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loveformusic12 · Jun 2, 2014, 07:01 PM

I am doing a ballet right now and I dance with this boy. I really like him and I'm friends with his sister. I'm 12 and he is 15/16 and I really like him. Today I had dance and didn't see him. Although my friend Told me she had told him. Is it wrong I like him? Would he like me back? Or would he feel it's wrong? I'm begging you guys for help!>.<

smoothy · Jun 2, 2014, 07:14 PM

Give it up... TOO big of an age difference. Even one year is a huge difference at that age.

J_9 · Jun 2, 2014, 07:18 PM

He would think more of you like a little sister. He is too old to have you as a girlfriend.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 2, 2014, 07:28 PM

You have a crush and he does not even notice. He sees you as the kid you are. That is as it should be. He should not see you any other way.

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2014, 05:14 AM

Don't try to grow up too soon. The media has glorified romantic relationships so that children are trying to emulate adult behavior before they are emotional ready. Have you talked with your parents about when they feel you should be ready to date?

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 02:05 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Don't try to grow up too soon. The media has glorified romantic relationships so that children are trying to emulate adult behavior before they are emotional ready. Have you talked with your parents about when they feel you should be ready to date?

Well Okay maybe this will help. We had two friends in the ballet. I'm one of them. During the dance I half to kiss his cheek. On day he turned his head and I kissed him. Now I'm stuck because he seems to like it when I kiss him and we stand really close together and we joke around. Then when my current boyfriend hit me he stood up for me. After I kiss him he blushes and starts smiling. I don't know if he just likes me or if it's just from a girl kissing him.

Originally Posted by smoothy

Give it up... TOO big of an age difference. Even one year is a huge difference at that age.

Well he dose a lot for me. He helps me out and he has this cape thing and he wraps me up in it sometimes. He makes jokes with me. I have heard a rumor he likes me but I don't even know.

ScottGem · Jun 4, 2014, 04:52 AM

Do your parents know about your boyfriend? Do they know that he hit you?

You aren't getting it. You are too young for this. The additional info you posted only shows that you are trying to grow up too fast. You are a child! Don't push it. As for the boy, he probably looks at you as a little sister. But even if he doesn't he's too old for you.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2014, 05:25 AM

First LFM12, you never let a boyfriend hit you whether he is jealous or not and someone should be told about it, and he needs to be dumped, right now. That's not love and its dangerous, and disrespectful. It's NOT okay to be hit by a boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.

Of course you are thrilled, and attracted, to the attention of an older guy, who stood up for you. This is a crush, and as normal for kids as adults. That's what feelings are about. It's more that you dance together and see each other a lot than anything else, and those feelings dominate your thinking right now.

Enjoy the feelings, nothing wrong with that, but don't just get carried away by them, and act foolishly. You are 12, but its about time you acted like a young lady, and not a thrilled kid who just discovered how good a candy bar is. You and your friends have made this a big drama to talk about, but YOU better be cool, and not let this go to your head, but dump the guy who hit you.

He is older, so of course he defends you because the boyfriend was wrong, but don't take his big brother defending little sister as a sign of he likes you like YOU may like him. He probably doesn't so keep it real, and don't make such a big deal of his attention, or a kiss as part of a dance/play for school. It's a cheap thrill that won't last very long when something else comes along for everyone to talk about, and you will feel foolish and hurt when you find out it was short lived.

If you are as mature as you think you are, you dump the boyfriend, and enjoy being in this play and act like a young lady, not a thrilled kid who doesn't know how to carry herself with dignity, and self respect.

This is just the beginning of being thrilled. Enjoy it but handle it properly. Now just chill out. Its not wrong to like him, but be smart about it.

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

First LFM12, you never let a boyfriend hit you whether he is jealous or not and someone should be told about it, and he needs to be dumped, right now. That's not love and its dangerous, and disrespectful. It's NOT okay to be hit by a boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter.

Of course you are thrilled, and attracted, to the attention of an older guy, who stood up for you. This is a crush, and as normal for kids as adults. That's what feelings are about. It's more that you dance together and see each other a lot than anything else, and those feelings dominate your thinking right now.

Enjoy the feelings, nothing wrong with that, but don't just get carried away by them, and act foolishly. You are 12, but its about time you acted like a young lady, and not a thrilled kid who just discovered how good a candy bar is. You and your friends have made this a big drama to talk about, but YOU better be cool, and not let this go to your head, but dump the guy who hit you.

He is older, so of course he defends you because the boyfriend was wrong, but don't take his big brother defending little sister as a sign of he likes you like YOU may like him. He probably doesn't so keep it real, and don't make such a big deal of his attention, or a kiss as part of a dance/play for school. It's a cheap thrill that won't last very long when something else comes along for everyone to talk about, and you will feel foolish and hurt when you find out it was short lived.

If you are as mature as you think you are, you dump the boyfriend, and enjoy being in this play and act like a young lady, not a thrilled kid who doesn't know how to carry herself with dignity, and self respect.

This is just the beginning of being thrilled. Enjoy it but handle it properly. Now just chill out. Its not wrong to like him, but be smart about it.

I agree but now I'm just lost. Okay I'm going to use names. We were in a wedding rehearsal ( part of the ballet.) and C the boy I am/ was going out with hit me for the second time. O started picking a fight with him. I'm not going to repeat what they said unless needed but afterward he had hugged me and kissed my head. I know O probably dosen't realize this but It still feels weird liking my friends brother. But I think I only like him because of us dancing together and because my friends are all dating boys at the studio and I'm here alone eating potato chips. I feel like I like him but I don't think I do I think I'm forcing myself.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2014, 01:15 PM

Your confusion is understandable since your boyfriend hit you AGAIN, and this older guy came to your rescue. It's a confusing situation and your friends having boyfriends just adds to it. Try this, dump the boyfriend just because he hit you twice and please tell someone like an adult,and just be friends with O, and thank him for defending you, and coming to your rescue. That's gratitude for helping you out of a tough situation. The confusion will end and you will see it better, and it seems like you already are.

The boyfriend started the confusion by hitting you, and that's a betrayal by him, so dump him and end MOST of the confusion for yourself. Who needs to get hit by someone that's supposed to like you? That is confusing isn't it?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 4, 2014, 01:53 PM

You are young, too young to be having these kind of relationship problems. You should not have a boyfriend that hits you. How Old Is this kid? Your parents should be told about this. You may be feeling this way about the older boy because he came to your defense. You are too young to be dating. Enjoy dancing and friendships. Dating will come soon enough.

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Your confusion is understandable since your boyfriend hit you AGAIN, and this older guy came to your rescue. It's a confusing situation and your friends having boyfriends just adds to it. Try this, dump the boyfriend just because he hit you twice and please tell someone like an adult,and just be friends with O, and thank him for defending you, and coming to your rescue. That's gratitude for helping you out of a tough situation. The confusion will end and you will see it better, and it seems like you already are.

The boyfriend started the confusion by hitting you, and that's a betrayal by him, so dump him and end MOST of the confusion for yourself. Who needs to get hit by someone that's supposed to like you? That is confusing isn't it?

I think it's me now. Okay so today him and his mom came in. I have a hour before my class and so I was watching over his younger sister with him and we started taking. I thanked him very much for helping me out after C hit me. He then said " anything for such a pretty girl." It made me blush yet it weirded me out. O and I are really good friends. Because today I broke up with C. He started talking trash about me and osca once again stood up for me. But I don't really understand why. There is a few explanations but he did see my old ( OLD) self harm scars and he kissed everyone of them. I guess when he heard C talking trash he didn't want me harming myself again. I told his mom about C hitting me and my artistic director knows about C beating on me. But something else is bugging me and I'm hoping YOU! Not anyone else can help me with it.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2014, 03:05 PM

The names of the boys have been edited and you are anonymous, so if you want to share feel free to, but it's a public forum. You will get more suggestions and advice that way, to help with what's bugging you.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 4, 2014, 03:46 PM

I'm not understanding why you told the older boy's mom and not your own about this kid beating you and why the director knew about this and your parents or even his parents were not informed.
As for this boy kissing your scars, that is inappropriate. He should not be toughing or kissing you anywhere apart from the dance. This needs to stop!

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'm not understanding why you told the older boy's mom and not your own about this kid beating you and why the director knew about this and your parents or even his parents were not informed.
As for this boy kissing your scars, that is inappropriate. He should not be toughing or kissing you anywhere apart from the dance. This needs to stop!

I then had her tell my mom. That's why I told Osakas mom. And I wasn't that concerned Abouthim kissing my forearms. It wasn't a tongue type of kiss it was just kind of sweet how he noticed and cared that's why I let him.

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

The names of the boys have been edited and you are anonymous, so if you want to share feel free to, but it's a public forum. You will get more suggestions and advice that way, to help with what's bugging you.

I have a question I'm hoping you can help me with. So this morning It was around six am. I kept waking up and falling asleep over and over. I would sleep for a good 10 minuets then wake up for a good 2 minuets then fall right back asleep for another ten minuets. And in every single dream I had he was in it. Weather he was dancing with me or flirting with me he seemed to be there. Would that be like my mind telling me I'm developing feelings for him and not just kind of well faking them? Or is that a sign or something? Cause it's bugging me. I messed up on our dance so many times I lost it all cause I was thinking about all the dreams and when he touches me ( DURING THE DANCE) I think even more about them...

talaniman · Jun 4, 2014, 05:35 PM

Intense feelings (no matter what they are) make for intense dreams sometimes, but they are dreams and not reality. They are rather distracting though.

I can understand how you are feeling now with all that's gone on, but I know as time passes, and things get back to normal, (after this wedding), feeling will calm down some, and so will the dreams. Right now it's very hard to focus on reality. I get that, and a levelheaded really good friend could help sort it out a bit until YOU get control of your feelings.

Often we get stuck on things because we have too much other stuff we want to forget about, so was that why you cut before?

loveformusic12 · Jun 4, 2014, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Intense feelings (no matter what they are) make for intense dreams sometimes, but they are dreams and not reality. They are rather distracting though.

I can understand how you are feeling now with all that's gone on, but I know as time passes, and things get back to normal, (after this wedding), feeling will calm down some, and so will the dreams. Right now it's very hard to focus on reality. I get that, and a levelheaded really good friend could help sort it out a bit until YOU get control of your feelings.

Often we get stuck on things because we have too much other stuff we want to forget about, so was that why you cut before?

Okay thank god. I was very worried I really did like him. I mean I kind of do but not enough to ask him out. Osaka and I are becoming close but not in a relationship way. So hopefully this will all stop. Thank You so much. I have my friend zoie at school and she is concerned that I like him... but I like him yet I don't.

talaniman · Jun 4, 2014, 05:45 PM

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

loveformusic12 · Jun 5, 2014, 03:05 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

Answering the cutting part. No, the abuse Caleb was pushing me on made me feel like I wasn't enough for him. I skipped meals and cut. I still wasn't good enough. But Osaka thinks it's a shame to see such a pretty girl suffer so he told Caleb that I was done with him. And I was thankful. He was like the person I was told to bring with me. He hugs me and pokes me and yesterday he gave me a bracelet like his. I thought it was cool and pretty sweet ( in a friend way) Oska and I are probably going to stay friends.