[talaniman]

You haven't called yet?? Well keep sitting on your hands, while she moves on with her life, without you. Doesn't this seem childish to you??

[ihatewestseneca]

I know man... if you think it will make you happy, call her up! Stop assuming, grow a pair, and take whatever comes. Think of it this way, if you don't call her, the relationship is really over. But, if you call her, she may have something positive to say... as everyone should know, communication is key*

[kp2171]

A guy doesn't need to be a "girlfriend"... meaning I think if you spend every night talking on the phone for 3 hours (which I know you are not) then it's a little whacked and way too needy.

But your case is a little different... its long distance. There are other issues.

Personally, I don't think its good to play head games... but I also think silence can tell you a lot.

You want to know what is going on. You have two choices...

Talk to her openly and ask if the distance seems like too much to handle, without being confrontational... or back way off and see if she's willing to chase you a little.

Wanting to be chased is not a head game. I still chase my wife. She still chases me. Sometimes you need the absence of the other person to realize what is missing...

I don't like to "diagnose" situations like this because there is likely more that I'm not privy to... that said... if I were in your shoes I would back off a little and see what happens.

She's had a big change. She might just be trying to get through all the noise. Lord knows I love my wife, but there are times when I just want to be alone to focus on the things I need to do. Likewise, if she needs to get away for a weekend now and then... I know its probably for a good reason, probably good for her mentally, and nothing personal.

So... where does that leave you?

Like it or not, you are on the outside looking in.

She left dodge and that puts you in a weak position. Can't tell you what to do. That's your job.

Most of the time... open communication is best. It allows the other person to come clean.. or allows them to be a "liar" if they refuse to...

If you don't want a confrontation you can always wait it out and see if she comes running... if she doesn't, she didn't need it that bad to begin with. That's not a head game... it's the truth.

[friend4u178]

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm really confused/lost. I stopped calling my girlfriend because she stopped calling me and then she finally text messaged me. I didn't contact her and then she text messaged me again on Saturday and left a message the same day and then sent me a couple of texts on yesterday to see how things were.

So give her a call , she could be sitting there thinking the same as you.

I don't know why I'm not calling her. I don't play games and this being a long distance relationship only makes things that much more difficult. Am I not calling her because I'm afraid to hear something that she may need to tell me.

Well this could be it , sometimes we really need to listen to our instincts , but hey if you don't call you'll never know.

[yeye82]

It's time to call/text her. You won't know what's exactly going on if there's no communication. Personally, I don't like to guess as it might plant unnecessary seeds in my head.

She might felt bad about not calling you for a few nights or she could just be busy, and that's probably why she just text you, just to see if everything is OK. She might not be in the mood to talk (to anyone) when you called but that's not the point. The point is, if you really love her for who she is.

[Delow84]

Don't always 'expect' her to do everything i.e. call and text. Show her you think about her etc and surprise her with a call. Don't test her and wait and wait. That looks bad on you, what if she is testing YOU. Just call her or message her like everyone has said, and see what happens.

[thegirlishurting]

Call her for pete's sake... No use wondering and worrying your life away on what's going on with her or her head.

Or, give her a surprise visit and talk to her in person.

[Righthearted]

Hello everyone it would be great to get some opinions from all of you. I've been sorting out my relationship here for a little over a year and yes it has it's up and downs-as I'm sure many of you are aware. Anyway my girlfriend and I are in a semi-long distance relationship 1.5 hour away and we normally see each other every other weekend and talk and say hi everyday, but this last weekend came and went without a call or text from her. I did call her each day over the weekend (not to play any games). So finally Monday comes around and I call her on my lunch break and then text her before dinner and I get nothing. She calls me Monday after dinner and apologizes for not getting back to me (should have at least text me) over the weekend and she doesn't sound herself, says she wasn't feeling all that great and had a trying weekend, emotionally was just kind of down. I told her that she should have called me because I'm here for her.
So now do I move on and act like it's no big deal or should I be the paranoid insecure boyfriend and start making wild accusations of her being up to no good behind my back?

Do women do these types of things just to test us men? Thanks for your ears everyone!

[starbuck8]

Well, all I can say is that if it is the norm for you to always be in touch, something sure doesn't sound right with the way she acted. I have not trusted my gut feeling many times before, and I've always regretted it. Don't overreact, but tell her that you think something is up, and you need to sit down and have a talk with her about the wkd. Tell her you are not accusing her of anything, but your gut says something is wrong with the way she acted, and ask if there is anything she needs to tell you. If she avoids talking to you, I think you probably have your answer.

[nickshehe]

I would try and talk to her about it.
If she talks about it then you'll know what it is.
If she disregards it and says , its nothing blablabla.. Let her know that you're there for her if she wants to talk about it - then let it slide.
But then pay close attention to her behaviour when it comes to you two next time you meet up.. If she is seeming distant, or if the calls are less.. Then I would probably brace myself.
Don't pressure her at this point though..
Then again maybe her problem isn't with you.. Though I imagine if she had some other sort of problem she would normally turn to you?

[ihatewestseneca]

Way to pick up on things! I wish I had a gut feeling... lol. But yeah, like starty said, if you guys are usually in contact throughout the day, via text or whatever... and now she isn't, then talk to her about it. If she says she's been busy, then you can't really tell for sure. My ex and I were usually in contact throughout the day via texting and we would talk at night, yes it was an LDR... so her phone breaks, no big deal... I send her an email saying all the nice, wonderful things I usually say, and I get nothing back for days, I send her another asking what's up, and she calls me on her friends phone crying about how she's been neglecting me... looking back on all this (if I were a bit smarter/wiser) I can fully suspect something that my former self had not. Long story short, she comes home shortly after, breaks up with me and started dating someone else very soon after.

I'm not saying this will happen to you, and I certainly would never wish it on anyone... but make sure you study her behavior. Good on you looking for others' opinions too.

[bigbird213]

Agreed with the above.

Communication is the key. Be honest and open with her, don't pressure her or get angry with her. If she has made a decision, or is leaning toward one, accept it quietly and move on.

[lmnotok]

I think if she has problem like she said, and she needs to get through it by herself then just let her do it. Besides, there's actually nothing you can do since all that you know is what she intends to tell you. You can't even see her to know if its right or wrong. That's that hardest part of LDR. So just live your life, and relax, don't need to care about this too much. She will be back talking when she needs to. Don't act paranoid.

[bigbird213]

bigbird213 agrees: STDs are fun

Wow, that was supposed to be a disagree...

Oops :( :(

[starbuck8]

Wow, that was supposed to be a disagree....

Oops :( :(

I wondered for a second there! Lol

[bigbird213]

I wondered for a second there! lol

Oh well, they got a freebie I guess

[talaniman]

I think a one time event can be overlooked for now, but not completely forgotten. I sure would not make a big deal about it, as I said, for now. No need to push hard either, but having said all that, be alert. You can always pick a better spot to revisit the issue. Hey, LDR's are hard on any couple, so jumping to conclusions, will help nothing.