[loveable]

Me and my boyfriend are both 21 and have been together for almost 2 years. We are both virgins and recently have started to talking about sex and I feel ready but I am terrified of getting pregnant. If you have sex exactly after your period, using a condom and still ejaculating outside, is the probability of getting pregnant very low? The morning after pill is not legal in our country so I have to be really safe :(

[joypulv]

ALL forms of birth control are not 100% safe, not condoms, not withdrawal, not the pill, patch, or even tubal ligation. I even know a woman who had her uterus removed, but they used a tiny flap of it to sew over her cervix, and she still got pregnant. Women get pregnant from using 2 or even 3 forms together.

Getting pregnant is all about probability. Various women's groups publish odds of getting pregnant for each kind of b.c., but they aren't exact, and they can't be used as a guide that applies to each one of us. The stats aren't scientific, because they rely on what women report only, not on controlled studies.

I've seen rates for both withdrawal and condoms of around 25%. Use both and of course the number goes down. Have sex at the beginning of a cycle, and it goes down a bit more.
25% would mean that for every 4 times you have sex, 1 of them is likely to get you pregnant. 400 times, 100 chances. And so on. That's not good birth control! What would I guess the number would be for using both and having sex only at the beginning? A wild guess, 10% or less. BUT what good is that? Once you are pregnant, you are 100% pregnant.

The pill is under 1%, but with a billion women in the world having sex, that's a lot of unplanned pregnancies. 1% of a billion is 10 million.

A man and woman having sex need to be prepared for pregnancy, no matter how small the odds.

[Fr_Chuck]

Using a condom and withdraw is safer than no protection at all. And yes, places like Planned Parenthood lists condom failure at about 18 percent, but I have seen rates up to 25 percent also.

Withdrawal sounds good, but there is still sperm in early fluids, and many men not able to actually pull out, when it comes time, the passion is very hard.

But as said before, it is a matter of luck and timing, you may get pregnant the first time you do it, that way, or you may get pregnant the 100'th time, but the odds are it will happen.

[Cat1864]

In addition to what has been said: While apps and calendars can be fairly accurate in predicting ovulation for some women, they aren't for all women. What is a normal cycle for you may vary from the textbook 'norm' that the apps and calendar method use. So, you need to know when you ovulate.

One way to find out the timing for your cycle is to track your Basal Temperature for several months. It will give you a better idea of when you are at your most fertile time of the cycle. Basal body temperature for natural family planning Definition - Tests and Procedures - Mayo Clinic

Do you have access to other forms of birth control? Do you have a doctor you can discuss contraception with?

[loveable]

No, unfortunately I do not have since my mother is very old fashioned and will freak out if she finds out I am even thinking about it and I do not know of any personal doctor other than the one we use as a family. However, if you have sex the day after your period stops, with a condom and the guy pulls out before coming, isn't the risk REALLY low?

[J_9]

The chance is low, but there is still a possibility. Any time a penis is inserted into a vagina there is a risk of pregnancy.

[DoulaLC]

The risk is lower than if you didn't use a condom, especially if the condom was used correctly. That means that there is no penetration before the condom is put on or after it is taken off. Generally you will likely ovulate about 12-16 days before a period is due, but some women ovulate sooner and some later on a regular basis... and you can have an off ovulation now and then, where you ovulate outside your usually norm. If you happen to ovulate early in a cycle, then sex right after a period is done, may not be a "safe" time for you. You have to consider that sperm may live a few days, so you don't have to ovulate right when you had sex to become pregnant. In fact, women often become pregnant as a result from sex they had a few days prior to ovulation.

Since an unplanned pregnancy would be a major issue for you, consider not having sex until you are married. That way you have nothing to worry about. If your boyfriend wants to help you avoid any unnecessary worry/stress, he can do without for now.

[Alty]

Women have gotten pregnant while on their period. It happens often enough to mention.

As J9 said, any time penis enters vagina, even with protection, pregnancy is possible. There are women on this site that used 3 different forms of birth control together, all used correctly, and still got pregnant. Some more than once.

If you're considering having sex you have to be ready to be a mom, that's just the way it is. So if you're not ready to be a mom, maybe you should put off sex until you are.

[Fr_Chuck]

Think of the low risk like this.

There are 100 guns on a table, one has a bullet in a cylinder. If you pick the right gun, and that gun and pull the trigger, you are dead or someone is dead.

It is low odds, but if you do this every day, at some point you fire a gun. Same here, it can happen the first time, or happen the 200th time, but it will happen.

Before you do it, think of how to tell your parents you are pregnant, you can not even talk to them about birth control, how will you tell them you are pregnant,

Are you and the boy ready to raise a baby? As boyfriend to help pick baby names first, so you will have he baby named.