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5softball5 · Jan 7, 2015, 05:57 PM

My boyfriend broke up with me and we have been together for 5 months and we have kissed before and slow danced together. I really like him and I didn't see him over the Christmas holidays for 2 weeks and then at school he ask me if we could just be friends. I was so upset. He won't tell me why he broke up with me and I feel like its my fault. He always stares at me and hangs out around me when ever he can and I don't know if he still likes me or not. We have been through so much together.

My parents made us break up but we secretly dated cause we thought we were in love, but I was wrong. I dont see him for 2 weeks and then when then the first time I see him him he asked to be friends. Not the type of greeting I was expecting from him considering he begged me to get back together when my parents broke us up and he said he loved.

I don't know why he wont tell me why he broke up with me.

ScottGem · Jan 7, 2015, 06:12 PM

How old are you?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 7, 2015, 06:22 PM

5 months is not a long time and I'm assuming you both are in your early teens.
Maybe he met someone over Christmas break, maybe he realized he was not as in love with you as he thought.
Regardless he broke up with you and you need to move on.

talaniman · Jan 7, 2015, 06:39 PM

He was probably tired of the secret dating and running the risk of you both getting in big trouble by disobeying your parents.

5softball5 · Jan 7, 2015, 07:43 PM

I'm 21 and in college I play softball and he was fine with secretly dating he is the one who suggested it. And we have known each other since gr.7 and we dated then to but we thought we to young so we waited until we were abit older.

5softball5 · Jan 7, 2015, 07:53 PM

I will get over him

catonsville · Jan 7, 2015, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by 5softball5

I'm 21 and in college I play softball and he was fine with secretly dating he is the one who suggested it. And we have known each other since gr.7 and we dated then to but we thought we to young so we waited until we were abit older.

It appears you have struck out. He does not have to tell you why he broke up with you, he just did and more than likely he has a new player on his team. Like has been said, move on. You may wait a while, before Mr. Right joins your team. All is not lost just this inning.

talaniman · Jan 7, 2015, 08:34 PM

He changed his mind, that happens all the time, but glad you can move beyond this. Still sucks though.

Oliver2011 · Jan 7, 2015, 09:59 PM

5 months is not a huge investment. Move on. Find someone who wants more.

Precious7 · Jan 7, 2015, 10:07 PM

I agree with others and if you see this in a different perspective it has very important lesson to teach us, thank God that he just kissed and danced and said lets be friends. Some people out there are just waiting for girls, to dance, kiss and then have sex and then they say lets be friends. Haa! Be careful for your next relationship. He should really love you, not just feel like he loves you. :)

5softball5 · Jan 8, 2015, 05:02 AM

Thx guys this is really helpful

5softball5 · Jan 8, 2015, 05:19 AM

my ex-boyfriends best friend is hanging around me alot lately and telling me that im cute smart and beautiful and i think he likes me but i dont like him in that way. i just want to be friends with everyone at the moment and i think i shouldnt date my ex-boyfriends best friend cause thta would probably ruin their friendship. im so confused. and now my boyfriend keeps hanging around me and when i catch him staring at me he looks away and then askes me why i was staring at him. boys are so compicated.

ScottGem · Jan 8, 2015, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by 5softball5

I'm 21 and in college

That surprised me. I'm curious as to why your parents broke it up? At 21 you are entitled to date whomever you want. Parents can voice their objections but should not control this.

Originally Posted by 5softball5

he was fine with secretly dating he is the one who suggested it

On the other hand, this is not a guy you want to be with. Any guy that would suggest that you go behind your parents backs is not a good guy.

But I agree with the others, 5 months is not a long time to invest in a relationship, especially not one to be heart broken over a breakup.

Originally Posted by 5softball5

my ex-boyfriends best friend is hanging around me alot...

Are you sure you are 21? The behavior you are describing is much more typical of 13-14 yr olds, not college students. This is rather immature behavior.

Just tell them that you want to take a break from relationships and you will let them know when that ends.

talaniman · Jan 8, 2015, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by 5softball5

my ex-boyfriends best friend is hanging around me alot lately and telling me that im cute smart and beautiful and i think he likes me but i dont like him in that way. i just want to be friends with everyone at the moment and i think i shouldnt date my ex-boyfriends best friend cause thta would probably ruin their friendship. im so confused. and now my boyfriend keeps hanging around me and when i catch him staring at me he looks away and then askes me why i was staring at him. boys are so compicated.

Maybe he likes you and wants a date, and maybe he doesn't, never assume one way or another. Time will reveal more fact and since this last dating adventure is so fresh it really doesn't matter what the attentions and motives of others is. All that matters is what you do for yourself.

Right now I highly suggest a proper healing time, then make the right adjustments to move beyond the last experience, as you prepare for the next one (there is always a next one). That does take time and in time you will feel better.

Be good to yourself. Try NOT to overthink or dwell on the past experience, while you let yourself learn from it. The present feelings will slowly fade if you engage your life and put those feelings behind you. We all get our hearts broken in love, and romance, some many times, but we cope and learn to thrive and survive and grow better for the experiences of our own heart.

Some cope better than others, so don't be stuck on your own hurts. You will heal.

5softball5 · Jan 8, 2015, 06:58 AM

He was my first boyfriend so I didn't really know how to react to this but he was a jerk and I am getting over him

J_9 · Jan 8, 2015, 07:12 AM

Jaden, how old are you?

5softball5 · Jan 8, 2015, 08:47 AM

I'm 13 turning 14

I only lied cause I don't usually put real info on the internet

J_9 · Jan 8, 2015, 08:54 AM

If you don't like to put "real info" on the internet what does your profile have your real name?

Just like your parents, we don't take lying lightly. Lying is wrong in any shape or form. How can we believe you now? Even when you tell us the truth? You have lied to us once, most likely you will lie to us again.

Oh, and by the way, it was obvious that you were 13. That's why I asked your age again. You are too young and immature for boys. Concentrate on school.

5softball5 · Jan 8, 2015, 09:00 AM

Your. Right I shouldn't lie and I should focus on school and I will
I swear I won't lie cause I have learned my lesson. I don't have a good life and my real name is Jaden I swear and I do play rep softball

ScottGem · Jan 8, 2015, 09:01 AM

That's more like it. Since your user name is anonymous enough, there is no reason to hide your age. And, especially in your situation, your age is important in how we respond with advice. As you can see our answers will be different to a 21 yr old then to a 13 yr old. And it was easy to tell from your postings that you were lying. But I'll give you a pass since it is smart to be careful about what info you give online.

So the first thing I want to say to you is you need to listen to your parents and NOT do things behind their backs. I suspect the reason they broke you two up is they don't want you dating so young. And they would be right. To go behind their back will tell them you are not trustworthy and may make it even longer before they let you date.

Second, you will probably be "heart broken" several times in your life. It is one of the reasons you are too young for this. At this age it will pass quickly, though.

You have your softball to concentrate on. If you are serious about going out for your national team, then you need to spend a lot of time on it. And you can tell your parents from me, that while you may not make the team, it's a good goal to set and they shouldn't discourage you.