[misskrissie]

I currently live in Virginia but at the time of conception I was living out-of-state and the conception was a result of rape. I was only 17 at the time so I was too scared to go to the authorities (meaning no documentation), and it was three months later (then I was 18) that I found out I was pregnant. I had a pretty good idea of who the rapist might have been when I started getting threats via social media from a guy inquiring about the pregnancy, and saying he was going to kill both the baby and me. This time I DID go to the cops and was able to obtain a restraining order for the threats and he was even required to do some jail time. Not once did he ever mention the rape nor being the father of the child. Fast-forward a bit and my daughter will be 8 years old soon. I am her only guardian since there was never any paternity established for a father, not even on the birth certificate, it has always only been ME. I moved back to Virginia when my daughter was 4 and married my high school sweetheart who has been a father to my daughter since before we married. Together he and I also have a 1 year old. Being that there was ZERO paternity established for a father and I have ZERO idea who the biological father is, how might I proceed in having my husband (the only father my child has even known) adopt her? How do I begin? Where do we go? What paper work is involved? What does the state of Virginia say about situations like this? (Every website says something different and I keep getting the run-around on the phone and still get NO answers.)

[ScottGem]

You begin by consulting an attorney. I would not even attempt this without one. In most cases, the bio father needs to approve an adoption. However, the VA statues do provide for this: https://www.lawserver.com/law/state/...code_63-2-1202. Under Section F it states that no consent is required where the father was convicted of rape. However, its not clear that there was ever a conviction. Under Section H if there has been no contact by the father for more than 6 months consent would not be required. But you have to prove that to the court. If the father was never legally informed about the child, that may mitigate that issue.

So the good news is that I would be very surprised if a VA court would not approve your husband's adoption of the child. But it still has to go through a court and, given the circumstances, you really need an attorney to properly prepare the adoption petition.

Shop around for a Family Law attorney, they should give you a free consultation. Get an estimate of the costs. I would suspect around $1500, but that's just a guess.

[AK lawyer]

... I have ZERO idea who the biological father is, ...

No, it looks like you do have a fairly good idea who he is.

You really need to first consult with an attorney. Take it from there.