[sonagun]

I'm trying to cope with my easy wife. She cheated and we eventually split and she became a total slut on drugs and I took the kids, after a while she looked bad and I felt sorry for her and recovered her. I got back with her to save her life, now she is doing OK she thinks she can treat me as I'm the bad guy, as if she didn't do nothing, she acts as if nothing ever happened as if what she is totally normal. How do I deal with this? I took a plastic coat hanger and whooped her like a kid, I couldn't help it, it just built up, I cant just forgive, she was a virgin wife and now a whore. Sleeping with men for drugs. Not at the moment but when I rescued her from the streets she was. How do I treat this? How do I forgive?heal?

[talaniman]

You can start by stop beating her like a kid, and treating her as a wife that made a mistake, and is trying to do better. She ain't happy fellow, and I suspect its because of YOU. If you cannot control yourself and deal with a wife with love and support and RESPECT and not beat her then you are the problem that led her to escape from her unhappiness.

You want her to do better, then YOU must do a whole helluva lot better.

[Gettnunbuttheiz]

Wow have you tried counseling... sounds like you have issues maybe with anger or being hostile and till you can let it go and forgive you wobt be able tomove on in the relationship...

[DoulaLC]

Sounds as if there is a need for plenty of forgiveness necessary from both of you if this relationship has any hope.
You say that she acts as if nothing happened... what are you expecting her to do? If she is no longer cheating, not using drugs, and is trying to be a good wife and mother, what more can she do? If she's not doing those things, or having trouble doing them, all the more reason for counseling. Has she been getting any help for her addiction?

It can take a great deal of time to get passed a spouse cheating... often it never happens and the relationship just doesn't work out. That will be something you will eventually have to consider if things don't improve.

Counseling is strongly recommended as you are having a tremendously difficult time with this. Physical abuse is never an answer... many women would have left you right away, if not press charges as well. Your contempt shows just in the words you use to describe her.

This is is bigger than both of you; you don't have the skills needed to rebuild the trust and respect. Seek outside help if you want to try and repair the marriage. Ask at your church, ask your doctor, maybe get a recommendation from a friend or family member, maybe your work has a program available, do a search online for couples counseling in your area. Pick one and get started on moving forward... it can be healing for you, even if the marriage doesn't last.

[Jake2008]

What- you're some special hero because you helped your wife get her life back on track?

That's what married couples do- they do what ever they need to do- in sickness and in health, remember?

And who are you, a man who beats his wife with a weapon, to call her out as being ungrateful to you? Your resentment is boiling over, and you are not in control of your anger, and you do not see the bigger picture here.

You ARE a part of the bigger picture, and until you get your act together (maybe she can help you?) try to think before you act like a caveman.

And she's the bad guy that has caused you to be abusive... wow.