[MINIJAY36]

I am 25 yr old boy and currently working in the BPO sector and also pursuing 2nd year graduation. I earn not more than 17k/month.

My father is 65+ yrs. old and he wants me to get married as he wants to fulfill his responsibility and also I have 2 yrs. lesser younger brother.

The problem here is that I am confused, and don't know how I can manage with that minimum salary and much more.

So, please help me.What should I do?

[Cat1864]

I am going to guess that you are in India. Is your father very traditional in regards to the oldest brother marrying before younger brother(s)? If he is very set in his traditions, then he may not be seeing the world and financial burden of a wife the same way you are. Try looking at the situation through his perspective as a way of figuring out how you can explain your arguments and reasoning for waiting in a way he will understand.

Have you talked to your father about your concerns? Do you have a plan for your future and where you would like to be in your career before marrying?

Do you have a girlfriend you want to marry in the future when you both are settled in your careers or does your father have a female picked out he would like for you to consider marrying? Is your bother ready to marry?

I understand your father has responsibilities to the family and you. One of those responsibilities being seeing you married and settled in your home life. You need to sit down and talk with him about how you plan to work on your career and build up your finances before taking on the added responsibility of a wife and family. Be honest that you want to be able to support your family.

Try to find words that your father will understand like your responsibility as a good son is to make certain you and your family are not a burden on your father. See if you can come up with a plan that gives your father some security in knowing that you are working toward the goal(s) he wants you to meet, but that gives you time and flexibility to live your own life. If you have a girlfriend and are planning to marry in the future, perhaps talking to him as a couple to show him that you are making plans. If he has a bride in mind or is looking for one, explain that you will be a better catch once you are more stable financially.

[ScottGem]

A 25 yr old should not be thinking of themselves as a "boy". I would have worded it 25 Year old male. ​

[talaniman]

Of course you are confused because you must make a choice, follow the traditions of your elders, or follow your own path. The fine line you walk is to honor both, so tell your father you must achieve to find a wife who has achieved, and thats what you are getting ready for. That buys you time at least without being rude, or disrespectful, but HONEST.

Then talk to your younger brother, Ever ask him what he wants?

He may not be in as big a hurry to marry either. You will feel better that you are not stopping him from what he wants. And stop seeing yourself as a boy who must be told what to do. 25 is no BOY in any culture so don't act like one.

A man can respect his father, AND HIMSELF.