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Oliver2011 · May 21, 2015, 08:30 PM

I wrote a response but chose to delete it. I'll leave this one alone.

CravenMorhead · May 22, 2015, 07:17 AM

There seems to be a lot here you two don't talk about. You need to talk about, calmly and without recrimination. It is hard to do. You need to hammer out expectations and work around your money issues. If you don't it is going to be the rot that destroys your relationship. This can be likened to a test of your relationship, you need to work this out like adults and if you can't... well time to part ways.

The other thing is that you're in a different culture now being in the US, and you have can either hold onto the old ways and culture of China or adapt to the culture of the Western Worlds.

yyyyynnnnn · May 22, 2015, 04:20 PM

Thanks for response all. Last two days he's gone. Since long time ago he didn't answer my call, let alone FaceTime. For the last two days he's gone to grandpas funeral. So again of course he didn't allow me distract him.

We broke up so many times. Mostly by me. I don't know how continue this weird relationship. He didn't take me-his fiancé to funeral claiming I always want to come back earlier.

im gonna remove the words...
Thanks for everyone's opinion!

Jake2008 · May 22, 2015, 04:37 PM

To me you sound like polar opposites.

Plus, to add insult to injury, the two of you have insurmountable differences. You are both considering marriage, yet you can't even get your stories straight.

You are not a well-matched couple. Regardless of who is right about what story has been told here, I see you like to get the last word in, and you don't hesitate to have an arrogant attitude toward American men. I hate to tell you honey, but ALL men have the same working parts- including their anatomy, and their brains. There are cultural differences and expectations, but in this day and age, all of that, with two people who love each other and are willing to overcome anything to be together, is NOT a problem. But, it is for you.

I don't hear you, or him, ask how to resolve your differences, or whether you have considered couples counseling, or just what you or he are willing to compromise on. However, you come across loud and clear about things must be done your way. You say you want to leave him, and you've separated more than a few times- so what is it about you that keeps on with this mockery of a relationship?

I don't think you'd have any trouble with all your money and intelligence to create a list of what you want in an American man, and join a match site. Perhaps you'd have more luck.

As long as push coming to shove, and neither of you knowing which end is up, and nothing is ever resolved- for God's sake- let it go, say good bye, and get on with your life.

Both of you can do better.

yyyyynnnnn · May 22, 2015, 05:06 PM

Thank you much,

Oliver2011 · May 22, 2015, 05:16 PM

On the surface I agree with Jake but I am skeptical mostly because my job is to consider the facts and judge them accordingly. And in doing so I believe one author has typed all posts/questions from this OP.

First off the title of the post is "Should I ditch her?" That's a pretty strong question yet the response from the "woman" doesn't address this at all (excuse me if I'm wrong - I didn't read the whole miniseries). And instead of addressing this with "him", it's ignored so "she" can type the miniseries. I think most rational couples in real relationships would have dealt with the title immediately.

Second, these "two" who have incredible issues communicating with "each other" have no issues whatsoever communicating in the posts. It just strikes me as peculiar along with other things in the posts.

yyyyynnnnn · May 23, 2015, 05:20 AM

Do not trust him! He's lying all the time, he said hotels for beach all booked out(how can it be possible?! ), so can't go out this weekend, and no plan for this long weekend at all, I've asked see you next Tuesday or next life, he answered next life. Later he said was kidding but I don't think so. He always ignore my texts, phone calls, which fiance would behave like that? Doormat? Come on! I'm gullible, not him. He liked me because whatever he says I believed, but not any more. He's tired of me because he found he can't get anything from me, money or sex! Always pretend like he's so nice to me! So far he didn't even invite me to a movie or bought me one bottle of water when we go out!

I DON'T know if he really went to his grandpa's funeral, cause he said that morning he's going to have sex! Can't trust this guy!

Wasted my precious time! LIAR!

talaniman · May 23, 2015, 05:45 AM

So why not just leave him alone and tell him to leave you alone? Two fighting adults cannot make a healthy loving couple anyway. Maybe this love stuff is really over. Sounds that way to me. Sounds like it's been over for a while really, but neither of you can let go.

yyyyynnnnn · May 23, 2015, 07:03 AM

SpiderXX, do not send me text any more. I'm not 'literally crazy!' YOU ARE! If you have anything to say leave message here, let others judge who is correct.

Originally Posted by talaniman

So why not just leave him alone and tell him to leave you alone? Two fighting adults cannot make a healthy loving couple anyway. Maybe this love stuff is really over. Sounds that way to me. Sounds like it's been over for a while really, but neither of you can let go.

Thanks for the suggestion. I need time...

J_9 · May 23, 2015, 07:05 AM

Wow! Just Wow!

talaniman · May 23, 2015, 07:35 AM

Wow is right! Since this is a Q&A site and not a battleground for lovers, though interesting, these two can resolve their differences in private, and post results... in another thread, under their own accounts.

Thread is hereby CLOSED!

J_9 · May 23, 2015, 07:49 AM

Me thinks we are being punked. Grown adults aren't this immature.