[NowWhat]

I need ideas. Ideas of how to keep my husband stress free. (if that is possible)
We just found out that his stress level is dangerously high - to a point he could suffer a heart attack or stroke. (he's only in his mid 30's! )
So, what kinds of things do you guys do to decompress? I need all the ideas I can get.
Thanks A lot!:confused:

[NowWhat]

Hello? Anyone?
Any tips... something?
Please...

[emo-angel]

Relax in front of TV with him and stoke his stomach and if he wants something done like food been made or cup of tea make it him and massages help a lot with stress, my dad had a heart attack so my mum sent him away to relax on his own and she visits him everyday and they go for walks or sit and talk about problems or things u like or tel stories from past and also laughter helps A lot get him laughing about something makes him feel happier

[NowWhat]

Thank You!
My husband is an odd one - he actually doesn't like massages. I love them! I offer them to him all the time and he turns me down.
But, I will try to get him laughing.

[emo-angel]

Good good hope it works out I got another one... something like football- which most guys know about then what you can do is say I understand about (blank) can you tell me... one you learn something and people like talking about things they understand and like

[louie1]

Laughter!!

[NowWhat]

I am trying to get him to eat healthier and be more active. He just doesn't have a hobby that he can do everyday.
I am going to try and get him some crossword puzzles or something that will engage his brain.

[louie1]

I have to ask why is he stressed ? Would it be worth looking at his issues

[NowWhat]

Well, he is currently in therapy. And that is how we found out about the stress level.
I am getting him an appt. with an MD and then we can go from there.

My husband is a very hardworking man. He is the sole provider in our household, I stay home with our daughter. Some times I think the load is too much to carry. He also internalizes ALL of his feelings. If something is bothering him, he doesn't really open up - he just clams up. The therapy is new to him and I was shocked that he wanted to do it, but so proud that he is.

[louie1]

Going through therapy can be stressful in itself as opens up issues that have been locked away for years.

You need to step back, try to relax with your husband go for a walk or as suggested before get some laughter going.

[Bluerose]

Give him less of everything!

[NowWhat]

Less of everything? Like food? Nagging :)?

[Bluerose]

Yes. Everything. Allow him some space to chill out. Let him come to you for what he wants and needs when he wants and needs it.

Outside the home, he must reduce all stressful influences - only he can do it.

Encourage him to relax - and I don't mean sitting in front of the TV - I mean take time to walk barefoot in the park eating an ice-cream.

Learn to switch on when you need to and switch off when you don't need to be such a high-flyer.

Life is short and time is not your friend.

[louie1]

Well said bluerose!

[NowWhat]

Learn to switch on when you need to and switch off when you don't need to be such a high-flyer.

That maybe the hardest thing to do for him. He has had such a hard time leaving work at the door.
Before we had kids, he would get up early on Saturday mornings and go for drives. Find new paths or get lost just to find his way back. He doesn't do that anymore. I wish he would. Now, he gets up early, but gets busy right away.
I am scared for him.

[vrooje]

Have you thought about a pet?

My husband is going through a very stressful time at work, and playing with our dog really helps him relax after a long day. I've heard that petting a dog or a cat can help bring down blood pressure, though I don't have a source to cite for that.

[Bluerose]

Sounds to me like he may be an over-achiever, someone who has been brought up to push the boundaries. Sounds too like he has to stop or he is going to end up seriously ill.

He really needs to see what he is doing to himself, decide that enough is enough, and make up his mind to enjoy life more. He is the only one who can make that decision. Only he can do it.

I commend you for taking note of how stressful his life is and for posting here for ways to make it less stressful. God bless and good luck.

[Bluerose]

I have posted this already but I think you need it right now.

A Story For You -

The Big Rocks

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered over achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz," and pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes." The time management expert replied, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good," he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?" "No," the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good!" Then he took a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit more things in it!" "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. What this illustration teaches us is this: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all. What are the "big rocks" in your life? Time with your loved ones? Your faith? Your education? Your dreams? A worthy cause? Remember to put these big rocks in first or you'll never get them in at all. So, tonight or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question, "What are the big rocks in my life? Then, put those in your jar first!"

[NowWhat]

As far as a pet - we have one. He looks at our dog as something else he has to take care of. I think he is just to a breaking point. I am glad he is in counseling. He acknowledged that the way he had always handled things didn't get him anywhere and he needed to find a new way to think etc.. So it is forcing him to get it out - which I really believe is a good thing. I just wish I had the magic answer for him. "try this - do this and you will feel so much better"

[excon]

Hello Now:

Give him more sex - lot's more sex.

excon