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Righthearted · May 9, 2007, 08:53 PM

This is from my EX -
Was it okay that I called you on Saturday? I was having a bad day and I was upset and all I could think about was how much I missed you. You have always been there for me whenever I needed you. I really hope I did not make things more difficult for you. I know you are trying to get on with your life. Do you think that in time we will be able to remain friends? I guess I will talk to you later. Thank you for being there for me on Saturday. I really needed to hear your voice.

"all i could think about was how much i missed you"
Should I still continue with NC and let her contact me again when she's ready? We ran into each other yesterday and we exchanged a really nice hug, it was awkward but she intentionally went out of her way to bump into me.

sypher373 · May 9, 2007, 09:08 PM

You already have the answer you want, tough as it may be - it's the best way.

Originally Posted by Righthearted

How do I get out of the friendzone? is it risky to be friends with her in the hopes of rekindling what we had? she clearly said that all she could think about was how much she missed me - what is no contact the right way? not answer anytime she calls?

Originally Posted by Talaniman

Now go heal and do the no contact the right way, and end the confusion and questions.

Jiser · May 10, 2007, 12:58 AM

You need to work on yourself a bit first! :] Have some time apart from each other before reconciling any friendship. Chances are also that it may be HARd!! Especially when you see each other with different people.

Righthearted · May 10, 2007, 06:36 PM

She broke up with me 2 weeks ago and then called sobbing/crying - had a bad day and was really missing me. We talked a little, I made her laugh and left it at that. Next day she sends me an email and asked if it was okay that she called me - realizing that it may have been hard for me and that she really hoped that we could be friends and that she was really glad to hear my voice. THEN a few days later we bump into each other at a gas station and she comes to me and asks for me to give her a hug (which I do, it seemed like it lasted forever).

In the esteemed opinions of everyone that reads my story - What does my EX want?

missbeach123 · May 10, 2007, 06:45 PM

She doesn't want to feel guilty. She doesn't want to get back together, you would already know that if she did. She wants you to make HER feel better, and she is being very selfish if you ask me. I could be wrong, but if she said she wants to be friends, it seems pretty clear.

I think her own insecurities are causing her to call you. If you can handle her hugs and calls knowing that nothing is going to come of it, then let her do this. If its making things hard on you, which it seems it is since you wrote this post, stop contact with her. You can't be friends with someone right after you break up I don't believe in most cases this is possible, it takes a great deal of time for both parties to move on completely. Tell her if she wants to be broken up, then you aren't going to be talking to her anymore, and not because you don't want to be her friend, but because you need to move on.

Don't let people be reckless with your heart and drag you through the mud just because THEY are having a bad day. My room mate is doing this to her ex boyfriend, she broke up with him, and she has no intention on getting back with him, she just has weak moments and hearing him comfort her makes her that much more okay with her decision. Stop the madness.

Righthearted · May 10, 2007, 06:54 PM

Then why would she want to hug me and go out of her way to bump into me? And she said that she was really missing me, maybe I shouldn't contact her for another week or so and then call her to maybe get together.

sypher373 · May 10, 2007, 07:03 PM

You don't seem to be listening to what people tell you. If your going to do what you want anyway, I just want you to know thatt chances are there is no way she wants to be back together with you. We have all been there, and it is not uncommon for our exs to show these conflicting signs soon afterward.

If you decide to contact her, or to cling to these hints, I hope the best for you. Good luck

Righthearted · May 10, 2007, 07:12 PM

I am listening - and I'm not contacting her and I am trying to move on but I also think every relationship is unique. My EX has no friends, I am her best friend and it hurts to think that she doesn't have anyone now even though she pushed me away.

ladyprincess · May 10, 2007, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by Righthearted

She broke up with me 2 weeks ago and then called sobbing/crying - had a bad day and was really missing me. We talked a little, I made her laugh and left it at that. Next day she sends me an email and asked if it was okay that she called me - realizing that it may have been hard for me and that she really hoped that we could be friends and that she was really glad to hear my voice. THEN a few days later we bump into each other at a gas station and she comes to me and asks for me to give her a hug (which I do, it seemed like it lasted forever).

In the esteemed opinions of everyone that reads my story - What does my EX want?

She wants you back but tell me why did she break up wit you?

Righthearted · May 10, 2007, 07:52 PM

She needed to figure out things for herself and grow. Not really sure what she wants. Career, friends.

sypher373 · May 10, 2007, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Righthearted

I am listening - and I'm not contacting her and I am trying to move on but I also think every relationship is unique. My EX has no friends, I am her best friend and it hurts to think that she doesn't have anyone now even though she pushed me away.

I understand this exactly. My ex had no friends. For the three years we were together, she hung out with me, and pretty much that was it. Part of the reason we broke up was that she moved away and had new friends, that she had never had before. She wanted to enjoy that, and she didn't want me there at the same time.

Im just trying to save you from what I went through. We broke up 3 months ago, and I'm still deep in the confusion, and it still hurts... but I'm getting better. A few weeks after the breakup, she said things to me which are similar to what you hear. I can remember specifically one time when she called me crying and said "I feel like I can't live without you." Well, nothing came from that. She was confused, having a bad day, and knew I would be there to comfort her.

I understand all relationships are different, I just wanted to give you some insight on what happened with me, and hopefully it won't happen with you.

Good luck my friend.

Righthearted · May 10, 2007, 08:43 PM

Thank you.

mckenzie134 · May 10, 2007, 08:47 PM

My girlfriend broke up with me two months ago just like sypher she did the same thing to me called me up after three weeks and got me to go over she slerpt with me and said she never felt better and was glad I was there!! Well that was it hasn't spoke to me since. Its all bull they just want you there to feel a bit better and that's it... forget her and wait to she calls you and if she does then you may be a chance but don't rush and jumop on her!! Make her chase you back your the busy guy now.

Righthearted · May 12, 2007, 11:00 AM

If she feels like I'm moving on by doing no contact, which I've been doing - and then she feels like she should move on as well because I'm not reaching out to her - I don't want to be the "one that got away". What to do?

MissMod2006 · May 12, 2007, 11:05 AM

Start talking to her?

sypher373 · May 12, 2007, 11:05 AM

If she broke up with you, and your giving her space - if she decides that she wants to be back together, she will let you know. I'm sure that if she realized it was a mistake, or wanted to be back together, she would let you know...

Put yourself in her position: If you dumped someone, then a few months later you realized it was a mistake, would you just assume that she is moved on and let her go? No, you would make sure she knows how you feel, then you would be at the mercy of her decision. Don't worry about what isn't happening now, if it does happen you'll know

kkentucky · May 12, 2007, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by Righthearted

If she feels like I'm moving on by doing no contact, which I've been doing - and then she feels like she should move on as well because I'm not reaching out to her - I don't want to be the "one that got away". What to do?

Has she given you any indication she wants to get back together?

Righthearted · May 12, 2007, 11:12 AM

She called me upset and wanting to hear my voice a week ago (she was missing me), then she emailed me the night after asking me if it was all right that she did. THEN she went out of her way to run into me at a gas station this last week and gave me a hug.
Now I find out she's babysitting for some friends of mine in a couple of weeks.

Jiser · May 12, 2007, 12:13 PM

Light contact! However it is healthier to get over each other first before reconciliation. Best to enjoy life being single for a while. Learn from the past and use that experience. If an ex wanted you back I am sure they would let you know. Let them do the chasing, they broke up with you! If they don't come back then there will be someone else in time/...

Righthearted · May 12, 2007, 12:59 PM

Will they chase if they think I've moved on - which I obviously haven't. I feel like I don't want her to forget about me.