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kp184 · Aug 11, 2014, 01:15 PM

Me and my boyfriend are both 22, met in the last year of university and been together nearly 6 months now. I have met his uni friends and he has met some of mine. We haven't met each other's families yet but mine know about him. We live 2 and half hours away from each other and skype/text regularly. We meet when we can, usually I initiate the discussions of meeting each other. When I told him I love him, he said he likes me a lot but he's not quite ready to say those three words because they mean so much. Then we talked as normal. I just had to tell him I love him because I wanted him to know how I feel. But obviously him not saying it back has left me heartbroken so should I be worried?

odinn7 · Aug 11, 2014, 01:37 PM

Sounds like he doesn't want to throw it around easily.

As for should you be worried...there is no way for us to know. All I can say is that you just take things as they are and don't get so caught up. It sounds like a LDR and those don't usually work out all that well anyway.

Homegirl 50 · Aug 11, 2014, 01:39 PM

He does not love you and sounds like you don't see each other enough to have a relationship. Sounds like you are more in to him than he is to you since you are the one initiating the meetings.
You can continue with this or meet someone you can build a relationship with. Someone who lives closer and shows more interest.

DoulaLC · Aug 11, 2014, 02:39 PM

It's only been six months, with not a lot of time together in person. You know that you love him, he just isn't in the same place at this time. It doesn't mean that he won't get there. Some people just know early on that they have strong feelings while for other people those strong feelings grow over time.

It's hard when you don't get the response that you expected or were hoping for, but that is the risk you take. If you think the relationship is going well, and the two of you enjoy each other's company, then continue. If you are at a stage where you need a more serious commitment, then you'll have to make a decision.

You could always give it a time frame in your own mind. For example, if after another 6 months, if it doesn't look as though anything has changed, then you might make a decision about continuing the relationship at that time.

talaniman · Aug 11, 2014, 04:46 PM

It's a new mostly long distance relationship, and I know you are disappointed, anyone would be, but take it as a warning to not get too carried away with this new relationship at this time, as it's much too soon to be giving your heart away totally. I doubt that you both have even defined the relationship beyond still getting to know each other, WITHOUT the fun of dating, bonding, relating, and learning in person.

I would say slow down and be cautious as you learn more, sadly only through electronic communications. How long before the distance between you changes?

Alty · Aug 11, 2014, 05:43 PM

I think it's great that he doesn't throw those words out so easily. It's very easy to say "I love you", but meaning it is a whole different ball game.

I'm been with my husband for 24 years. I didn't say "I love you" until well after our first year together. I was still getting to know him. He was still getting to know me. It wasn't until we had been together for a long time that we realized we were in love, and told each other so. I don't toss those words out until I know for sure I mean them.

My husband and I were together every single day. You rarely see this guy, and it's only been 6 months.

I wouldn't throw the relationship away just because he's not ready to say those three little words that have so much meaning. I think it's great that he's not going to lie to you, that he wants to see how it goes first.

anushkapatel · Aug 22, 2014, 10:41 PM

Firstly, why do you initiate to meet all the time? Sometimes even he should do it! This will be tough for you but, at this moment what you can do is stop asking him to meet, wait till he initiates, just send him casual text messages only once in a day. Let him miss you. Don't ping him all the time. Wait till he makes a good plan for both of you. Be patient and keep yourself busy in some good things so that you don't run behind him.
And if he doesn't contact don't be heartbroken, there will be somebody for you who will be closer to you and will understand your feelings. You can wait for the right man if he is not the one.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 23, 2014, 01:31 AM

First many men and women, use the "I love you" words failrly cheaply, and it is good, that he is honest.

It means he is not to the point yet, since this is a long distance relationship, with a lot of skype and not real life dating, it is correct that he may not love you yet, since loves take time to grow and needs in person meetings and real dates, to establish relationships.