[hugostrange22]

I have like no money and my emotional problems are really bad... my psychology friend thinks I have borderline personality disorder, depression and some other things and I'm just having a hard time coping lately.

I'm not suicidal or anything, but I really would like help getting my head sorted out. It just feels like a office full of filing cabinets got blown up in my head most of the time.

[Wondergirl]

Are you in the US?

[hugostrange22]

Are you in the US?

I am, why do you ask?

[J_9]

I am, why do you ask?

Because she she would hate to refer you to someone in Lithuania. 😉

[Fr_Chuck]

We are a international site, for example, I am in China. Others in Europe. All around the world.

In the US. Most areas have help based on income. It may not be free, but will be lower cost.

Also many pastors ( check with the religious leader of your faith) have counseling training and may counsel members free, or may be able to refer you to someone.

Beware of people who are not trained professionals, telling you that you are borderline anything. A few university classes, a expert does not make. I have over 20 hours of counseling at the Masters level, and would not even start to tell people, what I think their issues are.

[talaniman]

Are you employed, or get some kind of state county assistance? Do you have other health issues? Where are you generally? Many counties in the US have local clinics, or hospitals that can guide you to get help based on your income.

[joypulv]

(Off topic, but I see that a year ago you asked about little red spots, some itchy. I just had the same reaction to Norvasc. I stopped taking it after 6 days because of intense coughing and other reasons. Some of the spots went away, but most didn't. They are little broken blood vessels, just like your doctor said.)

Borderline is not an easy diagnosis to make. Besides, what does it matter? A psych diagnosis and a dollar get you a cup of coffee. Mostly they are just there to put on insurance forms.

I'd like to add that HBP can bring on symptoms that are very much like depression and or anxiety. My BP was as high as 228 when I first found out that it had shot way above my lifelong 110/80. After 2 problematic drugs for HBP, I decided that I had to lower mine by diet. NOT SUGGESTING THAT YOU DO. But anyone with HBP should pay careful attention to what they eat and drink.

[Jake2008]

If you had a broken leg, would you go to the doctor? How about a bad concussion? A knife wound?

Serious mental health issues need to be addressed in the same way- you get help. You wouldn't live with a broken leg and continue suffering would you?

Your 'psychology friends' are taking a stab at a very complicated diagnosis. Nobody is qualified to make such a diagnosis, and offer appropriate medication, other than a Psychiatrist. And any GP, after taking your history, and current state of mind, would likely refer to you one.

ANY advice on how you manage your symptoms should also be made only by a certified doctor. We aren't talking about the blues here, but these filing cabinets exploding in your head are more than just something sounding temporary.

You said you are having 'a hard time coping lately'- does that mean that normally you do not have these symptoms? That is another factor at play here, and nobody, again, can sort through this, except a qualified doctor.

I don't know where you start in the U.S. in finding free help- you probably have a much better idea than I do. I am in Canada, and all such services are free. If you were a student though, I would say visit your student services and seek advice.

Others can help you on that important point. But, without proper medical care, and a diagnosis, and treatment, that 'broken leg' is not going to heal.

[joypulv]

He is in NC. If he could get to Chapel Hill, he might get more attention and testing.
Unexplained HBP really needs more looking into, in my mind.
"Head exploding" reminds me of someone who had undiagnosed hyperthyroidism. She got to the point where she was hallucinating, yet not the least bit schizophrenic. She went to doctor after doctor with strange symptoms, yet the minute an endocrinologist just happened to walk by, that doctor diagnosed it on the spot.
Hyperthyroid is ONE of MANY POSSIBLE underlying conditions of HBP in the young.

[J_9]

I think you mean HYPOthyroid Joy. Under active thyroid can cause depressive episodes.

[joypulv]

I mean hyper- for strange and delusional behavior.
I mean HBP for depression and anxiety. (With my HBP suddenly so high, I've been reading about women and their particular symptoms prior to heart attacks. Depression, anxiety, and panic seems pretty common, and many were erroneously sent home from ERs for that reason. I won't go into what it's like for me because it would take from this person, a man.)

I got the relationship between HBP and hyperthyroid in the young from the Mayo Clinic site, under 'unexplained HBP in teens'

[J_9]

I mean hyper- for strange and delusional behavior.
I mean HBP for depression and anxiety. (With my HBP suddenly so high, I've been reading about women and their particular symptoms prior to heart attacks. Depression, anxiety, and panic seems pretty common, and many were erroneously sent home from ERs for that reason. I won't go into what it's like for me because it would take from this person, a man.)

I got the relationship between HBP and hyperthyroid in the young from the Mayo Clinic site, under 'unexplained HBP in teens'

Okay, but the OP is a male, not a female. And the OP is not a teen. He is at least 24 years old.

While I agree that the OP needs his T3, T4, and TSH checked, from my education and experience hypothyroid can manifest itself disguised as depression. Just ask my husband. He has been happier and more stable since his diagnosis and subsequent medication.

An interesting read that is not wiki...

When depression starts in the neck - Harvard Health

Unless and until the OP gets a complete physical with all hormone tests that includes, we are beating a dead horse. Firstly we cannot diagnose. It is out of my scope of practice as a registered nurse, and it is certainly out of every one else's.

This may simply be a hormonal imbalance, it could be more serious, like a mental disorder. There is no way to know without a battery of blood tests and some talk therapy. We can guess as much as the day is long, but without the necessary tests involved, we have the potential of being more harmful than helpful.

[joypulv]

His HBP started in his teens.
I'm reading about women, but much HBP info applies generally.
My main point (which I didn't say outright) was that it would be better to look again for an undetected medical condition before trying to get therapy, which is going to be limited unless paid for out of pocket.
My secondary point, about the friend with many strange symptoms including hallucinations, is that all the many regular MDs missed her hyperthyroidism. NO YOUNG PERSON, teens or 20s, should be shrugged off with HBP.

[J_9]

His HBP started in his teens.
I'm reading about women, but much HBP info applies generally.
My main point (which I didn't say outright) was that it would be better to look again for an undetected medical condition before trying to get therapy, which is going to be limited unless paid for out of pocket.
My secondary point, about the friend with many strange symptoms including hallucinations, is that all the many regular MDs missed her hyperthyroidism. NO YOUNG PERSON, teens or 20s, should be shrugged off with HBP.

Way off topic.

[Fr_Chuck]

I do not want to start a political rant. But does not the new healthcare requirement, require coverage for mental health?

[joypulv]

Not off topic. He is young. He has unexplained HBP!! NO ONE that young should be treated for mental problems BEFORE finding the reason for HBP.

[hugostrange22]

To be completely honest I've never brought up my mental health to my doctor. I've been this way since I was really young, and I just tried to pretend I was okay because the whole thing scared my parents when I was little and they said it was probably a phase so I let them believe that.

Part of me thinks I did that because I didn't want them to feel bad about how screwed up I am, and feel guilty about not helping me, the other part of me wants to hide this side of me and pretend to be normal for my own embarrassment.

I'm always depressed, but I go through spells where I get worse or better. I also do really horrible things sometimes depending on my mood, It's a lot like I'm two different people, one strong, limitless, and narcissistic. The other quiet, withdrawn, miserable. When I'm the second, I think about how scary I am sometimes when I'm powerful.

I've seen a lot of really screwed up things, and everyone that I'm supposed to trust and love has betrayed me. A while back I had a girlfriend that cheated on me after we were set to be engaged, then my best friend tried to rape her and I took him to an abandoned asylum to... well get rid of him. But I stopped myself before I hurt him. But the fact that I went that far scares me. Then last year my family stole ten thousand dollars from me and I quit my job and felt so low. Not only had I wasted a year and a half saving, but my family had betrayed me.

I guess along with my normal ticks and clicks, I just feel like there's not a single person I can trust besides myself, which has also turned into a thing, because I talk to myself A lot now, because I feel like I'm the only one I can trust. I made a character up in my head and make up fake dialog with them to keep myself balanced. Sometimes I feel like screaming at work because I'm so frustrated and I just want to run and never stop running.

I have really bad anxiety when I think about dying, I also have no set religion so paster isn't an option really.

My doctor said he did all the blood that would be relevant to me (and said I couldn't afford some of the more expensive tests and it would be just a waste of my time), do you think a hormone imbalance is something he wouldn't have considered?

As for money I'm working a temp job that ends in a few weeks and I won't have much money after this...

Sorry for the late response by the way!

[hugostrange22]

lol

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Hey Sorry for quoting everyone! Just wanted to make sure this was seen again since I had not replied in a while. I provided a bunch of additional details, oh and I forgot to mention I don't take that medicine you mentioned. I had my spots before I took any meds, oh and I'm 24 yes.

Anyway! Thanks for all your help. I have to see my doctor soon before he'll refill my pills this month for bloodpressure and under active tydroid. I'll mention the hormone thing and see what he thinks...

He just seems like he's given up honestly. He literally said last time "if these spots haven't killed you yet, they probably wont kill you"

That really made me feel uneasy...

Anyway! Any additional information or suggestions would be great, I'll have an appointment before the month is over... so yeah!

[J_9]

Spots? What spots?

You HAVE to discuss this with your doctor. He will have references to free or sliding scale therapy. As a medical professional myself, I can't stress how important it is to be brutally honest with your medical providers. We can't help you if you won't help us help you.

[hugostrange22]

Spots? What spots?

You HAVE to discuss this with your doctor. He will have references to free or sliding scale therapy. As a medical professional myself, I can't stress how important it is to be brutally honest with your medical providers. We can't help you if you won't help us help you.

Another guy on here was bringing up my blood pressure and mentioned their medication gave them spots... I had high blood pressure/ and blood spots before I took any medication, I was just making sure they understood that lol