[Packman6686]

I'm having a problem with this girl at my school. She's really someone special to me, but I just don't know what to do anymore. Here's the situation.

There's a girl at my school named Amber, and she is so cool. She's real, she's fun to just be around, and I think she's really cute. We've been friends for about a year now. I've really taken a liking to her and want to go with her to prom, but I don't know if I should ask her or not. She knows I like her, but she really doesn't know to what extent. She has another guy that she really likes, Mitch. Mitch and her have been friends since grade school. She really likes him, but he doesn't seem that into her. However, he knows that she likes him, and has been doing just enough to keep her thinking she still has a chance with him. Her friends have warned her of the situation. According to those same friends (whom I happen to be really good friends with), if it weren't for mitch, she would, and I quote, "probably want to date Justin"... that being me. The prom is in a month and a half, and I just don't know what to do. Things have been like this for at least 2 months, but I want to do something about it now. I really want to get this girl because I've never had a girlfriend before and I've had the best connection with her of any girl I've ever liked. I want this, even if she may not be "the one". I at least want to have the chance. Should I talk to her? Should I ask her to prom? Should I just move on? HELP!!

[always_learning]

What you have here is a fear of rejection. That is why you posted the message. You are afraid she will reject you.

In real life, people do reject other people.

Your imagined fear is far worse than the real fear of rejection. If you do not ask her out, it will prey on you for years. You will be left wondering whether she would have accepted you or not and why you settled for second best.

Go on, ask her. You might be pleasantly surprised that she has the same feelings for you too.

Let me know how it works out.

[Jogan2090]

always_learning is right.

I guess you can say that I've been in similar position, and there were times when I was right in front of the girl and before I could say something, there were always something in the way... It was frustrating for me, so now, there are days when I look back and wonder... If I had actually done it? What if I told her how I felt?

Now, I've been thinking that life is all about risks, it's how you choose them, and you'll always have probabilities and all that... mumbo jumbo... But, you never really know the outcome of it.. until you go for it. You'll be surprised.

So, take a chance, go for it. Just be yourself.

[Wildcat21]

It's a confidence game my man. Confidence. Practice in a mirror AND imagine her saying YES!! Get all the fear out of your head. She will say YES!

FEAR =

F = False

E = Emotions

(instead of)

A = Actual

R = Reality

FEAR is an fake emotion. Nothing to be afraid about. Be cool about this. It's acting. Think of one of your favorite TV stars or movie star - what he he do?? He would go in and close the deal. Just be cool about and act like it's no big deal - that if she actual said no, it wound not ruin you world.

[Packman6686]

Hey everybody thanks for your input. I called her up last night to ask her out, and indeed she said yes. I haven't stopped smiling in 24 hours, so thanks for all your input. Pray for us! :D

[Wildcat21]

See my man...

CONFIDENCE!! Use this the rest of your life!!

Good job!!

NOW - don't be needy clingy!! Don't call her every day. Keep YOUR life. Concentrate on school, sports, friends, family - trust me - she is not your life. Ok? She is a small part.

[fredg]

Hi,
Congratulations on asking her out.
That was a very, very big step, and I am so proud of you!
Treat her like a lady in every sense of the word, and she will like you.
Treat her with respect, and you will have a friend.

Best of luck,
fredg

[Jogan2090]

Awesome...

Way to go!

[Xaniz]

Wildcat is a God... I bet he stole my Chicktionary, any ways, That "what would a TV star do" best advice ever I think of Will Smith Playing on Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, Best Role-Model for dating