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lonely2010 · Jul 17, 2015, 07:53 PM

Hello everyone, Can someone tell me what's the best online dating app there? And how to play it safe and what shall I care when dating online in order to avoid some liers? I been in a relationship with a guy for years ,unfortunately we broke this year in April.I was so disappointed and upset.and now around me its hardly to find someone. So I want to go back again to try ,but I am worried about this. I don't know if I can do this successfully or not (its my first time to try this seriously). But I am in hurry. Please help. :)

smoothy · Jul 18, 2015, 01:36 AM

"In a hurry" Sounds a lot more like desperate... like food... you can have fast... or you can have good. You don't get both.

If you want posers, Liars, Married or attached people... then online dating is for you, a large percentage fit that description..

Being someones rebound squeeze sucks. And looking for a rebound squeeze isn't fair to that person.

Hurry means you will "settle" for less than you CAN have.

Best to take your time....when it happens, it happens.

lonely2010 · Jul 18, 2015, 02:23 AM

So you mean there is no hope at all... I shouldn't go there to get what I want

smoothy · Jul 18, 2015, 02:25 AM

I believe if you do... you will find more heartache than meeting someone local in person. I've heard lots of horror stories... and not many good ones.

A significant amount of people on those are married....or otherwise seriously misrepresent themselves. Or worse....are criminals or sex offenders

lonely2010 · Jul 18, 2015, 03:03 AM

Terrible I am feeling terrible and hopeless.

smoothy · Jul 18, 2015, 03:08 AM

Get happy with yourself... desperation sends people running. Unless they are looking for easy sex and a one nigh stand... then desperate people are an easy mark.

If you can't be happy with yourself... you can't be happy with another. The most attractive potential partner is one that's comfortable with themselves and exudes confidence. People naturally gravitate to people like that.

In person anyway. Online it's easy to cheat and lie.

Also a lot of scams involve online dating of some sort because of the anonymity..

joypulv · Jul 18, 2015, 04:23 AM

We went through all this with you a year ago. Actually for the last 5 years. You are too desperate, and that drives people away! People are attracted to people who are secure in themselves, who have interests, and who aren't needy.
Learning to live with yourself isn't easy for many people, and you say you had a 'mental disease.' Can you tell us more about that? Maybe change the term to 'emotional crisis' or something.
Can you describe your good attributes, and what interests you in life, as well as the ones that aren't so good?
You are in your 30s.. what do you do all day?

lonely2010 · Jul 18, 2015, 11:24 PM

Yea I had that a 'mental disease' , it took me years to recover. The process for me is very hard.I went through a lot. So that's why you said for the last 5 years. Yes actually for me its 4 years. For the 4 years, I did nothing except work. I mean I didn't be with friends, just stayed alone, with the family. That was terrible experience.I wasted 4 years. Just have to recover. But now all past, I am starting over again. Life treats me bad huh, but I have to restart.

talaniman · Jul 19, 2015, 04:43 AM

May I suggest you put off this online romance seeking for a far more needed endeavor? I think it's important at this stage of your life that you build a social life for yourself that you enjoy, with friends and activities that makes you happy. It will give you the opportunity to not only dust off, develop, and practice some neglected social interacting skills, but bring you much satisfaction and happiness from expanding your own social world.

Making friends, male and females, and having shared interests and experiences is a valuable learning opportunity to build on rather than jumping blindly into scary unknown situations that require a cool, calm, and collected patience and REALISTIC expectations.

Trust me guy, you will need much inner strength to deal with the frustrations, and disappointments, and failures, and rejections that are a normal part of the online dating world. Not to mention your already high level of fear. Plus it's time to end your self imposed isolation my friend, as an important part of your recovery.

I think the most important part of love and happiness starts with love and happiness of YOURSELF, no matter what trials and tribulations you have already been through. You cannot find love and happiness with another unless you have it within yourself already, and that's what will attract people who want to share it with you.

Misshome · Jul 22, 2015, 05:39 AM

@lonely... May I suggest? I heard that Chinese women are very Passionate.
Even though you meet them on Yahoo q/a.. They can be real lover. If you have no
Problem in mixed race you should try dating Chinese or Afghan women.
They are HOTTEST in Bed. I have real life Testimony from men, out of their race.

smoothy · Jul 22, 2015, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by Misshome

@lonely... May I suggest? I heard that Chinese women are very Passionate.
Even though you meet them on Yahoo q/a.. They can be real lover. If you have no
Problem in mixed race you should try dating Chinese or Afghan women.
They are HOTTEST in Bed. I have real life Testimony from men, out of their race.

You chat up random people on the internet hoping for a relationship. Where do you dream this stuff up? Seriously?