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kate_joy22 · Sep 25, 2014, 04:11 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for just over three years. Recently (within the last two months) he has moved three hours away to finish schooling. It has been an extremely difficult transition for me, especially because I need quality time to really feel loved. We have always had the best relationship, and hardly ever fight. He is my best friend, and we just mesh together so well.

He promised that we would talk all the time, but it's been seven weeks, and we have only talked on the phone twice. The rest is just text messaging. I've been struggling with the lack of communication, and I've been really unhappy. I just don't know what to do. I'm confused as the why I feel like I'm the only one missing him. I feel like he doesn't care for me anymore, but I don't know what to say to him...

What should I do?

talaniman · Sep 25, 2014, 05:13 PM

You need to chill and find a few things to do that you enjoy while he does finish his schooling. Try to love yourself, so you can have a healthy love for him, not a NEED like some junkie who needs a fix. Yes long distance relationships are very hard, but they are harder when you cannot make that transition, or add more stress to it by being needy.

To be fair though I fully understand more phone time instead of just texting, even online somehow, so talk about it. Not demand, but talk about it, as sometimes its just not that easy and can be more expensive. So don't get desperate, or carried away by the stress you are putting on yourself. It may get better later as far as more communications other than texting, so be patient as you work on it in a calm mature way.

How much longer does he have to go with this distance between you?

ma0641 · Sep 25, 2014, 05:46 PM

Why not write him a letter?

Wondergirl · Sep 25, 2014, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by kate_joy22

I need quality time to really feel loved

Where does THAT come from? Being needy is not at all attractive, in person or at a distance. Are you afraid if you don't hear from him, hear his voice regularly when he checks in with you, he'll find someone else? (Back in the early '60s, we didn't use expensive phones to call each other long distance. We had to stay in touch by SNAIL MAiL, a letter a week, if we were lucky -- and we did a good job of being faithful to each other.) How about writing letters to him?

How many times a day do you text him? does he text you?

Like tal asked, how long will he be away?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 25, 2014, 09:14 PM

You need quality time to feel loved? What if he were in the military and could not give you quality time? Seems to me the problem is your neediness. Get a life while he is in school. Call him a sometime. Ask him if he can call you rather than text so much.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 26, 2014, 06:10 AM

No, you need to be loved, to feel love. If you are too demanding, then it will chase a partner away.

So you want to talk to him,? How often and how many times have you called him on the phone. Instead of text, just dial?

smoothy · Sep 26, 2014, 06:23 AM

As the others have said... yiou are doing everything to drive him away. He's in school, school is his number one focus in life right now, as it should be. He doesn't NEED this extra crap right now.

If you can't deal with him being away... then breakup with him and get someone new that's local.

Sorry if thats a bit too blunt. But thats reality. THat education is expensive...VERY expensive....adn his future depends on it....one you might or might not even be part of.