[luvabubble]

Hey all, I am 18 and my boyfriend is 19, and we have been going out on and off since I was 8. between I have dated two other people and my boyfriend hadn't gone out with any girl besides me, which makes him a virgin. This time being out 4th time going out, we have fallen more and more in love, and our reltationship is one of the bests in the world with so much love and trust and emotion etc... thought when we stayed in a hotel and when we stayed at his house together when his folks went on holidays, him and I would get intimate and kiss and penetrate each other with clothes on though its weird that I manage to take all of his clothes off, and he gets hard and excited as normal, thought he doesn't budge at trying to take my clothes off and when I tell him that I want to make love he says that he can't do that to me and that he has too much respect for me.. this is where I'm confused, as his body physically wants to sleep with me though mentally he rejects me and says its for my own good, I am happy that he respects me I just want to know why he's delaying it especially that we've known each other for ten years now.
I love him so much that id like to have that special moment with him and it upsets me that he feels like he can't do it even though I want him too.

:confused: :confused: :confused:

Please I really need all the advice I can get from both guys and girls

[oregonshon]

Well he either wants to wait until marriage or he just is not ready to take that step and you really do not want to push him or you might drive him away. Take it slow let him advance at the pace he is capable of or the pressure could drive him away from your relationship. Be patient hon, really give him the time.

It is good to have open communication about this so don't pressure him so much he closes off.

There are always other ways you could seduce him and drive him so crazy he cannot help but ravage you.

[alkalineangel]

I agree, you are both young and he probably is just not ready yet. He is most likely fighting a battle in his head, haha.. but I really think he is just not ready. He probably feels that he will be inadequate or just uncomfortable in general just because it is his first time. I feel if it was the marriage thing, he would just come out and say it... Give him some time, his hormones will eventaully get the better of him...

On another hand, you are both young, and maybe he has the right idea in waiting. No contraception is 100% effective, and pregnancy is always a possibility. Now Im not a believer in "no sex until marriage" or anything, Im a firm believer in getting your feet wet, if it is a loving and mature relationship, but you need to make sure beforehand that you are financially and emotionally ready for a child if it should happen. Good luck, give him some time, and don't worry too much..

[johnny-b-good]

Well I think that it is cool that he is doing that because he respect s and plus, maybe he wants to save himself for you when you guy get married.

[talaniman]

He is not ready, and you should respect that.

[Jessyfay]

WOW! You're a lucky girl to have someone like him and I hope you respect him back enough to wait until he is ready to take the next step. Sex is a HUGE step towards adulthood and maybe he wants to experience alternate things, because you only lose your virginity once. Our relationships are different when sex is involved. I remember the inticipation and curiosity and suspence of what sex would be like and I'll never get to feel that again. So let him enjoy it and give him time.

[Fr_Chuck]

It sounds like he understands how special and important sex is, and does not want to do it, until the time is right.

There are still many people who believe sex is for when you are married, and others till at least you are engaged.

[luvabubble]

I also forgot to mention that I originally told my boyfriend that I didn't want to get too serious so early in this relationship so maybe that has something to do with it ans another question:

How do I make him chase me and how do I make myself kind of like a virgin again... I want him to know that after everything that has happened I don't want to have sex but I know in the moment I won't be able to say no.. Help

[luvabubble]

My boyfriend and I are quite young and he doesn't want to have sex out of respect of me because earlier on I said I wanted to wait, we were in a situation where I wanted to and he said no to me and now its made me not want to have sex even more.. I still want to be close and intimate with him and romantic but I don't want to have sex and neither does he because having sex would be kind of akward because we've known and dated each other since I was 8... long time I know.. I've had boyfriends in between and he hasn't because he's never stopped loving me... this makes me feel very emotionally attached to him but I want things to not be akward eventually so I figured if him and I do intimate things not involving sex, oral sex or anything sexual, we'd get more comfortable making the first time we have sex the perfect timing...

Help!

Guys and girls :confused:

[comfused teen]

Well first thing.
Have you hooked up?
Have you touched each other?
And do you love him or are you just attracted to him?

[luvabubble]

We have hooked up, we haven't really touched each other sexually though sometimes his hands do wonder on my back side and I love him and I've loved him since I was 8

[talaniman]

we have hooked up, we havnt really touched each other sexually though sometimes his hands do wonder on my back side and i love him and ive loved him since i was 8

According to your first post you've gone further than that, and remember an 8year olds' love is very different than a teen age love, which is different than a young adults. Respect his wishes as he respects you, and set boundaries to the intimacy. Talk and listen to each other as you find out where this love leads and its love or a strong attraction. Love is much more than sex. I will point out you've mentioned nothing but the physical part of this relationship, and none of the mental. Just something to think about.

[ScottGem]

this is where im confused, as his body physically wants to sleep with me though mentally he rejects me and says its for my own good, i am happy that he respects me i just want to know why he's delaying it especially that we've known each other for ten years now.

WHOA! I added the bolding above. Where the heck did you get that idea?? That he shows his respect and love for you is NOT rejecting you in any way.

You seem to have a confused attitude about sex. This is apparent in several of your posts here. You also contradict your account of how far you have gone. I've said before, that NO ONE should have sexual intecourse until they are physically, emotional and financially prepared to have a child. You sound like you have none of those.

Clearly you have had sex before, and maybe he is aware of that and that also intimidates him. I strongly suggest, that if you want this relationship to go further that you slow down. There are other ways you can slowly introduce him to things that will give both of you pleasure and intimacy. But do not push him on going all the way. Neither of you seem mature enough.

[comfused teen]

we have hooked up, we havnt really touched each other sexually though sometimes his hands do wonder on my back side and i love him and ive loved him since i was 8

Well from what I understant you do want to make love to him at this stage right ?
Right.
Say have tried to talk to him and ask him about his decision?
It doesn't sound like it:confused:

Ask him why he is intimidated by making love to you.
And if he would like to try something diffirent like syber sex or oral or something.
Well I hope I'm helping;)

Chow chow:cool:

[luvabubble]

Thank you guys so much for your help... well last night I asked him about it and he said that he's scared that sex will manipulate us. He believe that sex can take over your mind and make you think your in love but really you may just want the sex, and he told me he wanted more time before he has sex as he is afraid of losing me... so we both agreed that we are not going to have sex when we are in the moment and we said that we will talk about sex when we are both ready then have sex after that conversation but not before hand no matter how bad we both want to...

[luvabubble]

well from what i understant you do want to make love to him at this stage right ?
right.
say have tryed to talk to him and ask him about his decision?!
it dosent sound like it:confused:

ask him why he is intimidated by making love to you.
and if he would like to try something diffirent like syber sex or oral or somthing.
well i hope im helping;)

chow chow:cool:

And yes you did help so I thank you very much

[comfused teen]

and yes you did help so i thank you very much

I'm happy I helpd and I'm happy that you chose to do that I wrecon its very smart of you:D

Well have fun !

;)

[luvabubble]

im happy i helpd and im happy that you chose to do that i wrecon its very smart of you:D

well have fun !

;)

Thanks hun

Xx