[Oliver2011]

I agree with Joy, but I agree with Joy on 99.999999999% of things.

But to add it's not only that. It's when you see a behavior in you that brings about negative results, you have to force yourself into change so that you don't continue to get negative results. Too many people refuse that and continue the same patterns and behaviors. You have to be first honest with yourself if you need change in your life.

[talaniman]

I can only wish you luck with this online, long distance relationship, and hope you get a chance to actually date and really get to know each other before you get any deeper into an exclusive commitment. Until then expect many GREY areas to be worked through. Strangers/friends online have separate lives, and though you both seem willing to give this a try, fact is you have much more to learn about each other that can only be done up close and personal.

That's the only way either of you knows if your words, actions, feelings match, and you can build and work together, and not just TALK over the internet. Only time can tell if this experiment has any lasting hope or not, so don't be in such a hurry to think its all good going on.

The honeymoon hasn't even begun yet, its all talk, trial, and error. Yes this whole thing so far is a huge grey area.

[J_9]

This is a disaster! You had expectations that he was either not aware of, or was unwilling to fulfill. Because you had never met in person, he had no allegiance to you. The two of you were only "friends" until you met in June. And, still, at that time you were only really in the "getting to know you in person" phase of the relationship. It should never have been made exclusive.

And yesterday because he shared all his accounts with me, I said I'd dig around

A bit controlling? You have no right to his accounts any more than I do with my husband, who I have been with for 23 years. His accounts are his alone. Your accounts are yours.

You said you would "dig around." Basically that means you are going to snoop and be nosy.

[mmresd]

Be real. Stop having so much expectation out of an interaction that is just starting. You are asking the wrong questions, if you want a closed relationship then you can both talk about having that, until then don't expect loyalty.