Think about it as I am sure you have your own doubts too, don't you?
    johanh12345's Avatar
    johanh12345 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Aug 28, 2015, 03:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    I don't think this is a good idea at all, and I am sure her parents wouldn't either. Think about it as I am sure you have your own doubts too, don't you?
    Yeah I do have my own doubts.. but I don't care what the other say I do know what love is and I do know that I love her I didn't come on here to seek people to critize me I came on here to see what others should think I do so maybe the others could learn to give a hoonest and nice answer instead of an hoonest but mean one or at least try and make their explenation a bit nicer
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #15

    Aug 28, 2015, 04:17 AM
    Look dude, you came here for advice. Adults gave it to you. You aren't happy because it wasn't what you wanted to hear. So, rather than asking strangers, who are adults, who have children and grandchildren, your age, why don't you ask her father?

    Ask her father if it's okay for you to date her. Don't forget to tell him you kept her out all night on a school night without his permission. Hopefully firearms are illegal where you live or you might find yourself staring down the barrel of a gun by the time you are done pleading your case.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #16

    Aug 28, 2015, 04:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by johanh12345 View Post
    Yeah I do have my own doubts.. but I don't care what the other say I do know what love is and I do know that I love her I didn't come on here to seek people to critize me I came on here to see what others should think I do so maybe the others could learn to give a hoonest and nice answer instead of an hoonest but mean one or at least try and make their explenation a bit nicer
    Nobody here gave you anything but an honest direct answer.

    You are 17, it's time to grow up... if you think we were being mean and critical... you are in for a rude awakening when you have to support yourself and live like an adult in the very near future.

    You are 17, not 7. We talked to you like the adult you will be soon.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #17

    Aug 28, 2015, 05:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by johanh12345 View Post
    Yeah I do have my own doubts.. but I don't care what the other say I do know what love is and I do know that I love her I didn't come on here to seek people to critize me I came on here to see what others should think I do so maybe the others could learn to give a hoonest and nice answer instead of an hoonest but mean one or at least try and make their explenation a bit nicer
    Lets start with not keeping a 14 year old out all night, and being respectful enough NOT to get her, or her brother in trouble with her parents, AND teachers, and RECOGNIZE she is 14, and may not be mature enough to have the same ideas about LOVE as you do and finally true love is doing the right thing by people even though you have intense feelings and want to express them.

    I mean if you a 17 year old cannot control your own feelings, and do the right thing, do you expect a 14 year old to be able to? That's why you have doubts, because this LOVE is unequal and could hurt you both in the long run because of how you are going about it.

    Make sense? For all your love she is still 14.

    PS As a dad, I would rip all 3 of you a new one (YOU, YOUR BUDDY, AND HER) for what has already taken place! Poor judgement all around.

    PSS, That's as honest as I can get without cussing if a 17 year old was sniffing around MY 14 year old daughter. My wife would have a bat upside you and your buddies head.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #18

    Aug 28, 2015, 07:07 AM
    I've refrained from commenting, something not easy for me to do.

    But I agree with Tal 100%, including the ripping.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #19

    Aug 28, 2015, 10:29 AM
    First The Faroe Islands are part of Denmark. I can't find specific for Faroe, but for Denmark the age of consent is 15 with no difference in age stipulation.

    Second, I'm sure you feel you are in love with her. But at 17, your experience with love is minimal.

    Third, you said her brother is OK with it but what about her parents? They are the ones that matter.

    Finally, that there is a big difference between the maturity of a 14 yr old and 17 yr old. While 3 years is not a big gap when you both are adults, it is when one or both are minors.

    So you first need to make sure her parents are OK with her dating you. Only if they are should you think of proceeding. Second, no more late nights. And third, NO sexualy activity at all! None, zilch, zip. Anything beyond holding hands and a quick kiss can get you in jail.
    johanh12345's Avatar
    johanh12345 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Aug 28, 2015, 01:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Lets start with not keeping a 14 year old out all night, and being respectful enough NOT to get her, or her brother in trouble with her parents, AND teachers, and RECOGNIZE she is 14, and may not be mature enough to have the same ideas about LOVE as you do and finally true love is doing the right thing by people even though you have intense feelings and want to express them.

    I mean if you a 17 year old cannot control your own feelings, and do the right thing, do you expect a 14 year old to be able to? That's why you have doubts, because this LOVE is unequal and could hurt you both in the long run because of how you are going about it.

    Make sense? For all your love she is still 14.

    PS As a dad, I would rip all 3 of you a new one (YOU, YOUR BUDDY, AND HER) for what has already taken place! Poor judgement all around.

    PSS, That's as honest as I can get without cussing if a 17 year old was sniffing around MY 14 year old daughter. My wife would have a bat upside you and your buddies head.
    I get your point but note that she is the one that told me to come out I didn't ask her she asked me.

    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    First The Faroe Islands are part of Denmark. I can't find specific for Faroe, but for Denmark the age of consent is 15 with no difference in age stipulation.

    Second, I'm sure you feel you are in love with her. But at 17, your experience with love is minimal.

    Third, you said her brother is OK with it but what about her parents? They are the ones that matter.

    Finally, that there is a big difference between the maturity of a 14 yr old and 17 yr old. While 3 years is not a big gap when you both are adults, it is when one or both are minors.

    So you first need to make sure her parents are OK with her dating you. Only if they are should you think of proceeding. Second, no more late nights. And third, NO sexualy activity at all! None, zilch, zip. Anything beyond holding hands and a quick kiss can get you in jail.
    I know that and thanks for your reply I am aware of any sexual activity when she is under 15 is illegal here I even told myself to just keep it at holding hands and kissing until she is 15 but yes I am going to ask her if we can talk to her parrents or if she wants me to talk to them I've been in their lives since I was 6 years old and I'm sure that her parrents would be happy to listen to what I have to say and if they don't like it they will correct me or tell me to stop dating their daughter which I will of course do if they tell me to.

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