[Love_is_evol]

I'm 24 and have been using narcotics for about the last 3 years.. it happened after I was admitted into a hospital for 4 months for anorexia, had a still birth, lost my best friend to my fiancé, but I left him because I found out he was a chomo after 7 years. I lost my job at hooters for not having my image standards up to corporate needs, and my house, on the verge of losing my car, and my mom was about to have my baby brother and there was a 75% chance if she didn't terminate the pregnancy immediately her and the baby would die! My mom had my little brother in June of 2010 and they both were perfectly fine except my brother was born with zellweggers syndrome and wouldn't live past one year.. well what do you know?. he lived to be 3 and a half and past away November of 2013.. I'm barely hanging on by a limb. I'm bipolar,paranoid skitzophrenic, and I take a anti psychotic for racing thoughts. I'm constantly depressed, scared, and now I have absolutely no confidence. I'm broke as a joke but need advice on what steps I need to take, to build self confidence and get a job and get more involved with my family, and have a normal life. I need to take advantage of health benefits and make m family at least somewhat proud of me for once. I don't know what I'm really asking I just know I also need help getting healthy again but as cheap as possible and I'm pretty picky! Any help would be grateful.

[odinn7]

The first step you really need to take is leave that bum boyfriend of yours and never talk to him again. It will be hard but in the long run, you will be so much better off. He is part of your self confidence and self respect problem. Get rid of him and then move on to your next problem. If you take the problems you have one at a time, they will be easier to overcome. If you look at them all at once and try to get over them that way, it is much more difficult. The boyfriend is a big part of this and the easiest thing to fix right away...that would be my first step if I was in your position.

[joypulv]

I would move back in with your mother and apply for SSD disability. Do you know how to do that, or have you started it?

[Jake2008]

If drugs are still a problem, changing your life around to be healthy in all regards, from relationships to jobs, has to come first.

I hope that you are using protection so you won't become pregnant until your life is under control.

Any one of the conditions you describe from anorexia to drug addiction to schizophrenia, are each very serious medically. You don't say what, if any, medical help you have had after these conditions were diagnosed, nor do you say what after care you received. It is impossible from what you have written, to determine if you followed through with any recommended medication and/or therapy.

There are many organizations that can assist you that can be recommended through your family doctor that will put you on a path to getting the help you need. I am assuming that for at least some of the medical conditions you say you have, that they were diagnosed by a doctor, particularly a psychiatrist, and medication and therapy would have been recommended.

Why aren't you on SSD and under the care of a doctor?

From what you have described so far, trying to normalize any of the conditions you have and live with them, and at the same time be healthy, isn't possible in my opinion, without medical help.

[Love_is_evol]

My step dad is a lawyer for disability reimbursement lawyer and said I won't qualify for disability because I don't stay on my meds right, not very much doctor documentation, and constantly miss dr appointments. My mom thought I could but I was told there is no use in trying because I'll get denied. Plus Im capable of working. And moving in with my mom, or any family member isn't a option anymore. I've pushed my limits with all of them. Besides they all think I'm clean and everything else. If they knew different I wouldn't get to c my family at all. I wish three things never would have changed in life for real and that's my brother passing away, my other brother basically hating me, and my mom not sticking to her word that she always said when I was little and that's "no matter what, she will never be like her mom, n she'll always be my mamma n support me emotionally n be here for me even when she is long gone" :'( I never got to be a kid really, I miss so many things that Every time I think about those things, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep because I know there is no turning back..

Anyway... the meds I'm suppose to be on are:
1.adavan:anxiety:3 pills 3 times a day I think is what it was
2.lexapro:depression 30 mg
3.resperdol:anti psychotic (for treatment of symptoms of psychosis) racing thoughts I think to start it it was 2: 5mg pills 2 or 3 times daily and it increases from there
4.multivitamins
5.iron pills
I don't think there are others but is have to check. And I'm suppose to follow a meal plan and go to counciling twice a week but I haven't in a long time. I have always had home counciling. I just put this information on here so maybe someone can tell me if I should or shouldn't apply for disability and how to do it if so

[Love_is_evol]

And as far as the birth control or protection issue I have a implant in my arm that doesn't allow me to get pregnant for 3 years..

[Love_is_evol]

And I j

[Love_is_evol]

And I was admitted in 2010 to a psychiatric ward in a hospital in kcmo. For 4 months I was inpatient for anorexia nervousa. And I quit taking my meds when I started using on my 21st birthday because the two collided. I tried getting away and moving away to another state with a friend for 3 months and did nothing but lay in bed and take a shower every 2 days and go to the store once a week. It's like if I'm not on it, I can't get out of bed. And I don't want to go to a rehab center because then my mom will know and I'll have even less than I do now, no family! They are everything to me even if I'm not to them!

[Love_is_evol]

& by the way I have take depression meds since I was younger but prescribed the other things in the hospital and the resperdol after I got out of the hospital. I took myself off it out of no where which I wasn't suppose to do, I don't think a doctor has physically written on paper I have anything but anxiety and symptoms of skitzophrenic tendencies and bi polar issues and psychotic tendencies. My last dr refuses to c me because I missed an appointment n so now I can't c any dr's through that branch which is 50% of all of them from my home town