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Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 04:16 AM

Hello,
I don't know much about how the whole sueing process work but recently I been so devastated and humiliated in front of my friends and local bystanders that are waiting in line. The manager of that nightclub pulled me to the side where many people can see us and hear us. He directly told me that since my i.d states I'm male I have to use the mens restroom while be watched by 2 securities. Not only that he also blurted me out to many people around that " I am a man" on purpose to expose me. I was so upset and left the club crying why I was being treated like some kind of a freak. I been living as a full time woman since 2009 and nearly 4 months on HRT also never in my life gone to the mens bathroom since then.

ScottGem · Mar 1, 2015, 04:28 AM

First, I moved this from the Support forum which is for questions about using this site. Please be more careful in choosing a forum in the future.

Second, anyone can file suit about anything. The real question is whether you can win. You may have a case here though I have my doubts. While you may have been embarrassed you didn't really suffer monetary loss. And I'm not sure whether what happened is actually illegal. Transgender discrimination is still questionable.

You need to consult an attorney in your area to check the viability of your case. I would start with your local ACLU chapter. This is the kind if case they would take on.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 1, 2015, 06:42 AM

You were merely required to use the bathroom of your legal sex. I would see more rights of women to sue, if they had allowed you to use the women's bathroom.

Wishing to live a certain life style is not a protected right.

joypulv · Mar 1, 2015, 05:41 PM

I would have thought that California would allow you to get a license as a woman by now, and this wouldn't happen.
It seems to me that you aren't considering all the women who might be afraid of a man in drag who goes to nightclubs and accosts or spies on women in the women's room. Those women have rights too.
And that club may have had a problem with this already.

I will never forget sitting on a toilet at least 35 years ago and seeing someone in huge men's workboots in the next stall, STANDING facing my stall. I didn't have time to run, so I screamed.
Sure, I know you look feminine now, I'm sure, but that's beside the point.

So what IS the procedure for getting your license changed?

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 08:26 PM

Im not a dragqueen😒. There is a big difference from drag and transgender woman. What the manager did was so wrong and violated my cilvil rights as a transgender woman. He outed me in public view and who knows I could be attack out of a hate crime that night. Of course being on hormones totally made me even more vulnerable to stress and depression and that night surely brought back all the horror I gone through which got me sick the next day. This is an unforgivable act againts transgender people.

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 08:32 PM

The producer to get my lic and gender change can take up to 3 months. Filling out a lot of paper work and to turn it in the court and be given a court date. Get my doctor to sign some paper work and whenever I receive my legal name change in the mail I go directly to the social security office and dmv and show them the documents to change my info.

smoothy · Mar 1, 2015, 08:32 PM

If you still have the dangly bits between your legs... you are Still a man.

But do you know what...lifes rough...you can't sue everyone that upsets you, everytime they upset you. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and put up with it. EVERYONE, has to deal with that in life.

J_9 · Mar 1, 2015, 08:44 PM

You are legally a man. Maybe not mentally, but physically, you are a man. Therefore, you are legally to use a men's restroom. I understand your feelings as I have a transgendered family member. She is the opposite of you though, she is a woman trying to become a man, and she uses the women's restroom until that time comes.

I'm sorry. Although it was embarrassing, you are physically and legally a man.

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 08:58 PM

Im a woman now. I have everything a woman needs to be define as a woman except downstairs which well come in the future. How well a transgender woman feel to be told to only use the mens restroom with other men who could had been transphobic and attack me or even try to kill me just because I was different. How it feels to be watched in the club by strangers checking up on you without any sort of privacy. Have you checked the news that already 7 transgender people been kill in 2015 and 2015 just started. I could had been number 8 and the way the manager was talking to me is extremely rude in his manner and really upsetted me in ways no one want to go through. I been to many straight clubs without this problem except this one who clearly discriminate you on then spot.

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 09:04 PM

Its basically saying they label transgender people like wild rat test subject. Needed to be survillance 24'7 while in the club. Waiting to see what would happen to them until something did happen and it be already too late. I'm sorry but last time I check I'm a human being and not some lab test animal.

J_9 · Mar 1, 2015, 09:07 PM

You have a penis. You are a man. Much like my family member, he has a vagina, he is a woman.

If you were legally a woman, you would have the ID to prove it. Since your ID identifies you as a man you cannot use the women's restroom.

I do understand you were embarrassed and humiliated. I get it. I really do, and I relate. However, you don't have a lawsuit. This bouncer was inconsiderate and rude. But that doesn't take away from the fact that you are legally a man as established by your ID.

You are in "catch 22" portion of the transformation. You are a woman, but because you still have your penis, you are legally a man.

smoothy · Mar 1, 2015, 09:35 PM

Go through life looking to find trouble... you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams.

Want to be happy.. learn to ignore or put up with most of lifes annoyances, Just as certain as death and taxes... you are going to find a LOT of people that don't view life as you do... no matter HOW that is.. Also, the more you push people... the harder they want to push you back, if you see the point I'm making. That applies equally to EVERYONE. Not to a select few.

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 09:40 PM

Yes I do get it that I still have that part. That does not give them the right to bash me out in public where people can overhear us. They put me at risk of getting beaten or even killed. Is that OK to be outted in public view so you can be a target? I don't think so. Then question is why they would ask me to ask them first to use the restroom and even escort me while I do my business. Where my privacy? Is not that I would go to the woman's room and show off my junk to random females. They pretty assume that I would.

Kmeow22 · Mar 1, 2015, 09:56 PM

Like I said before, 7 transgender sister died from suicide and some been murder in 2015. What they did could had well put my name next to theirs. Is that okay for them to out me me like? Is it okay one less transgender woman to be erased from the world? In their eyes highly suggest so without consequences of their actions. I will not tolerate their inappropriate behavoir handling this situation. They could had left it as is and we wouldn't have this situation.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 1, 2015, 10:12 PM

Those that died of suicide where their choices, sorry, but life has pressure,

You asked about a law suit, and I am sorry that it has ( but you help drag it (no pun) to issues about life style choices.

At this point, there is no basis for a discrimination law suit, even in California. It is perfectly legal to discriminate against people, unless it is for a protected right. You were not denied a job because of sex or even sexual preference, ( I believe allowed in California) You were merely forced to use the proper bathroom, and I will assume became a about it, which most likely involved a yelling match between you and the staff. *** I am doing some assuming, from the attitude I see in your posts.

People have to live with the choices they make, you would have know it was not easy and not completely acceptable to follow the path you are going.

I would also even wonder why and how the staff got involved in your bathroom choice, unless you asked. Once in a club, it is crowded, many people going to the bathroom, so they guarded the bathroom door?

ScottGem · Mar 2, 2015, 06:36 AM

The bottom line here is that regardless of your legal status, the person at the nightclub could have been more discreet. And that is the ONLY basis of a lawsuit that you have. Legally they were within their rights to restrict you to the men's facility.

However, not having witnessed what occurred, I do not know if what happened and what you suffered is sufficient grounds for a lawsuit. That's why you need to discuss it with an attorney who can better advise you of the potential for success. Again, I suggest starting with the ACLU as this is their bread and butter.

talaniman · Mar 2, 2015, 06:51 AM

How much do you think your hurt feelings are worth?

Cat1864 · Mar 2, 2015, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by Kmeow22

Hello,
I don't know much about how the whole sueing process work but recently I been so devastated and humiliated in front of my friends and local bystanders that are waiting in line. The manager of that nightclub pulled me to the side where many people can see us and hear us. He directly told me that since my i.d states I'm male I have to use the mens restroom while be watched by 2 securities. Not only that he also blurted me out to many people around that " I am a man" on purpose to expose me. I was so upset and left the club crying why I was being treated like some kind of a freak. I been living as a full time woman since 2009 and nearly 4 months on HRT also never in my life gone to the mens bathroom since then.

Where did this happen? I know you have your location listed as Sacramento, Ca. but is that where it happened? Was this your first time visiting this club? Is it a night club known for having problems? How did you choose to go to it? Did your friends leave with you? Did they hear the manager? If so, would they be willing to testify on your behalf?

Would you have wanted him to take you to a dark corner or ally out of sight of others to make the 'rules' clear? Did you leave immediately after the manager gave you the 'rules' or did you discuss it with your friends first?

Do you know for a fact that other people heard him or do you think people could have over-heard? Did he address other people and 'tell' them that you are a male or was he responding to you and something you said? How did you handle yourself? Were you calm or did you get loud? You were admittedly upset so the question has to be asked if you might be remembering things slightly differently than they occurred?

Have you contacted a lawyer? If not, contact lawyers in your area and ask them if you have a lawsuit for discrimination. Are you ready for the publicity that suing would bring? Which do you value more, your privacy or getting back at the club?

joypulv · Mar 2, 2015, 08:15 AM

You totally misunderstood what I said, and responded that you are not a drag queen. I SAID WOMEN HAVE RIGHTS TOO, IN CASE MEN DRESS UP AS WOMEN IN ORDER TO USE THE WOMEN'S ROOM!!!
Their rights supercede yours for the time being, because you aren't 'done' being male yet, not officially.

Sheesh. You are so into yourself it isn't funny. If you have so many fears, then WAIT for your final documentation to get your gender changed on gov't ID and so on, and stay away from clubs you aren't familiar with.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 2, 2015, 08:17 AM

He blurted out "your a man" which is a true fact, What did he say that was a lie, what did he say that was false. If you are a man, and in my business (when I had one in America) you would be required to use the mens restroom, and the mens locker room. If you refused you would have been ejected from my business.