[Hol99]

I'm 15 and my mother found out I had been sleeping with my 17 year old boyfriend, she found this by looking through 4 weeks of messages between us, she searches my room and has a tracker on my phone, everywhere I go my mum is there, she has not only violated mine but my boyfriends privacy, I can now not go to my boyfriends until I'm 16, I'm very unhappy at home, what do I do?

[J_9]

You follow your mother's rules. That is what you do. As long as you live under her roof you do what she says.

[Homegirl 50]

Deal with it. It's your mom's house and no doubt she pays for your phone.
I'm sure she does not want to see you 15 and pregnant.

[Hol99]

If you knew my mum you'd inderstand. I In fact work Saturdays and pay for my own phone, as I know she's searching my room do you think id be silly enough to hide anything in there?

[J_9]

She is responsible for you until you are 18. You follow the house rules.

[Hol99]

It will actually be 16, by the time I turn 16 I will be paying rent living with my grandparents, with no contact with my parents.

[Cat1864]

He is very lucky she hasn't involved the police. In many places 16 is the minimum age for a teen to give consent and many places still do not have a close in age statute.

Bottom line, she is your mother. She is responsible for you.

Do not sneak around behind her back if that is what you are thinking.

Do you think your grandparents will be okay with you having sex with your boyfriend? Do they know about this?

You might feel upset and unhappy now. It would be worse if you were here asking if you are pregnant.

[ScottGem]

Excuse me, but you betrayed her trust, by engaging in risky behavior (underage sex). I suspect that this was not the first time you have done so, which is probably why she is monitoring you more closely. You really are not going to get much sympathy here.

Where are you (general locale) that you think you can move out (even with grandparents) before you are 18? As far as I'm aware the age of majority is at least 18 almost everywhere. And do you think it will be easier with your grandparents? Do you think they will just allow you to do anything you want, like sleeping with your boyfriend?

[Fr_Chuck]

She is not violating your privacy. You have none. It seems you are not doing what your mother is saying and she has to try and control you.

[smoothy]

You are 15, you have no privacy or any right to privacy. When you are old enough to get a job, COMPLETELY support yourself, and pay to rent or buy your own place... THEN you get to have some privacy. But even then you don't have a complete all encompassing right to privacy.

You work one day a week to pay for your phone....bwaaaahahaha, that is so far from supporting yourself its actually funny.

[joypulv]

I don't think you are in the US? (Calling your mother mum is often an indication of the UK.)
Your age of consent, if that's true, is 16.
However, that doesn't trump the rules of living under someone's roof, in this case your mother's. You pay for your PHONE? That is one thousandth of what she spends on your support.
Sure, you can try living out on your own. Teens have no clue how hard that is.
Good luck - we were all teens once. We know what it's like to resent the lack of privacy. It will take years for you to understand what we are telling you now.

[talaniman]

Dependent teens have no privacy, not even at grandma's, and no responsible adult would let such a minor do whatever they want, with whomever they want, whether they were happy about the boundaries, restrictions or house rules, or NOT.

You are lucky your mom didn't call the cops and outright ban the boy from your life. Yes she does have that power, age of consent or NOT, even at grandma's house.

You may NOT be happy about it now, but in a few short years AND a good plan, you can make your own decisions and be responsible for the consequences of your own actions. Then choices like rent, phone and BIRTH CONTROL are all up to YOU.

Till then, suck it up and be a good girl and OBEY the rules. Where is your dad in all of this, and what makes you think grandpa will let his grand daughter cavort with some fella? You better get real.

[J_9]

If you knew my mum you'd inderstand.

Actually, if you knew your mum you ​would understand. She isn't finished raising you. She doesn't want the responsibility of raising your baby.

[Homegirl 50]

If you knew my mum you'd inderstand. I In fact work Saturdays and pay for my own phone, as I know she's searching my room do you think id be silly enough to hide anything in there?

Your mum is doing what mums do. She has every right to keep tabs on you. You are a minor and you live in her home.
Follow the rules until you are living on your own,
As far as violating your boyfriends privacy, he has none while he is sexing her 15 year old daughter.

[mmresd]

If she pays your bills then all you can do is accept it, especially since you are still a minor. Remember that she is doing this because she is worried about you, understand where she is coming from, take precautions, and follow her orders. Who knows, she might be right?

[dontknownuthin]

Your mom is running your life because you are making foolish, dangerous, life altering decisions like having sex at 15. If your grandparents are aware your plan is to move in with them to avoid the rules and behave foolishly, you won't be allowed to move there. And don't mistake paying them some rent as deserving independence. I'm sure you would rent a place in your browser an if you had the money. The grandparent deal is probably affordable because they are willing to absorb most of the cost and charge you very little.

[smoothy]

Working only one day a week a Doctor could not afford to pay rent, certainly not any job a 15 year old could manage to get. Few young people can afford rent working 5 days a week full time.

Tossing a tiny little token pittance to a relative for you to stay there is NOT paying the rent. Or Supporting yourself. You won't be paying anything like what a REAL rent would be much less room and board.

[DoulaLC]

You focus on school, and think about what you plan to do with your future. Will you go onto university? Spend more time with your friends.

Unless you turn 16 pretty soon, sadly it is very likely that your boyfriend will move on. You will see just how much he cares about you by whether he is willing to wait. If he does break up with you soon, consider yourself lucky, because you will know that he was with you more for the sex, than for a real relationship. Stay in contact through phone calls, texts, etc. and see how long it takes before he moves on to someone whom he can have sex with. It would be great if I am wrong, and the two of you continue to build your relationship without sex having to be involved.

Your mother could have pressed charges against him... she still could, because you are under age to even consent to having sex.

It hurts now, and it is frustrating, but there is just no way for you to fully understand what your mother is feeling. You are her child, her baby girl. She knows how much an unexpected pregnancy could cost you, and not just financially. She knows how risky it could be for your health, and she knows how likely it is that you would be greatly hurt if your boyfriend didn't stick around to help.

Unfortunately, no matter how much they may say otherwise, and how much you wouldn't want to believe it, most young men don't stick around. Most people dating in their teens aren't even with that person just a few years later.