[Pameesa]

Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl and yesterday I met someone at a party. He's 16 and he's a little shy and clumsy, what I like about him. :) I gave him my number and he asked me if I will go on a dubbeldate with him. Of course I said yes, but I'm a little scared, because I just met him and all my friends and his friends said that I should kiss him. But I never kissed someone before! And he is nice but I'm not in love with him. Like I said I just met him. His best friend is also going to be there and I think they expect that I'm going to kiss him. But what if I don't want to kiss him? I'm scared that they going to say that I'm ridiculous. It's like I'm stuck in a bad teen movie ore something. Can you help me?

[talaniman]

You can have a lot of fun getting to know someone without doing anything you are uncomfortable with. Just because others say to do something doesn't mean you have to, because you were not put on earth to please others, so just look out for yourself.

It's what you think that counts, not some other know nothing teen ager. When in doubt, ask mom. You can also explain this to the guy you like to date so he knows exactly what YOU think, and where you stand on ANY subject, not just kissing.

If he and others cannot respect you for what you think, then you don't need to please them, or let them influence you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Never do anything, you do not want to do.

Will he try to kiss you? Maybe, maybe try to hold hands?

But if you are not ready, just let him know, that you will have to know him better first.

As a note, yes many high school students kiss on the first date, but, many are not all,

[Homegirl 50]

You don't do anything you don't want to do and don't let others influence you to do something you are uncomfortable with. If he tries to kiss you, you just say "no I don't feel comfortable with that yet"

[dontknownuthin]

Most girls do not kiss on a first date. If he tries, just say confidently, "I don't kiss on a first date". If he tries on a second date or seventh, you can say, "sorry, I'm not at the kissing point with you yet. I'm conservative about these things".

Never kiss someone you don't want to kiss. It should not be expected by anyone. Some guys won't ask you out again if you don't, but good riddance! Boys like that just want to score with any random girl, and it is good to be able to know later, " I'm so glad I never kissed that immature jerk!"

If you have moral standards to wait until you are in love, or in an exclusive relationship, or just feel like it -- even if you want to wait until your wedding day -that is all normal too. It is very persinal decision. Kissing on a first date is not normal from my experience. Of course, if you have higher standards than your friends, you might want to seek out additional friends who share your upbringing and values.

Since I'm older, I asked my son, who is 19 and is popular with girls. He said he thinks a guy has got be a real jerk to try for a kiss on a first date, and that a great way to find a boyfriend instead of a hookup is to hold off on the physical stuff so the guys know you are worth working for and are strictly girlfriend material, not a cheap girl.

[catonsville]

You have to be happy with your decisions. Stand your ground and you will be able to find out what that boy is made of. All of the advice you have received above is worth more than what the boy and his friends think. A big difference in a real boyfriend and a scorer.

[Hyouka]

Hey, I'm 19, you can look at me as a messiah(or a psychopath :D). You should give guys a chance, but beware, there are many many players, whom just want to use you, don't be easy. Look for the answers within your heart, but never act on impulse, value love, look for a guy who will bring a smile to your face, someone who will love you for who you are and take care of you. True happiness comes not from money or looks, but from the guy itself, if you want to be happy now and later, look for a guy, who will do that, if he wants to get in your pants, send him nudes, or sext, soon after you've got to know each other, turn around, this will give you a moment of happiness, and a lifetime of shame, and scars

[Homegirl 50]

Hyouka this is a 15 year old asking about kissing a guy. All that other stuff does not apply to her.

[Hyouka]

Yeah I've got a lil' off topic. Kissing demonstrates your feelings, if you let every boy kiss you, your feeling aren't that special, and we all want someone special right? If a door can be opened by any key, that door is useless, right? :)