[FLTraumaRN911]

My girlfriend and Ihave been dating for almost two years. We got engaged this past November. My problem that is tormenting me, is that she has a guy friend that was a Fire Fighter that was nothing but a Buddy. He would call her late at night to have her come over and have sex and then she would leave and he would go to sleep. Yeah right he was calling the next girl to come over. He would not have anything to do with her away from work or anything else. He knows we are engaged and yet he still calls and texts her. I know what games he is playing because I was a fire fighter for over 10 years. I told her I don't feel comfortable with this and yet she still talks to him. I even told her that I trust her but doesn't trust HIM. I am at the point to have her tailed and see if they meet and then act on the proof if they do meet. WHAT SHOULD I DO..

[ryan erasmus]

Don't let her see this get to you, she will see your insecurities, instead ignore it start texting an old girlfriend, trust is everything you have to trust her. If you get mad at her she will see you as too controlling even ask her how is he , act as you don't care its bloody hard to do but it will send her spinning she won't know what to do

[vlee]

Her behavior and the above response sound like game playing to me. Flat out tell her how you feel. Ask her to choose between you and this other guy. If you catch her texting, leave her. If you feel the need to hire a PI to follow her, it's already over. You should just pack up your things and go. If you can't trust her, whether she is up to something or you are paranoid, it is finished.

[talaniman]

Let her know how you feel and get your ring back and drop her like a hot potato. This is unacceptable and disrespectful.

[ggmagoo]

I think you might want to put this engagement thing hold until you get this resolved. If she will not stop talking to him now, she sure enough is not going to stop when you guys get married. This questionable relationship she has with this man clearly bothers you. If this doesn’t sit well with you, you may want to rethink marrying her. People should be in a marriage or relationship where there is a clear understanding of what boundaries you don’t want crossed. If they can’t or won’t respect that, you may encounter the same issue later. Divorce isn’t cheap think before you leap.

[Fr_Chuck]

First I hope she was getting paid properly for her sexual services, "buddies" don't just have sex and this sort of relationship has all sorts of problems on its own. Next I will hope she has not done this since you have been together. How is she reacting, is she telling him to stop calling, does she erase his calls and not call him back ?

She can change her numbers so he can't keep calling?

You need to talk with her, if she is still having sex with him, get your ring back and run away from someone so uncaring to do this.

And please this is not how "firefighters " do, this is how dogs do and men who live and act like dogs do, Most firefighters are loving, caring responsible people who would be ashamed of a fellow firefighting living like this.

[nya]

I feel you should follow her just to validate your natural feelings of jealousy. But you have every right to be jealous knowing about their past relationship. I feel she should respect your wishes and not communicate with this guy. She should make the decision if some friend is more important than her fiancée. You will be her husband and he will always remain a booty call from her past.