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mychemromance10 · Apr 10, 2007, 03:12 PM

Hi, my name is Megg. I am 16 and I am staying with my oldest sister. My mom and her girlfriend just broke up so we had to move. She can not afford a house on her own plus 3 kids. So her and my two younger brothers are staying with her friends. I am staying with my oldest sister about 3 towns over. My sisters husband is in the marines and he wants us to move to California. We both (my sister and I) know that my mom will not allow it. We have to know if I can go by the end of may. They will be able to take care of me better financially. My mom can't not even afford to rent a house. She is living in a 3 bedroom house with 6 people! Does anyone know how she can get custody of me so that I can move there with them. Please help Me!!

Becca1025 · Apr 10, 2007, 03:26 PM

How old is your sister? Well I think what you just said about your mom not being able to even rent a house and shipped you and your siblings to other people, will give your sister custody. Your sister will have to get an attorney and show financial responsibility, also you are over 13, you do have a right to decide who you can live with. (in a courtroom that is). So you will probably be able to permantly move in with your sister as long as she has financial responsibility and doesn't have felonies or anything. Goodluck

mychemromance10 · Apr 10, 2007, 03:44 PM

My sister is 26. So I do have to take my mom to court? I will not be able to talk about her while she is sitting right there... Me and her are VERY close!! But she needs to think about my future in college and stuff... Seth is in the marines so we will be very well off money wise. My mom has always been too but now she has a seziure disorder and she can't work now!

Becca1025 · Apr 10, 2007, 04:35 PM

You might not have to take your mom to court. Speak to an attorney who works with custody cases, or your sister can try to go to a court house and get custody papers, sit with your mom and speak to her about this, see if you can willingly get her to sign those papers, if not then your sister can take her to court. Your mother and your sister will be investigated (housing status, employment, any drugs/drinking problems etc) to see which one you should live. Then they will take you and question you. That is when you explain to them about how your mother is not financially stable and had to separate all of you just to get by. Tell them who you would rather live with and why. You are old enough so I am sure as long as your sister has a clean backround and shows she can afford to take care of you, your chances of living with her are pretty good. If you do not feel comfortable talking about your mom in front of her, tell the attorney and judge before your mom gets there. Although if I were you, I would talk to your mom about this NOW. That way she is not blindsided and left out in the dark. Just a suggestion. But honestly I think your sister will more than likely get custody. Goodluck any questions feel free to message me. I have been there and done that with my parents many times when I was younger, moving back and forth going through paperwork and such. Take care

mychemromance10 · Apr 11, 2007, 04:07 AM

Thank you, we will try this...

talaniman · Apr 11, 2007, 05:52 AM

Talk to your mom first as anything dealing with the courts could take a while. Give your mom the benefit of a doubt.

ScottGem · Apr 11, 2007, 06:09 AM

First, Becca is incorrect. At 16 you cannot make this decision legally. You CAN petition a family court to have your sister appointed as Guardian, but a court has to make the decision unless you mom will agree to it.

So the first thing to do is talk to your mom. Explain to her what you told us.

BTW, while it may appear that way to a 16 year old, a marine (unless a higher officer) does not really make a great deal of money.

Becca1025 · Apr 11, 2007, 01:49 PM

ScottGlem well when my parents got divorced (10 years ago) they said you can tell them who you want to live with IF you were over the age of 13. My sister was then 13 and told them she wanted to live with my mom, and as long as my mom could show she is financially stable and is a responsible parent, then we could live with her. Other than that, my parents were fighting in court for us for a very long time and if my sister did not tell them that then we probably would have ended up with my father. So I am going by what my parents told me and after moving back and forth between my parents, instead of getting attorneys or handling it in court, my parents would get papers from a court house and file custody and there is a section where the child can write the reasons they want to live with which parent. And obviously, her sisters husband (the marine) makes more money then her mother.

ScottGem · Apr 11, 2007, 03:37 PM

Becca, What you don't seem to understand was that your opinion was asked for, but it was not binding. The decision is made by a judge, not by a minor. The judge may, and usually does, take the child's input and wishes into consideration, but the decision is still in the judge's hands.

If romance just ups and goes with her big sister and her mother fights it, she most likely would win. She cannot just decide, at 16, where she wants to live.

Also, ONE person's experience does not a rule make. Its not good practice to give people blanket advice based solely on what YOU experienced.

Becca1025 · Apr 11, 2007, 05:04 PM

Scottgem My opinion is based on my experience. I think you misunderstood me or maybe I left things out, which I am reading my posts and I can see where I am misunderstood. I did NOT mean "Oh your over 13 live with who you want to, when you want to" no I did not mean that at all. What I meant, is that in court, when there is a battle between custody, the court will more than likely go by what the child wants (if over the age 13) unless there is a problem with one of the people wanting custody (drinking/drug problems, felonies, etc). ALSO I NEVER said or assumed that my opinon is binding, I said I was going off what I learned from my parents and moving back and forth between them and dealing with courts and paper work.

Lillian42 · Apr 11, 2007, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by mychemromance10

Hi, my name is Megg. I am 16 and i am staying with my oldest sister. My mom and her girlfriend just broke up so we had to move. she can not afford a house on her own plus 3 kids. So her and my two younger brothers are staying with her friends. I am staying with my oldest sister about 3 towns over. My sisters husband is in the marines and he wants us to move to California. We both (my sister and i) know that my mom will not allow it. We have to know if i can go by the end of may. They will be able to take care of me better financially. my mom can't not even afford to rent a house. she is living in a 3 bedroom house with 6 people! Does anyone know how she can get custody of me so that i can move there with them. Please help Me!!!!

Try to get the department of children services involved. Or try to get a lawyer to represent you for free. You need to have your sister talk to the department of human services and tell them that right now she is caring for you because your mother can't they might get involved then. I also think you can go to court representing yourself and ask the judge to emancipate you from you mom and if you can prove she can't support herself and all of her children but your sister is finiancally stable enough to take you in you might have a shot. Stay out of trouble and stuff though! Good Luck!!

ScottGem · Apr 11, 2007, 07:16 PM

Becca, that IS different from what you said originally. Your original post stated; "also you are over 13, you do have a right to decide who you can live with". That was incorrect. A correct statement would have been that she has the right to STATE who she wants to live with. But she has no right to DECIDE.

Becca1025 · Apr 11, 2007, 08:31 PM

Scottgem I do believe I put in a previous post "I think you misunderstood me or I maybe I left things out" or something along those lines and have corrected myself in regarding my statement previously posted "also you are over 13, you do have a right to decide who you can live with." Yes infact I have corrected myself in what I ment in those previous statements with other posts. I do feel I gave my opionion to this young lady's question and do not wish to get "off track" of her post, therefore I will not post under her question anymore, unless I have more advice/opinions to give to her. We have gotten off track on "who is right and who isn't" and that is not what this post is about. She asked for adivce/opinons and I gave mine. If you wish to continue this further feel free to message me. Other than that I stand by what I have posted. Have a good night

talaniman · Apr 11, 2007, 09:44 PM

Actually if she can barely take care of herself and two other kids I see little chance of you going anywhere but with your sister. Before you call a lawyer talk to her and have your sister and her husband back you up. You may be plotting and planning for nothing.

Matt3046 · Apr 11, 2007, 10:40 PM

Just form a reasonable argument, and in a reasonable manner explain it to your mother. You may be able to convince her that this will be a good thing, (it is after all your sister) but court is very expensive and takes along time. If you approach this like a sensible adult your mother may look at you in a new light and be willing to trust you enough to allow you to go.