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    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Sep 9, 2014, 10:34 PM
    My ex told me she didn't feel important what can I do to show her otherwise?.
    My ex broke up with me a week ago and we have been talking and such and something came up about how she didn't feel very important even though I did everything I could do to make her feel important cause she is very important to me... what more could I do to show her important she really is to me, I want her back really baddly and I really want her to see it... but I cant send her flowers or anything like that cause I don't have the information in order to do that (she just moved to a new house with her family) what else could I do :/
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Sep 10, 2014, 04:52 AM
    SHe's an ex... so it no longer matters. Move on with your life... besides... you have no idea where she lives now anyway.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Sep 10, 2014, 04:54 AM
    You left out so many details that it makes our job much more difficult. Like...

    1) How long were you two a couple?
    2) Does she always cause drama?
    3) Have you actually met this person live and in living color or is this cyber dating?
    4) Have you considered the fact that she may just not want to date you anymore, cyber or otherwise?
    5) Etc.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Sep 10, 2014, 05:30 AM
    Details would be nice, yes.

    But, if you've already broken up, anything you could do now to make her feel important, won't last. Perhaps she hasn't even told you why she doesn't feel important?

    Nothing you can do will fix it.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Sep 10, 2014, 05:37 AM
    Is this the same girlfriend who was in a coma at the end of December?

    You cannot make someone feel something that they don't already feel inside themselves. Anything you try to do to prove how you feel to her would be like trying to carry water in a bucket full of holes. She has to patch up the bucket and start filling it herself.

    You need to understand that trying to do everything you can to prove how you feel or what you think can add to the insecurity because the more you do the more 'proof' the other person needs. It starts draining you and making you question if you are enough.

    It is time to take care of yourself and let her take care of herself. Live your life, have fun with friends, meet new people...In general, heal.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 10, 2014, 08:24 AM
    The best a guy can do when he gets dumped is mourn his loss with acceptance, that no matter what he did/or does won't change the fact it's over and is final. It sucks because it hurts, and hurts because you cared.

    Crying is allowed, and recommended, preferably with family or close friends.
    chace_don_C's Avatar
    chace_don_C Posts: 53, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Sep 10, 2014, 11:40 AM
    You guys suck.. wow :/ you really don't need that much detail... doesnt matter how long we were dating... all I'm asking for is what I could do... that was it all you had to do was give me ideas how hard is that... eather you know or you have no clue if not then don't answer :/
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #8

    Sep 10, 2014, 11:58 AM
    Wow...you want help and then call people names because they don't tell you what you want to hear.

    Ok, how is this...You said you can't send her flowers because she moved and you don't know her address. IF she was important to you, you would have known where she was going. Guess that answers that question.
    Aside from that, how are we to know what else you could do? We know nothing about you or what you did or tried to do. Nothing about her or what she's like.

    I would ask some questions of you to try to give you a better answer but I wouldn't want to upset you.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Sep 10, 2014, 12:07 PM
    I can see you have a way with people. Did you use this charm on her? Maybe that's your answer. Details help us understand what is actually going on. Without them, we are taking shots in the dark and honestly tell her I said to keep moving her life forward. And really, the fact she didn't tell you where she is moving is a sign she doesn't want to be around you anymore. It might just be your charm...

    Quote Originally Posted by chace_don_C View Post
    You guys suck.. wow :/ you really don't need that much detail... doesnt matter how long we were dating... all I'm asking for is what I could do... that was it all you had to do was give me ideas how hard is that... eather you know or you have no clue if not then don't answer :/
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Sep 10, 2014, 12:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chace_don_C View Post
    You guys suck.. wow :/ you really don't need that much detail... doesnt matter how long we were dating... all I'm asking for is what I could do... that was it all you had to do was give me ideas how hard is that... eather you know or you have no clue if not then don't answer :/

    So wallow in your misery and self pity if you don't want to do what we have all learned the hard way. Learn this lesson the hard way if you want. No skin off our butts. We've all been there... but if you insist on wasting time doing it anyway... go for it, but why did you waste your time and ours asking for help if you don't want it.

    Incidentally... Speaking for myself... YOU are the one that doesn't have a clue. How old are you anyway? Its clear you aren't very old.

    Ever have two girlfriends die being hit by drunk drivers... ever have one girlfriend just disappear of the face of the planet leaving everything behind including her car and apartment? Well I have among the dozens I've dated...


    No it doesn't matter how long you've been dating... if you were still dating then it really hasn't been that long. Its not like you've been married to each other for 20 or 30 years or more. She's an EX. Thats all that matters. An ex should always remain an ex.

    What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

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