[Ace7825]

Hello everyone!

Here is my dilemma. I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and she loves me with all of her heart. I however have serious issues with even knowing what love is. I had a childhood where I wasn't shown how to love another person. In short, I am also a very superficial person which I admit is very shallow. My girlfriend and I broke up recently because I couldn't commit to marrying her and she deserves that. The main problem is that I am not sexually attracted to her. I have specific tastes and to be honest, she is not my physical type. That being said, absolutely everything about her is perfect for me except the physical part. I struggle to even want to have sex with her. I am constantly thinking that I am missing out on someone who is a better sexual fit for me. However, in the three weeks since we have been broken up, I can't think of another woman, being without her makes me almost sick. The emotional connection that we share is unbelievable! She is complete marriage material and if we were 65 and sex didn't matter... I would marry her in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I am only 36 and thinking about sacrificing my sexuality for the next 25 years scares me. Like I said, it feels like I can't breath without her but when I'm with her I am constantly thinking about other women sexually because I don't view her in a sexual way. I feel like I might be giving up the best woman in the world for me. I just don't know how the relationship could ever last if the sexual chemistry isn't there. Any thoughts and opinions are appreciated!

[talaniman]

You are learning about yourself and how to deal with your own emotions, and interactions with others. You aren't ready for marriage, you are still learning the differences between want, desire, love, and lust, friendship, and romance, and much much more.

How old are you?

[catonsville]

36 He said.

[talaniman]

Then I have to leave it at you don't want to marry her, so since she dumped you anyway, leave her alone so you can break the emotional attachment.

[Oliver2011]

I agree. At some point in your life you will come to realize that beauty fades and the emotional connection doesn't. But if you can't give yourself to her then you probably shouldn't. And maybe later on that will be a regret. But only you will realize that.

[joypulv]

I agree too.
You admit to a superficial inability to really care about someone. I suspect that missing her is more about yourself than about her - you are just lonely. The second another available woman walks into your life, you will forget this one.
You have done an admirable thing though, by admitting your limitations. That means there's hope for you. Consider some therapy.

You have yet to truly love a woman romantically? You say you are 'only' 36 in the context of future of sexlessness, but what about love. If this shallow existence is deeply entrenched, get some therapy, or you will repeat this forever.