[adette vida]

How do you know what your sexual orientation is or if I should even bother trying to figure it out right now at the age of 14?

I had a lot more written before but when I read this back to myself I found it really long winded, and had so much of my personal life it it, I cut it all out. Just the above questions to be answered, please.

[talaniman]

At 14 you have so much learning to do about the world and your own capabilities that are much more important than your sexual orientation. Your hormones drive those feelings now, and I understand how they can be distracting, and very intense, but when they settle you still have more important things to explore.

Growing as a sexual person is natural, and you will have more revealed later, but for now sexuality should take a back seat to the kind of person you want to be in the next few years. To grow properly and in healthy ways for adulthood, sexuality cannot be the priority, nor the main concern. Much more important is mastering your own thinking, and self control over your actions beyond just your feelings.

Lol, self curiosity is intense at 14, (hormone driven feelings are NEW,and can be very intense) but it takes a brain to control actions, learn boundaries, skills, and talents, and applying common sense, and be more than JUST a sexually curious young teen (like all young teens are). Really this is your first challenge in life, learning to control intense feelings your changing hormones are driving to your growing mind and body. So yes, your sexual orientation is a premature concern at 14. You are in transition, and not just about sex.

Are you religious, and conflicted about bible teachings,and the subject of sexual orientation? That was your original question.

[Homegirl 50]

At your age sexual orientation is not important. Your hormones are at work as your experience in relationships is evidence. This girl is experiencing hormonal craziness as well. Who you are as a person, not sexually, should be what you should be thinking about.

[Jake2008]

Many people who are gay, or bi, or transgender will tell you that they knew their sexual orientation at a very young age.

I think it is age appropriate at your age, to think about your sexuality, and while not dwell on it every waking hour, be aware that at some point, maturity will allow you to make a decision.

Sexuality is very apparent in the teenage years- gay, straight, etc. We have far too many that didn't consider their sexuality and the responsibilities that go along with that natural development, ending up with babies.

I don't like to think of past generations who denied their true sexual preference, living lies either. Such a waste!

But at 14, be aware, but try not to block yourself into one category or the other. And when you think you might have an answer, it could change in a heartbeat. You are only beginning to find out what your life is all about, along with all the other changes physically and mentally that go along with it.

[Oliver2011]

Jake said "Many people who are gay, or bi, or transgender will tell you that they knew their sexual orientation at a very young age."

That is a yes!

[Homegirl 50]

I agree that you could know your sexual orientation at an early age but I don't think you need to pigeon hold yourself at 14. All that business you wrote before seems like you are dabbling in a lot of stuff. I think at your age while you are curious, you need to slow it down a bit.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will address the question, as it is in the header.

Sexual orientation and the bible,

In the Bible, men are men,
Women are women, and those are the accepted forms of sexual orientation in the Bible.

In today's society, if you are in America, you will be often confused, with movies, TV and even school education material, that is vented to have a neutral bias.

I would say be aware of your feelings, but do not commit to any, until you mature more.

[talaniman]

I agree with Fr.Chuck, handling one's own sexual orientation requires much maturity, and a 14 year old or even most adults for that matter lack that maturity. Best wait until you are NOT confused, because dealing with those who are confused, or don't understand, are major heartaches, and headaches.

[Oliver2011]

Matthew Vines, a Harvard student, put together a pretty decent pro-gay analysis on the scriptures and that is available on YouTube. There are plenty who have offered their rebuttal on the web and I would imagine also on YouTube. Which one is correct? Well I have no clue and sometimes I really wish I did.

[alellerenaa]

You said bible in the title thing (sorry I'm new here).(Disclaimer: I am christian) I want to say that the bible speaks clearly of sexuality. A man is a man and a women a women. Marriage and sexual intercorse is between a man and a women. When we were created, God made it to be that way. Please don't take me as a hateful christian, because its not what I am at all, it makes me mad when so called christians who were called to love, act so hateful towards homo-sexuals. Jesus didn't come for the found and righteous and perfect people, but for the lost and sinner, which we all are. Sorry I rambled on about the subject, its just something I am very passionate about.

[Alty]

I agree that if you're basing this question and answers you get on the bible, the bible is very clear on the subject of homosexuality, and sadly, does not condone it.

Having said that, I'll base the second part of my post on what I feel. If you're gay, you were born that way, and God doesn't make mistakes. So if you're gay, bi, straight, somewhere in-between, or something else entirely, that's totally okay. Do you think God would make gay people, bi people, transgender people, if he didn't want them on this Earth?

Now, it's up to you to figure out what sexual orientation you fit into, and you don't have to pick just one. You don't have to say "I'm straight as an arrow, that's it". You may be attracted to guys and girls. You don't have to pick a "group" to fit into. Just be yourself, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and the rest will come naturally. :)

[alellerenaa]

God is not dead.

[Oliver2011]

Alty said "I agree that if you're basing this question and answers you get on the bible, the bible is very clear on the subject of homosexuality, and sadly, does not condone it."

God doesn't condone a lot of behaviors and that is what forgiveness is for. But for some reason when we talk about homosexuals and the act of homosexuality most people talk as if homosexuals are second rate people and their acts are worse than most sins. Now I've been around here long enough to know Alty doesn't think that way. But a lot of people that write about my team write that way. It just becomes a heavy burden to continue to read and defend.

[Jake2008]

On one hand, gay people marry, have children, live happy productive lives, protected by the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. You cannot be discriminated against, in any way, simply because of your sexual orientation.

It is not a big deal here in other words. The important part of this is, it doesn't matter what the religious organizations dictate, the law protects gay people, the same as it protects anyone.

Church's have no business in deciding sexuality, and who 'qualifies' under their religious laws. The Charter, is above all, and protects all.

That being said, I see it maybe differently than other people in different countries. It is a religious and political battle of wills where equality does not exist, where things are all about politics.

Is it the evolution of the human species to accept gay people as others? In some ways I think it is. Before gay people were protected under our Charter, the battles raged, just as they do still in some states, and over 10 years ago now, with equality finally happening, you don't hear a peep about it, and it feels like a transition that wasn't worth the hullabaloo. What's the big deal.

As to the bible, and religion, I have zero personal respect for a book, that is used, to control people. Ancient times were even discriminatory in religion, but before religion dictated this type of discrimination, being 'homosexual' was not a sin, or a crime. The term only came about because it was to a political advantage somewhere along the way. Gay people have ALWAYS existed.

As to how do you know what your sexual orientation is, it will become apparent. You will know if you are gay or not. It has nothing to do with religion, or the bible, or anything else- it is who you are, and that is the way God made you. I hope that as you work through this important decision, you will have no doubts, and not spend time hiding and foregoing what could be a very happy life.