[alanad123]

My boyfriend of 2 years and I were having a conversation earlier and for a while now I've been feeling quite lonely in his company. I told him how I felt and now he has this thought in his head that I've done something behind his back, I love him more that anything and I would never do anything like that, as much as I've told him and reassured him that nothing has or would ever happen he just can't get the thought out of his head, now I'm afraid I'm going to lose him because of this, what should I do?

[DoulaLC]

Trust and open communication is very important in a relationship if it is going to grow and survive. There isn't much more that you can do if he simply isn't going to believe you when you tell him nothing has, or will, happen. I'm not sure what you may have said that could cause him to wonder if you were simply sharing that you have felt lonely lately and would like to spend more time with him?

If you were to loose him over this, then it would be due to his insecurities and with that all you can do is offer reassurance. However, you can't be expected to have to do so constantly to try and ease his mind. Give him some time, don't mention it again, and just plan things to do together. Hopefully it will just be a passing thing for him.

[odinn7]

Let him go. If he has no REAL reason to suspect you of cheating other than what you have said here, he isn't worth your time. You should NOT HAVE to prove that you didn't cheat simply because he thinks you did. That is the thought pattern of an insecure or possibly even a controlling man. You don't have to justify yourself to him because he has a weak mind. Seriously...this probably isn't going to get better.

[Oliver2011]

Agree with Odinn. But that's nothing new. Tell him once he can get through middle school you will consider taking him back. Well assuming you both are out of middle school. It's totally an immature game he's playing.

[Alty]

I agree with Odinn too. If he suspect you of cheating when you haven't, and he won't let it go, what will he try to control next?

I'd tell him "Either you believe me or you don't. Make up your mind! I haven't cheated, and I'm not going to bend over backwards to prove I didn't. If you love me you'll believe the truth I'm telling you and stop torturing me for something I didn't do! If you don't believe me than maybe you're just not worthy of having me in your life, because obviously you don't trust me, and without trust there can't be love, so I'm wasting my time!

[talaniman]

You are so afraid of losing him that you take any crap he puts down? That's a great way to keep a guy, but lose your own dignity, and self respect.

Obviously he has lost respect for you. Think about it.

[alanad123]

I work Monday-Friday and get weekends off, he works too but his days change, sometimes he works weekends as well, when I go to his house after he's been working I get that he wants to relax and do what he wants but he hardly even acknowledges me when I'm there, I end up sitting alone most of the night, I try to get his attention, I try to start conversations but nothing seems to work, which is why I've been feeling so lonely

[J_9]

Doesn't sound like a fulfilling relationship, does it? Why do you stay? Don't you think you deserve to be happy?

[alanad123]

I know he loves me, and I love him more than anything and that's why I stay, when he does pay attention it's the best feeling in the world, I'm always smiling we're always making jokes, playing around, it makes me so happy, but when he doesn't when I'm with him, I miss him so much, I feel so guilty for that thought being in his head, I've never felt so horrible in my life, this is honestly killing me, knowing that he's thinking like this

[DoulaLC]

So when you are at his house do the two of you just sit there? How much acknowledgement do you need from him? Are you able to be content watching TV with him, or reading while he watches TV for example? Sometimes it can be enough just to be in the same room together... or at least it should be. If you feel totally ignored, that's a different situation.

Maybe when it seems to you that he is preoccupied, let him know that you can see he wants some time to himself and go home or make plans to do something with a friend.

If this has been ongoing enough, and you've tried talking to him about it, and you still don't feel that you are getting the attention that you want, or that it is not just a temporary lull in the relationship, you may have to decide whether the relationship has run its course.

[talaniman]

If his reaction to you being (maybe) needy emotionally, is to accuse you of cheating, then you better reevaluate both yourself, him, and the relationship, because you cannot make things better unless you do it together.

[odinn7]

I feel so guilty for that thought being in his head, I've never felt so horrible in my life, this is honestly killing me, knowing that he's thinking like this

Odd how you should feel guilty for this. You have done nothing wrong, correct? You have not cheated, right? Then why should YOU feel guilty for him thinking this? Sounds like he has you all kinds of messed up.

[Alty]

Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to odinn7 again.

Couldn't agree more. Why are you feeling guilty for something you didn't do, unless you did it and aren't being honest here, or to him?

Either you didn't cheat and he trusts you and loves you enough to believe you when you told him you didn't cheat, or he's an a$$hole that doesn't believe you when you told him that you didn't cheat, which means he doesn't trust you or love you, or you lied and you did cheat and he doesn't trust you because you're a liar.

[talaniman]

You should be mad as hell he questions your integrity. This is straight up manipulation.