Check out some similar questions!

Mobea · Apr 9, 2007, 06:59 PM

My grown, married, high risk pregnant daughter is leaving to do Christian missionary work in a war country this week. This is tearing my family apart. Although she is going to a relatively "safe" part of that country, it still is hard for my family to accept. They strongly feel as though she has gone off the deep end. I went ballistic when she first told me, but I have to keep faith and understand that she believes that God is calling her to do this. I can't argue with God. He seems to have made everything possible for her and her husband to go. So I support her decision. She's my daughter and there's nothing she can do that will make me stop loving her. I just want to keep my family together before it's too late.

ordinaryguy · Apr 9, 2007, 07:15 PM

Do you have a question?

Mobea · Apr 9, 2007, 07:29 PM

Simply what do I do?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 9, 2007, 08:04 PM

Pray, and leave it in God's hands.

I have always personally believe that God gives us some sense to know when not to do something's, and that not all open doors are from God, but sometimes things to distract us from what is most important. I am not sure that with a high risk pregnancy, she may not have been better off letting her husband following after the child is born.
The bible has been clear of the importance of family and even the husbands duty to protect the family. Moses did not always take his wife into the palace for example. But it is of course not your choice or mine, we have to rely on God for his protection

Mobea · Apr 10, 2007, 06:34 AM

I was hoping that you would answer FrChuck. I had tried searching for scriptures that would have convinced her not to go, but alas, she's leaving Friday. On top of the pregnancy, she started having seizures about 2 years ago. My family is so mad at her right now, they have said some pretty mean things to her. My prayer now is that they make it over there safely and come home safely. If this isn't God's plan, then I pray that God protects them. I just don't know how to calm my family down. They're mad at me now for supporting her in her decision. I just don't know how to bring my family back together. What can I say to my family? Oh I pray, I pray.

NowWhat · Apr 10, 2007, 06:52 AM

Is she hurting your family? I know frustration can come when you love someone. But, is verbally attacking her helping? She is an adult and knows her body. If she feels she can do this and has an o.k. from her doctor - the best thing you and the family can do is bite your tongue and support her in her decision. And trust God. If he is calling her - then she needs to listen. I think she would be worse off ignoring God.

Mobea · Apr 10, 2007, 06:59 AM

I guess that God must really trust her.

NowWhat · Apr 10, 2007, 07:03 AM

Yes, and now you need to.

Lillian42 · Apr 15, 2007, 09:08 PM

How high risk of a pregnancy is it and what do her doctors say about her going?

NowWhat · Apr 16, 2007, 08:04 AM

Well, Friday came and went. Did your daughter go? How are you dealing with it?

Mobea · Apr 16, 2007, 06:53 PM

Well, she left for training in CA for the trip on Friday. She went to the dr on Weds and she said that the baby is fine, it's a girl and that it would be okay for her to travel. So I was okay with whatever was going to happen. I haven't talked to my family since then, but I guess that they have to deal with it however they can. She's my daughter and I will suport her in anything that she believes in. BUT... then I read that another country asked their president for the authorization to invade the part of the war zone that she is going to, and now I... I just don't know what to think or do anymore. Part of me want's to believe that God will take care of them and part of me wants to anything I can possible do to prevent this from happening. I also understand that this is not MY choice.. it's hers. Right?

NowWhat · Apr 16, 2007, 07:26 PM

Of course you want to protect her. She is still your child. But - you have to trust her and God. If she isn't supposed to be there - God will put up a road block for her. If it gets to dangerous - she will be sent home.
Let me just say this, I am extremely close with my mother - I value her opinion so much. If I knew that she didn't support me on something I felt so strongly about - I would be crushed.
Why do I tell you this - your daughter needs you to support her - even if you do not agree with what she is doing. The best thing for you to do is be her biggest cheerleader right now and you pray - pray with everything you have got. You must know the power of prayer. Get her on prayer lists at church, etc. That is what you can do for your daughter and your future granddaughter.
Oh, by the way, congratulations!

Mobea · Apr 16, 2007, 07:42 PM

Thank you, I am excited about having a granddaughter, I have two grandsons and I was really happy to hear about her. When you say pray, I do... this is testing MY faith though. This even goes beyond me and my daughter. I REALLY have to trust God on this one I'm still not 100% convinced though, that the God that I know and love would really want my daughter to do this. But then again, this comes back to MY faith. You're right, my daughter and I are so close, really, really close... and it almost drove a wedge between us, until I realized that no matter what my daughter does, I will support her. But this is hard. Because now, it goes beyond what my daughter and I have, this is between me and God now. I just can't seem to separate what is between me and my daughter and her decision and supporting her and between me and God, as to why He would want her to do this. How do I separate the two? Do I just trust God, that this really is what He wants?

ordinaryguy · Apr 17, 2007, 05:01 AM

Originally Posted by Mobea

But this is hard. Because now, it goes beyond what my daughter and I have, this is between me and God now. I just can't seem to seperate what is between me and my daughter and her decision and supporting her and between me and God, as to why He would want her to do this. How do I seperate the two? Do I just trust God, that this really is what He wants?

What God wants. Now there's a riddle. I think too often we conceive of God as wanting us to do this or that, and go here or there when maybe all He cares about is who we are. The danger of focusing too much on whether our doings and goings are "what God wants" is in how we deal with the tragedies and disappointments that befall us. When something "bad" happens, our first impulse is to blame God for allowing it to happen, them to doubt ourselves for having decided to go to where the tragedy happened, imagining that we must have acted "against God's will".

By all means, pray for your daughter and her family as they go to a dangerous place. If they come out unscathed you can thank God for protecting them. If something tragic happens, you can thank God that it wasn't worse and for the strength to deal with it. Besides, tragedies happen in relatively safe places every day--accidents, illnesses, and all the rest of it. There's no safe place in the material world, so if God can't get you through bad things as well as good, He's not much of a God.

NowWhat · Apr 17, 2007, 06:54 AM

Our faith gets tested all the time. You just have to stay strong. Trust that your daughter had a calling. She has put her faith in God to know that this is the path she should be on.
Can I say that she will come home unharmed? I can't say that my husband will make it home from work today - but she is doing God's work. We never know when our time is up. If she can bring just one person to God, so they will know what you and I know - her life will have a purpose. You have to believe that.
Like I have said before, you have to pray. I know you do. But, this is not the time to lose your faith. Your daughter and everyone she is with is counting on you and all of the ones they love to pray for them - Prayer is Powerful! Don't doubt that now.

I can't imagine what you are going through. If it were my daughter I would be scared to death too. Just don't give into your fears. Don't give up on God.

krittengirl · Apr 17, 2007, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by Mobea

My grown, married, high risk pregnant daughter is leaving to do Christian missionary work in a war country this week. This is tearing my family apart. Although she is going to a relatively "safe" part of that country, it still is hard for my family to accept. They strongly feel as though she has gone off the deep end. I went ballistic when she first told me, but I have to keep faith and understand that she believes that God is calling her to do this. I can't argue with God. He seems to have made everything possible for her and her husband to go. So I support her decision. She's my daughter and there's nothing she can do that will make me stop loving her. I just want to keep my family together before it's too late.

What do you do?? You pray. You get others to pray. You continue to pour through the scriptures, not just searching for what you want, but to be still and let God Speak to you. I will begin adding your daughter and her family to my prayers.
Remember that God is everywhere, He cares for your daughter, Son in Law, and unborn child even more than you do. If they are following his lead then they are in the safest place they can be. Does this assure that nothing will happen? Of course there can be no guarantee. The world is full of evil, but God will be with them and with you to help you through every day. I know that you are scared. Cling to God and trust that He leads His Children. Really read and reread Psalm 23. Be comforted

lacuran8626 · Apr 17, 2007, 01:06 PM

I think it's irresponsible of your daughter to go, and selfish to put your family through the distress. There are many ways to serve God, and when possible I feel it should be done in a way that does not create new hardships for others, as your daughter's choice is clearly doing.

One of God's rules that I recall from the 10 commandments is to honor our parents - part of honoring our parents is to spare them unnecessary worry. And yes, we still need to respect their feelings when we are ourselves adults.

However, you cannot ground her or stop her from going so, as you've stated your feelings, just hope and pray for the best and try to focus on the positive. In all likelihood everything will work out fine.

Perhaps in the future, when she's returned home and the baby is fine, you can better explain how you feel as a mother - perhaps being one herself will be the one thing that will better teach her how upsetting her decision has been for you.

krittengirl · Apr 17, 2007, 01:37 PM

How can lacuran8626 say that it is irresponsible for her to go? There is no honoring your parents if you disobey God, in fact Disobeying God's lead is dishonoring your parents. In Luke 14:26 the Bible says"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple" This is saying that in comparison to the Love we have for God should be so much that it is as if nothing else matters. A follower of Christ should not put even his family above obedience to Christ.
From what you have told us, Your daughter believes that she is where God wants her to be. You should be immensely proud of her. I pray that my children grow up to be willing to obey God, no matter what.

Mobea · Jun 7, 2007, 03:43 PM

One week before she was suppose to leave, she had 2 major seizures. Which now puts her and the baby at very high risk. So she stayed home and her husband went on. Please pray for his safe return.

Tootruetooblue · Jun 15, 2007, 02:50 PM

I know this is an old post but just a thought anyway - we sometimes act in anger when what we feel is concern, fear, worry, love - how about speaknig from those places? It's a lot less confrontational to share those genuine feelings and ask questions instead of making demands.