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    Rockabilly1955mama's Avatar
    Rockabilly1955mama Posts: 662, Reputation: 85
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    #221

    Jun 13, 2007, 04:11 PM
    Exactly. Very true. If she does love you, she will find her way back through the path she has led to get back to you.
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #222

    Jun 13, 2007, 04:35 PM
    It has to be hard for her to not even call me right? It's hurtful that she wouldn't even return my calls or thank me for the flowers. It just doesn't seem like something she would do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #223

    Jun 13, 2007, 04:41 PM
    One thing we all try to do is figure out why we get dumped. We think of all sorts of reasons they don't love us, after all the love we gave. The thing that our hurt feelings don't let us see, and accept is, they don't love us anymore. The reasons are theirs, and completely irrelevant to you. The only thing you should do at this point, is forget them their motives, or their feelings, and deal with your own. Save yourself the misery and pain, and get to the place where you can resume your life without them. Acceptance, as opposed to denial, will allow you to see what you should be doing for yourself, and not let you waste time trying to find answers that may not be there, and wouldn't make sense anyway. Save the confusion which has you stuck, and let no contact start your healing.
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #224

    Jun 13, 2007, 05:47 PM
    I am starting no contact, it's better this way. This girl really got me - I was always there for her, made sure she was happy, always a gentleman. She could always be herself with me and I with her. I can't imagine she'll find that in a new relationship, I give up.
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #225

    Jun 13, 2007, 06:56 PM
    Right... so stick to your guns buddy... it may be hard in the beginnin, but not impossible... if u make up your mind. Just a matter of time, and u'll be sailing through all of this pretty well... trust me... and don't dig your thots of what, why, if and buts... lead u to too much confusion... give a damn to people who r no more a part of your life... they're out and out forever... what they're doing aorund the globe, should be none of your business... be happy where you are and meet new people... keep moving... good luck.
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #226

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:03 PM
    I just feel like she's making the mistake of a lifetime. I don't want to be the that got away, but I may have to be.
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #227

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:06 PM
    u're still thinking about her , what she's gained and what she has not... One thing is certain you have certainly not learnt anything here... not gained an insight into your personal growth and I am sure what we all are saying here means nothing to you and you come across as a weak willed person... if you think you're not, get her out of your system... NOW.
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #228

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:13 PM
    Believe I am, this is probably the toughest thing I've ever had to go through in my lifetime.
    SameOldSituation's Avatar
    SameOldSituation Posts: 66, Reputation: 32
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    #229

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:37 PM
    Righthearted...

    Stop listening to country music.
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #230

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:52 PM
    My Ex introduced me to country music. And I also have concert tickets to a lot of big shows this summer, hopefully I'll have someone to go with me.
    SameOldSituation's Avatar
    SameOldSituation Posts: 66, Reputation: 32
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    #231

    Jun 13, 2007, 07:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Righthearted
    My Ex introduced me to country music.
    Yeah... like I said. Stop listening to it. For now.

    But then come back, cause it's clearly the best.
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #232

    Jun 14, 2007, 05:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Righthearted
    Believe I am, this is probably the toughest thing I've ever had to go through in my lifetime.
    If this is the toughest thing you've ever had to go thru' then go and ask people who are dying of hunger all over the world, who have no money to feed their kids, who are dying of cancer and other dreadful diseases... mmm if what u're going through is the toughest... then imagine what they'e going through... think about it... what you're facing is much trivial to lot of problems people are facing in their lives... uh!
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
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    #233

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by diya
    If this is the toughest thing you've ever ...
    Come on, be fair, he said it was "probably the toughest thing I've ever had to go through in my lifetime"

    He didn't liken his situation to anyone else's, he didn't compare it to poor or starving people's situations, he's meerly stating how he feels... in pain! I don't think his pain is trivial at all! :confused:
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #234

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:15 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by iAMfromHuntersBar
    Come on, be fair, he said it was "probably the toughest thing I've ever had to go through in my lifetime"

    He didn't liken his situation to anyone elses, he didn't compare it to poor or starving people's situations, he's meerly stating how he feels ... in pain! I don't think his pain is trivial at all! :confused:
    Hey, what he needs to realize is that there r tougher things in life and he needs to be strong... if he realizes what I've said above, his problem related to the person who cares about him no more would prove trivial... and though all of us go through these situations, we get stuck, rather than realizing there are so many other problems life put forward that we need to be always be confident to facing them with strength and practicality. Once again I reiterate that if he keeps thinking his problem is one of the toughest he will never be able to emerge a stronger person... period.
    iAMfromHuntersBar's Avatar
    iAMfromHuntersBar Posts: 943, Reputation: 146
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    #235

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:20 AM
    But you could respond to 99% of the questions on this site with that answer! (Unless the question was 'Help - I can't afford to feed my starving kids')

    Surely if Righthearted thinks this is a really tough situation (and I agree with him) AND we help get him through it he'll be stronger person than if we say it's a trivial situation, get over it!
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
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    #236

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Righthearted
    I just feel like she's making the mistake of a lifetime. I don't want to be the that got away, but I may have to be.
    First off, there is more than one perfect person for everyone. Out of the millions in the world, you really think there's exactly one who fits her perfectly? Of course not. She'll meet lots of guys in her life who will be just as good for her as you are, if not better.

    And the same goes for you. Move on, knowing that you can do better. It will take time, and you won't always meet someone you like as much as you liked her, but I guarantee there are girls within your grasp that you can be with that will appreciate your stability, your devotion, and your personality that you will like just as much as she.

    Like I said, she needs to learn on her own that she doesn't know what a good guy is. You can't just tell her she's missing out on something good: she needs to experience pain and failure for herself. Let her f*k around with idiots for a while. Let her get cheated on, dumped and left for other, lesser women. Life needs to bite her in the a$$ before she gets it. It's the only way she'll learn, if she's capable of learning at all. Harsh, but true.
    diya's Avatar
    diya Posts: 303, Reputation: 62
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    #237

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:31 AM
    OK then keep sympathesing with his toughest problem in life and give him a crying shoulder in disguise of saying you're giving him strength... think about it... we need to get him out of it... soon before he posts another depressing suicidal note on this forum...
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #238

    Jun 14, 2007, 06:44 AM
    Whoa-nothing suicidal here, just looking for some advice and to hear how others cope.

    I guess the decent/right thing for her to have at done (if it had been me) would've been to call on Monday the day she received the flowers and said thanks for the flowers but I don't think you should be doing these things for me as I don't deserve them if we're not dating. The simple fact that she hasn't returned my calls since Monday or Tuesday afternoon is really mind-boggling. Thoughts??
    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
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    #239

    Jun 14, 2007, 07:48 AM
    How long were you with her and how long has the break up been?
    Righthearted's Avatar
    Righthearted Posts: 143, Reputation: 4
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    #240

    Jun 14, 2007, 08:03 AM
    Almost 2 years we dated and we broke up almost 2 months ago.

    I guess the decent/right thing for her to have at done (if it had been me) would've been to call on Monday the day she received the flowers and said thanks for the flowers but I don't think you should be doing these things for me as I don't deserve them if we're not dating. The simple fact that she hasn't returned my calls since Monday or Tuesday afternoon is really mind-boggling. Thoughts??

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