[Samloveskyle]

Hey, Im 16 and me and my boyfriend have been together for awhile now and do you ever just get the feeling that he's the one? Well I have the feeling and my boyfriend has asked me to marry him in the fall. He is 21 and I know that seems like a lot of age difference, but I am very mature for my age. My parents have said yes, because they said that we look at each other the way that they did when they were married. I love him with all my heart. But... everyone like older people think I am too young. Am I?:confused:

[J_9]

Without knowing the two of your personally, only going by age, I would have to say yes you are too young.

Again, I don't know either one of you, I am just going by your ages, so bear with me.

If you live in the U.S. You still have many years of partying to get out of your system before you settle down. At 17 or 18 when your friends are going out clubbing and you are stuck at home with a husband and/or baby, you will feel left out. At around age 30 you may start wondering what you missed. Your friends had all gotten this out of their systems before settling down, but you never did.

I am just presenting something to provoke your thoughts on this.

[Rockabilly1955mama]

I've been there. Chances are, you can't tell if he's 'the one'. You either really like him, or you really love him. You're still young, and you have yet to experience a lot of difficult things that come your way in life. Complicated I know, you're are still young so don't get caught up in him.
=]

[ggmagoo]

If he loves you that much and knows that he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. He will wait for you to be ready. If you even have to ask the question you are not ready to take that step. You may be very mature for your age, but people change as they get older and wiser. What I wanted at 16 was not what I wanted at 20. Not to say that you will not want him when you are 20. If it was meant to be it will be... when your BOTH ready. I am not sure how long you have been together, but stay together, continue to grow together hold off on the marriage thing until your 18 at least. During this time ask yourself what you want out of life, what are you goals and dreams. If he really loves you he would wait a lifetime for you. Good luck.

[vlee]

I know you feel the need to jump in... I know because I made a commitment very near your age too. I also know that even though you feel sure now, you will not later. This point in your life is when you are supposed to be exploring relationships and other people. This is when you begin to learn about different personality types of others. And I can say with certainty that who you are at 16, no matter how mature or level headed, is not who you are at 26. Yes, that seems far off now. No, you don't believe you will change. Please know that I am not deceiving you when I say that in 10 years you will be a completely different person than you are today. Trust that if this is the man for you, fate or God will put you together. Waiting will not change your destiny, right? You have come here because you are unsure what the right answer is, so I interpret that to mean you are wise enough to know that you do not know everything. Please take it from someone who learned the hard way... your mate is out there, and TIME will tell you who he is.

[Lotz_of_Questions]

I got married at 17, my husband was 19. Everyone thought we were too young. We both felt mature and were and are still in love. It's really up to you and how you feel.
It's harder for young couples because everyone thinks you'll get divorced in no time and that your marriage isn't going to last, but that actually helped us. We have proved everone wrong and our marriage is very strong. And like every relationship, we have problems, but we have learned to grow in our marriage peacefully and happily.
Just remember to finish school and think about a higher education. Good Luck :)

[shine74]

My Opinion is basically the same. Marriage is a lifetime commitment don't rush into it. There is plenty of time for it. Right now your first priority should be your school and what will be in your future. You don't want to start married life with plenty of dept and dead end jobs, that will only bring you more stress and plenty of troubles. Atlease finish high school before you get married, that would be the smarter choice.

I got married at 18 with my husband being 19 basically because I got pregnant at 17. I am now 33 years old and our marriage is good but we went through lots of hard times that almost broke us, lots of people would have called it quits but we both stuck with it. We started at 18,19 with a child and poverty, we needed social assistance to help us, my husband worked but not enough to support us. I ended up pregnant two more times so I was now 21 and three babies and on social assistance, now nothing is worst then that. My husband was such in a depression because no work was around for him to support us, so we had to do something drastic, he moved South while I stayed North,(Ontario, Canada) for 6 months as he found a job and saved enough money for the kids and I to move here. We have been off social assistance ever since but still struggling at times. Now that is very hard on a marriage, money can make or break you. Then their were other factors, my husband had a short lived affair on me just a little over a year ago. Now that has been tuff and I have been struggling with it ever since. But we are both committed into working out our problems and we are in counselling and we are learning to communicate better but even with all that, I still have my issues.

My point is, that married life is very tuff, and you better look at it on every angle, I have defied most statistics out there because our love is strong and we haven't given up on anything yet. But never say never. If you do decide to go through with getting married, right now or in a few years, please please go to those marriage encounter weekends, learn how to communicate and keep those lines open because that is your key to a successful marriage, communication, Love and trust. You lose any of those or if one partner quits on the marriage then it's doomed to fail.

Also, like others have said, you might be very mature for your age, but what you feel like now, you won't feel like in 5 years, 10 or 15 years. I was very mature at 16 also, I started caring for a household when I was 9 years old, taking care of bills by 14, and all that stuff, I got pregnant by 17, I was a good Mom, I knew how to take care of a child, I had been babysitting since I was 11. By the time I was 21, I was a pro, here I am with 3 kids and keeping the house clean and keeping on a tiny budget, then I broke down, I didn't see no way out. Until one day I grew up, and I realized that I wasn't playing house here, this was real life and my children were starting to feel it. That's when we found our options and took a big sacrifice to separate so we can have a real life. Both of us grew up, and you know what, I am still learning new things and I am still growing. You can't tell yourself you know everything because you just don't. That's why I am saying, there is plenty of time for a married life, get your education and a good job first so then you can both provide for yourselves and any children that you may be blessed with. Think of them, it's not fair to them all the time when you can't afford this or that. Remember they didn't ask to be born.

Just some food for though.
I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. If love is there now it will be there for when you are really ready. If it's not, then it wasn't meant to be.

[Krs]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ose-81864.html

Well after reading your post above I dont think you should get married!!

[Fr_Chuck]

Thank you Krs that sheds a lot more light on the situation, you most certainly need to get some time past those doubts and certainty.

Why not wait a couple years, if you are are really in love it will last, and if not you did not make a big mistake, finish high school, and be able to work and support the a family if you have to.

In 2 years if you are still together, he is the ONE.

[Beachgrl]

I would say yes, you're too young. If you get married now you both, but especially you will miss out on SO much! There is a whole life out there that you haven't experienced yet. Don't sell yourself short. Not to mention since you are so young you and him with both change a lot in the next 5-10 years and you don't want somebody there holding you back from finding out who you really are.

[Tuscany]

With the post that KRS pointed out, and your age I would say you need to wait.
You have your whole world ahead of you, are you ready to settle down before you have even begun to live your life as an adult.

[talaniman]

I think you need to finish your education and have fun and enjoy your youth.