[alanad123]

Me and my boyfriend if 2 years were talking about each others friends and I curiously asked if he found any of my friends attractive and he mentioned that he always thought my best friend was attractive, before he asked me out he had such a huge crush on one of my other friends, since he mentioned my best friend my mind has been working overtime, now I'm feeling like a last resort since my other friend rejected him, I've been feeling so different about the whole relationship since this conversation, am I over thinking this whole thing or is my guy feeling right?

[J_9]

We don't know your boyfriend, nor do we know what his intentions toward you or your best friend are.

This is one of those situations where, if you are not prepared to hear the truth, you shouldn't ask the question. Just be thankful he was honest with you. He could have lied, then how would you feel when you found out he lied?

It might be good for you to work on your insecurities. Had you been secure with yourself and your relationship you wouldn't have had the need to ask this question.

[Wondergirl]

You're overthinking this. And don't ask him any more loaded questions, especially if you are going to have a problem with his answers. (And warn him to NEVER answer your loaded questions!)

[talaniman]

You asked a question and can't handle the answer? You freaked yourself out all the way to your gut. CHILL!

[alanad123]

I'm incredibly insecure about myself, and he's had the chance to be with girl who are a lot prettier than me and a lot more mature, I am mature but I still like to have a joke and stuff, I think he sees me as a bit childish at times but that's just my personality, I do anything to make him happy, I even change my appearance and my personality for him but that's my decision, he doesn't ask me to change but I always think I'm going to do something to screw up then he'll get fed up with me

I don't feel annoyed or angry about the answer he gave, just a bit insecure

[talaniman]

Try not to get carried away by the insecure thing, especially since you KNOW you are insecure.

[Wondergirl]

I'm incredibly insecure about myself, and he's had the chance to be with girl who are a lot prettier than me and a lot more mature, I am mature but I still like to have a joke and stuff, I think he sees me as a bit childish at times but that's just my personality, I do anything to make him happy, I even change my appearance and my personality for him but that's my decision, he doesn't ask me to change but I always think I'm going to do something to screw up then he'll get fed up with me

I don't feel annoyed or angry about the answer he gave, just a bit insecure

Then stop baiting him.

And don't EVER change who you are and what you look like to "make" a friend or boyfriend "happy."

[J_9]

How old are you?

[alanad123]

I've told him how I felt about his answer and I know I shouldn't have asked it in the first place but it was just curiosity, he explained to me that I wasn't last resort he was just really shy and scared to start anything up because my friend rejected him before and he thought I'd do the same, he's told me how he feels about me now and how his feelings have grown over the past 2 years

I'm 19

[Fr_Chuck]

Men (or boys) will find many women beautiful and hot. Sometimes the girlfriend they pick is not the most beautiful or the one who is really hot. They pick one they like. Next asking someone out, and being told no, does not mean he settled for less, it means he most likely asked dozens of girls out, and dated some perhaps

You asked a childish question, since you should know he may find all of your friends good looking.

You are over thinking this, and show insure and childish behavior.

I will agree is this Jr high ?

[DoulaLC]

Do you find other guys attractive? Ever see anyone better looking than your boyfriend? If so, would he have any reason to worry just because you might think someone else is attractive? Now turn that around to your situation and you might see that you are over thinking things.

[J_9]

One of my favorite sayings is "just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu." That means just because you are in a relationship, you can still looks at other people as you don't act on it.

A person may be good looking, it doesn't mean they have a beautiful heart or personality. Looks have nothing to do with how a relationship works. Rather, it's a coming together of personalities.

[Alty]

Your insecurity is the likely the very thing that will cause this relationship to end.

You think you're not pretty enough. Well, he picked you to date, so obviously he thinks you're pretty enough. He had the chance to be with prettier girls, but he didn't. He chose you!

It sounds like you believe that looks are the only thing a guy wants. Obviously not! Sadly, you're so insecure about everything that if I were a guy, even if you were drop dead gorgeous, I'd run the other way. I wouldn't be able to handle your constant second guessing, and insecurity. That's a major turn off. He'll get tired of dealing with that sooner or later.

You're your own worst enemy. Stop questioning why he's with you, stop trying to be something you're not to keep him. Realize that he's been with you for 2 years, because he wants to be! But damn girl, you're a lot of work, and if you keep this up, he may decide you're too much work! Stop trying to be something you're not, and stop questioning why he's with you! He chose you for a reason!

[alanad123]

I know that all guys have wondering eyes and it doesn't really bother me but it's the fact that he said it's my best friend when I really wasn't expecting it and it caught me off guard, I now know I'm over thinking everything, I always do, I need to stop being so insecure and overthinking, I trust him completely

[Wondergirl]

So things are back to normal now, and you won't do this sort of thing to yourself and to him again?

It's wandering eyes, not wondering eyes, btw.

[talaniman]

Actually WG, mens eyes do wonder, as they are wandering (nothing personal, just a biological function like farting). It has to do with the left/right brain correlation with the big head, and little head. Its rather complicated and traces back to our Martian ancestry. :D

It helps to understand this when a young male fails to see the need to give a proper answer to his young insecure female's loaded question.

"Yeah your best friend rejected me, but I upgraded to a far better female"

Thats all she wanted to know in the first place.

[Wondergirl]

As Wondergirl, I know a lot about wondering. Maybe men's eyes wonder as they wander?

[talaniman]

No maybe to it!

[alanad123]

We're back to normal now