[Jdbery3]

Yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. He has been depressed lately, unable to deal with stresses of work, school, and a relationship, so he said he needed to break up. He wanted me to know he loved me and was not interested in other people. He also said he wanted to remain friends, and possibly get back together once he feels better about his life. What can I do to cope with this emotionally? We've been inseparable for a year and I am having a hard time dealing with it.

[talaniman]

Break ups suck, and everybody has a hard time dealing with them, especially if you are the one getting dumped. The only thing you can do is mourn the loss, and get on a healing track for yourself by regrouping with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy as the shock, and pain, becomes the past.

Please don't fall for that "we can be friends, and get together after I feel better" crap. Disappear from his life and build your own life. Its hard, and will take time, but you will be glad you did, and not just wait for someone to feel better, and take you back.

[Oliver2011]

"We've been inseparable for a year" - Well there's your issue. When you have a partner you still need to have your friends and your activities in your life. Those are your coping mechanisms that help you get through a breakup should a breakup happen. So many people make their partner their complete life and then when something happens, they are left with nothing. Call up some friends, exercise, keep your mind active - that will help you move your life forward.

[CravenMorhead]

If his way of coping with the stresses of life, and they don't get less the older you get, is to break off a relationship than this isn't a person you want to be with friends or otherwise. A good partnership supports and helps one another during these times, not runs away to deal with it alone. It is his way of saying that he wants to be alone without blame. Essentially he wants a no guilt break. I agree with the above saying that you should close that door, lock it, put it away, and never look back. This will be hard but it is the best, delete the Facebook, the e-mail, the phone, let him heal and let yourself heal.

A bit of wisdom, if in a relationship you take a break then there was a reason for the relationship to end and if you get back together, without addressing the issue that brought on the break, then it will happen again and again and again.

[Jake2008]

In a solid relationship, when one party or the other is experiencing a lot of stress, with work, and school, and the relationship itself, doesn't take off. A solid relationship is based on communication, and communication is the only way to work out problems that affect you both, regardless of who's problem it is.

This is a good indicator that your boyfriend is not mature enough, for a serious, committed relationship.

All relationships have problems with the stress factors in their lives, and their partners understand and help through the rough times. No relationship is without its very difficult times, far more serious that stress of work and school- what happens when there is a serious illness, or a death in the family.

I think it is safe to say that he took the back door, out of the relationship, and threw very thin reasons in there to get out of telling you straight up, that he wanted out. He's left you hanging in hope that because he says there isn't anyone else, and possibly remain friends, and maybe have you back in his life when he feels better about everything.

This is also a good indicator that your boyfriend is not mature enough for a serious committed relationship, and, that he wants his cake and eat it too.

So, while you wait, confused and not understanding what his motives are, or why he can't or couldn't have worked out any problems, with you, he tries to make himself look like the hero by not putting you through all the angst in his life, while at the same time, keeping you hooked to see how it all turns out.

So you have your life on hold, for someone who doesn't have courage, loyalty, honesty, or integrity, and he goes on his merry way thinking he's covered his bases, at least as long as it takes him to see if he might want you back again. Think about what you are getting back if it happens.

While you let him dictate your life, waiting, and hoping for some resolve, your life is going nowhere. Take away the excuses he gave you, that don't hold water, and let yourself dictate your status with him. Take control of your own life, don't wait around hoping he'll take you back (on his own terms), and instead, tell HIM that the relationship is over.

The day you let anyone manipulate you into a relationship, that isn't a relationship, is the day you need to give your head a shake, and move on.