[kat10436]

I have been going out with my first boyfriend for just over 4 months now and everything was going great-until yesterday. He had just got back from an amazing holiday apparently so I hadn't seen him in 1 week and had been really missing him. He rang me the day after he got back asking whether I wanted to come over but then somehow he managed to get us on the subject of us breaking up. He kept saying stuff like " One day we're going to break up you know" telling it me was obvious and of course we're not going to stay together because break ups always happen and one day we'll meet someone else. He even went on saying stuff like "Well you must look at other guys and think about going out with them" I said no but I'm worried why on earth he is saying all this stuff.

I then went to his house later on and he didn't even so much as hug me - we just burnt leaves in the garden - how romantic. Please help me someone, what is going on in his mind? Please I can't even talk to my mum about it because we fell out big style.

From very very very confused xxxx

[taintfair]

I know that 4 months seems like a long time to be going out with someone, but it's not all that long in reality. I'm not saying that you can't fall in love in 4 months, because you can fall in love in less time than that.

After 4 months of dating, he was gone for 1 week and came back talking about breaking up and dating other people. He didn't even hug you. I would guess that on his week away, something happened to make him doubt his relationship with you. I would venture to guess that someone gave him a different kind of attention than you do or he was attracted to someone else.

I would insist that he sits down and talks to me about our relationship. Find out what happened while he was away to make him doubt your relationship. Find out if what happened is a real threat to your relationsip. Just make sure you both have a discussion and let him know that what he said to you on the phone is bothering you. Maybe you are worrying for nothing. Ask him directly if he's found someone else. You deserve to know.

If you feel that he is going to break up with you, then you have to be strong and accept it. You will see that everything happens for a reason and there will be light at the end of the tunnel. You will probably find someone even better and wonder what you even saw in your current boyfriend.

[Jiser]

You have not wasted anything. If you don't take the key lessons learnt from your ex relationship then you come away with nothing. Do not regret.

Work on yourself, meet new people, spend time with your family and friends. Do refreshing new things, change your daily routine (if you have one), start new hobbies and you ever wanted to do something like travel? Well nows the time. Time heals.

[talaniman]

When you were burning leaves was the time for honest questions. You should find out what's up ASAP, and end the speculations.

[Bluerose]

It isn't 4 months wasted when you are willing to learn from every relationship you find yourself in - it all goes toward making you wiser.

[chuff]

If it's your first relationship (or your last for that matter) you were able to gain some knowledge about relationships. That will serve you well in the future so it was not a waste.