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    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 17, 2015, 10:52 AM
    I need help, I'm scared.
    Hi everyone. I'm having a weird situation at the moment with my boyfriend. For the past 2-3 weeks he has not been wanting sexual stuff with me because he said he's tired. So I kept asking everyday to see if he wouldn't keep telling me he's tired but.. same results, "I'm tired". So then I asked for a pic he even said no to that. So I kept wondering what's going on is he really that tired? And it made me keep questioning. It kept bothering me so much. And he usually come and talk to me around noon but I don't see him there anymore either. He says he's too busy during the day :/. He even comes home late now which is something he didn't use to do. I'm so scared and I even started asking God what's going on. I got a dream the following night and someone said and pointed at my boyfriend in the dream that I was wasting time with him. So I'm really scared you all. I love this guy deeply I just don't want to be taken for a fool.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 17, 2015, 11:02 AM
    How old are both of you and how long have you been dating?
    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 17, 2015, 11:05 AM
    We have been dating for a year. Im 17 and he's 20.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 17, 2015, 11:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by CandyJar14 View Post
    Hi everyone. I'm having a weird situation at the moment with my boyfriend. For the past 2-3 weeks he has not been wanting sexual stuff with me because he said he's tired. So I kept asking everyday to see if he wouldn't keep telling me he's tired but.. same results, "I'm tired". So then I asked for a pic he even said no to that. So I kept wondering what's going on is he really that tired? And it made me keep questioning. It kept bothering me so much. And he usually come and talk to me around noon but I don't see him there anymore either. He says he's too busy during the day :/. He even comes home late now which is something he didn't use to do. I'm so scared and I even started asking God what's going on. I got a dream the following night and someone said and pointed at my boyfriend in the dream that I was wasting time with him. So I'm really scared you all. I love this guy deeply I just don't want to be taken for a fool.
    I am sorry but we cannot and will not give sexual advice to someone under 18.

    That said, is the same male from August? The one you had been seeing for a month at that time? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...nd-798311.html
    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jan 17, 2015, 11:35 AM
    Yes It is.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Jan 17, 2015, 12:11 PM
    He sounds busy and tired. You sound like you have nothing to do, and needy.
    If he's not tired but is tired of the relationship, how would we know? Ask him if he wants to break up.
    What part of the world do you live in? How is it that a 17 year old girl is living with a much older guy?
    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jan 17, 2015, 12:13 PM
    Im not living with him. It's online dating.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #8

    Jan 17, 2015, 12:18 PM
    The "sexual stuff" has been only online?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #9

    Jan 17, 2015, 12:32 PM
    This is an online relationship?
    Maybe he has another Online buddy. Have you ever met this guy? He could be a lot older and married even. Why have you carried on with this for so long.
    Have a real relationship with someone you can see. This is craziness.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #10

    Jan 17, 2015, 12:35 PM
    Oh silly me. That's why you asked for a picture of his hand. I'm in the wrong generation.
    Kezzy5's Avatar
    Kezzy5 Posts: 212, Reputation: 4
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    #11

    Jan 17, 2015, 01:47 PM
    My advice is to have someone near more your age because I was talking and seeing this guy from the age of 14 to my current age now 16 and he was 20-22 and he messed my head up so much he knew how to play me and how to make me feel like it was my fault and I know you haven't said that this is happening but it could and it won't work being an online relationship not judging you or anything but you deserve better and how do you know he that age he is saying. I'm not saying I'm some Saint because I'm not but he hurt me a lot and still does because he still manages to make my heart sink even know I know he is a that messes my head up so I try to ignore him. But don't let yourself get to that stage it more concerning that it an online relationship because he could be anyone. I would be careful.
    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 17, 2015, 01:58 PM
    He does make me feel like everything is my fault and my physical state can't take pressure anymore that my heart has been stopping at times and then continues. He says I'm the cause the relationship is going downhill even though I make sure he stays happy. I do everything for him but now I feel like throwing up seriously because not only is my emotions being affected but my health is too. I just wish he care more...
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #13

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:01 PM
    ONLINE relationships are a fantasy world! You sound very, very naive for your age. Go out with friends and have fun and learn about REAL LIFE!!!!
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #14

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:04 PM
    You can't make him care more but what you can do is wake up and realize that this is not a healthy relationship for you. You can tell him it's over and move on and find someone that will treat you better. There is nothing we can tell you that will help this relationship. He is a lost cause and the more time and effort you put into this will be more time and effort that you simply waste while you make yourself sick over it.

    Dump him. It's only an online relationship...you will be so much better off in the long run without dealing with this.
    Kezzy5's Avatar
    Kezzy5 Posts: 212, Reputation: 4
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    #15

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:04 PM
    In in the same situation as you but it not online, and I know it is hard and I'm not sure what to ever but the best I prob can give is follow your heart? Although I'm not sure what my heart is saying though but you might
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #16

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:13 PM
    Kezzy...Nice that you're trying to help but...it seems odd that you would be giving advice to this person when you have a similar problem that you have asked your own question about. Not a good idea to try to advise someone of something when you, yourself don't know what to do in a similar spot. Know what I mean?
    Kezzy5's Avatar
    Kezzy5 Posts: 212, Reputation: 4
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    #17

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:17 PM
    Yeah thanks and your right, and sorry I wouldn't listen to me, listen to the people who have more experience is more mature and knows what to expect in a relationship and what is right in a relationship.
    CandyJar14's Avatar
    CandyJar14 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:18 PM
    Thanks Kezz and the rest of everyone who's helping me.
    Thinkaboutit's Avatar
    Thinkaboutit Posts: 270, Reputation: 5
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    #19

    Jan 17, 2015, 02:33 PM
    I'm a bit younger than you so I might think different, but if your dating someone then your suppose to enjoy spending time together its not suppose to be you trying to do things to make him happy but doing things you both enjoy. If he makes you fee like it all your fault the relationship sucks and its stressing you out so much that your getting sick what's the point. He obviously doesn't seem to care too much, he's spending less time on the computer with you. Stop worrying about it ring your friends go out, go to the movies or out to eat or just chat. Do something for you!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #20

    Jan 17, 2015, 06:10 PM
    You need a life that you enjoy without him. You call this love? I call it looking for love in the wrong place, with the wrong person, the wrong way.

    Where is the love? I don't see it, or it making you happy. Matter of fact, you sound desperate and miserable.

    Sorry to be so harsh, but damn girl this is really bad. Find something better to do away from the computer with some real people.

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