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    aspen73's Avatar
    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #21

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:00 AM
    Honestly, if one of my children was 18, and met a mature and thoughtful older person for a temporary relationship, I am fine with that. And also honestly, this particular 18 year old, I would be happy if my currently 13 year old dated, when she is 18. He is that thoughtful, knowledgeable, gentle, and willing to please. My youthful experiences were with men who didn't know what they were doing, and who made me feel like something was wrong with me because I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have or enjoy sex through much of my 20s because of the negative experiences I had starting (I lost my virginity at 17). I hope that my daughter and son find someone (s) of any age to explore, learn, and gain sexual enjoyment and confidence with, at the appropriate time for them.

    And DoulaLC, you are partly correct. It isn't ego exactly, but definitely validation. My divorce devastated me. He was the love of my life. I won't go into details, but I lost myself. I was with him over 17 years, and completely faithful. Before him, like I said, I had no good sexual experiences. So this last year has been one of rebounds, desperate hookups to keep from being alone, a long distance "friendship" with a 26 year old man in Denver (who I visited, and let me tell you, very 50 shades of grey, and we still talk on the phone almost every day), and much sexual exploration and discovery. The next step for me is to learn to be happy alone and to have a relationship with myself. I am not sure when this thing with the 18 year old will end, possibly this weekend, but when it does I am finally ready for this next phase which I believe will take me most of 2015. Then, and only then, will I be ready to have a real relationship, for the right reasons, with the right person. Whatever age he might be, ;)

    I think it is good for all women to have their sexual secrets to think back on when they are old and grey, and I certainly will have mine. I appreciate everyone's feedback, supportive and critical. It all helped.
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    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #22

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:08 AM
    As I said, you certainly aren't the first to go through such an experience. I am happy to hear that you are healing, learning about yourself, and finding validation for yourself. It's a journey you wouldn't wish on anyone (at least the catalyst for it) but as you have found, it does get better and you do come out the other side stronger and wiser... and I have no doubt that you will continue to do so. I wish you well.
    aspen73's Avatar
    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #23

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:11 AM
    Thanks everyone.
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    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #24

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:29 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by aspen73 View Post
    I think it is good for all women to have their sexual secrets to think back on when they are old and grey, and I certainly will have mine. I appreciate everyone's feedback, supportive and critical. It all helped.
    I am gray, but not throwing in the towel yet; at least my libido isn't! And yes, I have some great memories and intend to accumulate some more ! :)

    Go for it girl !
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    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #25

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:44 AM
    Lol, I didn't mean to suggest that the sexual adventures are over when one starts to grey! I plan on dating 40 year olds when I'm 70. I know, sick!
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #26

    Jan 1, 2015, 09:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by aspen73 View Post
    Lol, I didn't mean to suggest that the sexual adventures are over when one starts to grey! I plan on dating 40 year olds when I'm 70. I know, sick!
    Relax, I know what you meant ! I am a pretty good 73 and I find that men in their 70s just want to sit around the fireplace. I date 65 year old men. Women in their 70s nowadays are much more vibrant, still working like me and just used to living good.
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    aspen73 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #27

    Jan 1, 2015, 10:02 AM
    The older seem younger and the younger seem older. I'm going to enjoy the next 30-40-50 years! :)

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