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67kichu · Mar 6, 2015, 01:41 PM

Hi guys... I belong to hindu nadar community and I am in deep love with a girl belonging to gounder society. We want to marry with our parents blessings. Though we are not ready and won't leave each other . Yet we expect the full blessing of both family. But both our family are strictly caste based. Is there a way to convince them ?

joypulv · Mar 6, 2015, 04:02 PM

Why, if both families are strict about caste, do you 'expect their full blessing?' You must realize that you aren't going to get it. You can wait until you have good careers backed by good education, and give a polite but earnest talk to all of them about a changing world based on the value of being a success. But if that is not part of your futures, you probably will have two options: do what they want or leave their homes and blessings, and hope they accept you someday.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 6, 2015, 09:04 PM

Of course not, you are dreaming and it will never happen.

At best, they will not treat you like an outcast and accept the marriage but consider it a big mistake.

You will never get full acceptance, a blessing is unrealistic.

talaniman · Mar 7, 2015, 07:40 AM

If you cannot convince them, which is highly unlikely, will that prevent you from being together, and marrying some day? Is the blessings of the family as important to her as it is too YOU?

What makes you think that they will NOT convince YOU, or HER, to NOT marry each other? That's usually how it goes with families deep into the caste system. Have you convinced your intended to go against HER family yet?

Have you convinced yourself you will go against the wishes of your own family YET? I doubt you can convince either family for their blessings, so decide what you and your intended will do about it. They have MORE power to convince YOU, and HER of their way of thinking than either of you have to convince them.

All you have is feelings, and desires, they have AUTHORITY. For that reason getting their blessings is not reasonable, and the real question is what you, and your intended will do about it. Are you really in a position to convince them of anything. The answer is NO!

Don't waste your time trying to convince them of ANYTHING, as long as you both depend on your parents for EVERYTHING you have and do. When you both are independent, you can do as you please, with, or without full blessings, because you will have all authority over yourselves.