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cluelessq8 · Sep 17, 2014, 11:56 AM

Okay, so there's this guy that I've known for the last 6 years (school mates and just acquaintances, nothing too close) but this past summer we suddenly became super close and would talk every single day and like text all day long and then he'd call me from like 12 am till like 7/8 am and we'd just talk about anything and everything, watch a movie together (yes, through the phone) and we really seemed to click really well.

From the get go he gave me the idea that he was a unemotional person and he'd always tell me that. But those late night phone calls did sometimes end with random flirting (usually towards the end when both us are sleepy) and he'd always make things awkward (he loves it when I feel awkward) and ask me ….. (my name) do you love me? I'd deny it with a no and he'd keep asking until I said yes and then he'd ask me to say it in a complete sentence and I would.

Basically our convos were friendly, flirtatious, and just all over the place. And so as far as I'm concerned, I really got hints that he liked me or was at least somewhat interested in me. For example: he told me he had a soccer game later on that day, so I was like I'm going to bring a bullhorn and come cheer for you and he replies yeah you do that, and then I was like yeah not happening, the other guys will be like why is she here? Then he replies who cares about them as long as I'm happy? By that time I was already staring at my phone making sure I read that correctly.

Okay so fast forwards towards August, he is travelling for a month and we kept talking regularly for the first week he wasn't in the country and he even face timed me once but then suddenly everything changed overnight.. literally overnight. He just stopped caring and texting and asking about me as much as he used to. I get he was travelling and enjoying summer, but that doesn't mean you ignore me for 2 days or even ask about me when he clearly is going online on whatsapp and talking to his friends.

And so my question is: What's GOING ON? I'm sooooo confused. He seemed to really like me and now all of a sudden, its like he doesn't give a sh*t. I don't know if he's just trying to mask his emotions, if he's scared, if he's just super nice and I took it the wrong way? I really don't know what to think about it. Oh and fyi, we're both 20 years old and this is really getting to me because I really feel like he led me on. Or perhaps its all in my head and he hasn't really changed? Cause like nowadays I always initiate the convos between us, but when I do, he does talk normally like he always has with me but he sometimes acts cold and doesn't continue the question (he doesn't let the conversation move back and forth)

So please any comments, suggestions, ideas are appreciated.

CravenMorhead · Sep 17, 2014, 01:40 PM

The way I read it is that he was testing the grounds to see if there was something there but he didn't see anything and moved on. It could also be that he's just moved on or found someone else. That is likely as well. It is hard to say without asking him. So... why don't you ask him? Acting on feelings and innuendos and the like is all fine and good but you're always guess and assuming, like you are now, without know what directing his rudder is facing. Talk to him, honest and clear. That is how I got on a date with my wife. I had all but friend zoned her and was stupidly attracted to her as well. I just got frustrated by it all and told her that I like her and would like to go out with her. She was planning on doing the same thing to me a day or two later. Worked out well.

Regardless talk to him. You won't know until you do.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 17, 2014, 03:10 PM

Maybe he met someone but why don't you ask him what happened.

talaniman · Sep 17, 2014, 03:35 PM

He didn't lead you on. You assumed, and presumed, instead of asking him directly what was on your mind. Failure to communicate directly. You didn't have an agreement, or understanding, just phone/electronic attention. Change was inevitable, you just didn't make the adjustments when he had other things to do besides you.

So stop just going along with the routine and talk directly, and get answers instead of that flirting stuff. You sound like just friends and nothing has happened at all to change that except what you perceive with nothing to back it up. Friendships change all the time over time.

Alty · Sep 17, 2014, 05:48 PM

Sounds to me that he was bored during the summer, and you were around to keep him from being bored. Now that he's not bored anymore, he doesn't need to spend hours talking to you.

He also sounds like he was playing with you, and thought you were playing back. The whole "tell me you love me" thing, and the games you both played with it. That sounds like two friends just goofing around.