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Junior Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 09:39 AM
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Would I consider this person a real friend?
So my friend and I have been really quite close, although we are introverts and don't usually hang out together,we usually go to parties together and we're invited.
The thing is,there was this party where she was invited but I wasn't, and I spoke to her on the day of the party but she didn't mention anything about it, moreover she didn't even bother to ask me if I'm invited or not, or ask the host if I've been invited.
After that when I saw her again, I subtly asked her about it and she said "yeah maybe they must have forgotten to invite you..they made a group on facebook"... and I felt really hurt.
Although in school we are still really close, and she is friendly to me and we hangout with each other, I'm starting to think she might not be a true friend and that if she is hiding this from me, means that I'm not important to her, trust me I have been crying loads over this.
She was the only close friend I had, and now I feel really lonely.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 09:42 AM
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How old are you and what grade are you in?
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Junior Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
How old are you and what grade are you in?
Hey I'm 17 and in the last year of school
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 10:11 AM
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What's keeping you from honestly questioning her about why she thinks you weren't invited?
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Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 10:24 AM
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You may be jumping to conclusions and getting all worked up without facts, just hurt feelings. Whatever happened to straight talking?
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Junior Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
What's keeping you from honestly questioning her about why she thinks you weren't invited?
She just tells me maybe they forgot to invite you and thsts it
Originally Posted by talaniman
You may be jumping to conclusions and getting all worked up without facts, just hurt feelings. Whatever happened to straight talking?
I feel its too late to ask her now,we ve spiken about this twice and all she said was she had a good time and that they just forgot to invite me, I feel she is not true friend
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by natashap25
She just tells me maybe they forgot to invite you and thsts it
You talked with her about it only twice? Did you tell her how you feel?
I feel its too late to ask her now,we ve spiken about this twice and all she said was she had a good time and that they just forgot to invite me, I feel she is not true friend
So you're going to wallow in self-imposed misery over this? There's no other way to find out why you weren't invited? And what would a "true friend" have done?
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Junior Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Wondergirl
You talked with her about it only twice? Did you tell her how you feel?
So you're going to wallow in self-imposed misery over this? There's no other way to find out why you weren't invited? And what would a "true friend" have done?
No I'm not going to bring thi sup again since everyone has already forgotten abou tth eparty and I will come across as desperate.I'll try to forget about,a true friend would have asked me if I was going and especially since we spoke on the day.
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Jobs & Parenting Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 11:48 AM
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So now what?
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Full Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 11:57 AM
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We have friends, we have our own life going, likewise they also have their own life going on. I think sometimes our friends don't tell us about the party or function they are going to attend because they don't don't want to hurt our feelings if we are not invited in the same party. And they are also in situation where they cant invite you voluntarily because they are not the host of the party. I think they don't do it to be mean, but they don't want you too feel left alone and also want to be in a party of their other friends may be.
:)
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Expert
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Apr 15, 2015, 12:04 PM
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You can do what you want, but this wouldn't be the first time you made emotional impulsive decisions that you regret later. You have what I call a fickle heart, instead of working through your feelings you act according to how you feel at the moment.
Consider its you who may not be as good a friend as you could be, and also your friend may have wanted to spare your feelings, but you will never know if you have retreated to the position that she is no friend and there is nothing more to discuss.
Fickle hearts do a lot of assuming to justify selfish behavior, and almost NEVER consider the feelings of those around them, because they can blame their hurt feelings on others and not themselves. Now you feel betrayed and rather angry, and LONELY, and rather than talk it through, would rather retreat into excuses.
Talk and clear the air, in a calm honest way so you can move beyond this with some understanding of your friend. Balance those hurt feelings with facts for a change, instead of assuming, and presuming. Yes you presume your friend is as introverted as you, but obviously she is NOT. In reality maybe she rather liked being solo for a change, and as a friend that should be okay.
If you don't talk and clear the air, you will only have resentments, and YOU don't need bad feelings festering needlessly, but what you do is up to you.
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Ultra Member
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Apr 15, 2015, 05:34 PM
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To answer your question - YES.
This isn't all about you. It's about your friend too. She got invited to a party and she wanted to go. That puts her into a bad position as well. What would you have done in her position? More importantly is this worth losing a friend over? I think not.
Did she handle it perfectly? Probably not. But most people don't. And that's okay.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Apr 16, 2015, 08:58 AM
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She may have not wanted to hurt your feelings knowing you weren't invited. That does not mean she is not a good friend.
Get over it. If you would throw away a friendship away over that, I would say you are the one that is not a good friend.
Sounds like hurt feelings and jealousy.
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