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Sasa76 · Sep 22, 2014, 08:28 PM

I have sole legal and physical of my kids. I was wondering under Michigan law how much info about what's going on in the kids lives am I obligated to tell him? He lives in South Carolina and hasn't seen kids in over 2 years because he can't pass a court ordered drug test to do so. Occasional phone contact, but kids usually get on the phone and say they don't want to talk right now. Divorce papers say 3 phone calls a week. And what can I do if he is calling schools or Dr. Offices trying to get info about kids?

cdad · Sep 23, 2014, 04:03 AM

If you custody is court ordered and you do have sole custody in all areas then they do not have to give him any information. He has no legal rights to make decisions in the life of the child.

ScottGem · Sep 23, 2014, 04:37 AM

I'm curious as to why you want to shut him out so completely. Clearly he still wants to be a part of his children's lives and remember they are his children as well. Clearly he screwed up and got involved in drugs, I'm guessing he put you and the children through a lot before you threw him out. But I don't understand why you can't keep him abreast of how the children are doing.

But I agree with cdad, since you have sole legal custody, he doesn't have a legal right to know unless he gets the court to order it. The thing his I think he can. The court ordered 3 calls a week. So the court is amenable to his staying in touch. Therefore, I think if he does go to court he will win this, especially if you have been shown to be vindictive about shutting him out, which is how it appears from this post.

Sasa76 · Sep 23, 2014, 07:31 AM

Thank You Cdad. ScottGem, obviously I can't give you every single detail, but not trying to shut out or be vindictive. In just over 8 years he has seen kids 4 times by his doing, I allowed this with urinalysis rather than court ordered hair follicle. Last time, he smoked pot with kids present in hotel room and then left them unattended in museum in downtown Detroit, ages 8 and 11 at time, for half hour. There is a step by step timeline that was to be completed within 2 years of the divorce, he never made it to the 6 month mark. So what right does he have to yell at child over phone about grades from last year? My boyfriend of 8 years, not a replacement, has more of a right because he has been the reliable, consistent, day to day, good or bad, there no matter what kind of mood he's in for the past 8 years, as I have been to his kids. I give the basics and will continue to do so but until he decides to be a consistent part of their lives I don't feel the need to answer 10 to 15 questions via text a day.

AK lawyer · Sep 23, 2014, 07:39 AM

Sasa, you asked and were given an accurate answer. But the fact remains he is their father and should be encouraged to take an interest.

No, you don't need (legally speaking) to answer 10-15 question per day, but be glad that he is asking them.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 23, 2014, 07:56 AM

You only have to give him legally, what is required in the custody orders.

He should have no right to get information, from school and doctors and they should just tell him no. ( I assume they do that)

What do I think, you should tell him, their grades in school ( or they should tell him)
If they are sick and important things happening in their lives.

ScottGem · Sep 23, 2014, 07:58 AM

Sasa, Thanks for filling in some of the blanks. We weren't prying, just trying to get a more complete picture so we can advise better. I would try talking to him and telling him that you will keep him posted, but he can't be constantly annoying you about it. I would be honest and tell him that he is alienating not only you but his children by his actions.

But I agree with AK that it is a good thing that he is asking and he shouldn't be shut out.