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zani · May 19, 2015, 11:10 PM

My daughter moved her and my grandson from the east coast to the west coast in March. I want to go get him by plane and fly him back with me and let him visit me and his other grandparents and dad, for 2 weeks then I will fly back with him to return to his mom. My daughter feels it will set him back in his adjusting to his new home, I feel he needs to understand the reason he cant see us all on a day to day basis as he was always used to doing. I think it would be good for him to understand everyone he loves is still there, but it takes an airplane to get to them or them get to him. And I know he would be happy visiting everyone. Would it be good for him to do this 2 week trip or would it disrupt his adjustment to his new home?

joypulv · May 20, 2015, 01:37 AM

Not only does he need to adjust to his new home, but two weeks is much too long to be away from his mother at age 3. I can't believe he has been away for more than an overnight til now?

And the question is moot anyway - his mother says no, right or wrong. I think she is right.

Grandchildren can talk on the phone and can skype online. It really does let them know that you still exist! Before the internet, most of us saw far away grandparents once or twice a year.

tickle · May 20, 2015, 03:15 AM

Just let it be. At three it doesn't make much difference where he is really. He should be with his mom in his new home.

talaniman · May 20, 2015, 04:54 AM

This is the mother's call. Do it her way. You can always visit him and go back home though grandma. So can the other grandparents. He will enjoy that, and not have to be separated from his mom, and home that way. Plenty of time for visits when he is older, and better able to understand things better.

Cat1864 · May 20, 2015, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by zani

My daughter moved her and my grandson from the east coast to the west coast in March. I want to go get him by plane and fly him back with me and let him visit me and his other grandparents and dad, for 2 weeks then I will fly back with him to return to his mom. My daughter feels it will set him back in his adjusting to his new home, I feel he needs to understand the reason he cant see us all on a day to day basis as he was always used to doing. I think it would be good for him to understand everyone he loves is still there, but it takes an airplane to get to them or them get to him. And I know he would be happy visiting everyone. Would it be good for him to do this 2 week trip or would it disrupt his adjustment to his new home?

This sounds like something that is best left between Mom and Dad.

Are you really concerned about him not understanding why he doesn't see you on a day-to-day basis or are you afraid he will forget you?

He won't understand that a plane ride indicates distance. As Joy mentioned, there are other ways to keep in touch.

Push too hard for the visit and Mom may start turning off all forms of contact.

Frankly, I don't think I would want to subject a three-year old to a long plane trip.

ScottGem · May 20, 2015, 05:48 AM

This sounds like there is a divorce involved

visit me and his other grandparents and dad

I totally agree with the others that it is Mom's call. But I'm going make another point here. Do you want to spend 6 hours in a plane with a 3 yr Old? I certainly wouldn't unless it was absolutely necessary.

With Skype or other online tools, there is no reason the child can't see his relatives on a regular basis.

J_9 · May 20, 2015, 06:19 AM

I'm going to agree with the others for the most part. He hasn't been in his new environment long enough to adapt at only 2 months.

Here re is where I will disagree. Starting a 3 years of age my daughter visited her grandparents for 2 weeks every summer. They lived 600 miles away from us, after we moved away when she was a year old. We didn't fly, but rather drove half way to meet in the middle for lunch and to "exchange" our daughter.

So, I don't think 2 weeks is extensive for a 3 year old to visit with responsible family, but the timing isn't right. He. Needs more time to adapt and adjust to his new surroundings. A move like his can wreak havoc on a child and after such a short time at his new residence you would be disrupting his new routine and cause him confusion as to where he should be.