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talaniman · Jun 5, 2014, 04:36 AM

O sounds like a great guy, and you have to be grateful to be so fortunate to have such a friend and I hope your healing continues so you can make a lot better decisions about how you handle yourself and others in the future. I will be honest that it boggles my mind that you didn't reach out to your parents in all this time as a 12 year old should, as that's something a parent NEEDS to know.

I hope you consider that seriously going forward.

odinn7 · Jun 5, 2014, 10:49 AM

I am confused...

1) Why is his name sometimes Oska and other times Osaka? Originally, before it was edited out, you were calling his Oska...now it is Osaka with Oska thrown in once.

2) Why did your question start out that you think you like him but has then progressed to him doing all these things now...like kissing you and telling you how pretty? Why was this not pointed out earlier?

3) Why would you tell his mother and not your own?

4) Why did you first say that you broke up with the other kid and then you are saying that Oska/Osaka broke up with him for you?

5) Why do I get the feeling like you might be making this up as you go or at least embellishing it?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 5, 2014, 12:25 PM

I wondered the same thing Odinn7 I also wonder why the instructor saw this abuse and did not tell your parents.

odinn7 · Jun 5, 2014, 12:27 PM

I was wondering if it was just me...and there are other inconsistencies that I didn't really bother to point out.

loveformusic12 · Jun 5, 2014, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He is your friends brother and he helped you out of a jam. You like him as a person, and are grateful he was there to help when you needed someone. Perfectly normal, and in time you will realize that for yourself. 12 is a confusing time for everyone, not just you. Talk to your mom, that's the best source of support for 12 year old girls.

Okay thanks. My one last wonder. I'm talking to him like right now and he seems like he keeps hinting he is trying to ask me out. It's scaring me yet not at all scaring me. I wore this really pretty dress today and he was flirting with me. And when I was getting ready he was talking to me closely

smoothy · Jun 5, 2014, 03:14 PM

ANY 16 year old boy flirting with ANY 12 year old IS a very good reason to worry. He's a junior perv, the guy who is very likely to grow up to be a pedophile. And probably someone when he is 25 or 35 still finding 12 year old girls exciting.

You share nothing in common... and at 12 you look far more like an 8 year old than you do a 16 year old... And MOST 16 year old guys wouldn't even THINK to chase a 14 or 15 year old... essentially none would chase a 12 year old.

Sorry but my experience is nothing good can possibly come from this.

Alty · Jun 5, 2014, 03:22 PM

Are your parents okay with you dating this boy? Have you asked them if it's okay? You're 12, at that age you need your parents permission to date. If they say no, then problem solved, you can't date him even if you want to.

I love it when school's out for summer. It's going to be an interesting 2 months on the site. :(

talaniman · Jun 5, 2014, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by loveformusic12

Okay thanks. My one last wonder. I'm talking to him like right now and he seems like he keeps hinting he is trying to ask me out. It's scaring me yet not at all scaring me. I wore this really pretty dress today and he was flirting with me. And when I was getting ready he was talking to me closely

A 12 year old such as yourself is so thrilled by the attention this older rescuer gave you/is giving you, that you fail to set boundaries of good behavior? I guess if he asks you out you will just have to say NO, JUST friends as in the real world, and not the confused fantasy of a young minds have been through a lot, friends can try to get too close and become unintentional enemies as you have just learned from your recent experience.

Keep your dignity and self respect and stay within the boundaries of good behavior. Haven't you done enough dumb stuff behind your mom's back already? You have to know she would no more approve of this fellow asking you out, than finding out a boy was hitting you and causing you to cut because it made you feel bad. Talk about awkward? Messing around with your friends older brother?

You better think about it since this 15/16 year old messing with a 12 year old is really bad news don't you think? Still haven't talk to mom huh? That's a huge mistake from the start! Thought you figured that out already at least/.

odinn7 · Jun 5, 2014, 04:17 PM

Interesting....

Homegirl 50 · Jun 5, 2014, 04:52 PM

I find it a bit suspect how this story is evolving. If all of this is true, this 15/16 year old has seen your weakness and is taking advantage of it. Any 16 year old showing this kind of interest in a 12 year old is taking advantage and is a creep. You need to tell your mom about all of this. How is all of this going on and the director not be aware of any of it? You are a child playing adult games and you need to talk to your parents and put a stop to this.

loveformusic12 · Jun 5, 2014, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Are your parents okay with you dating this boy? Have you asked them if it's okay? You're 12, at that age you need your parents permission to date. If they say no, then problem solved, you can't date him even if you want to.

I love it when school's out for summer. It's going to be an interesting 2 months on the site. :(

Okay let me be honest here. My mom and his mom are good friends. Mia and I are really good friends. I babysit there younger siblings.. with him. There are two so obviously someone needs help and I help out. His mom thinks it's kind of cute that I like him and my mom thinks it's the same. Cute. I told my mom about this situation. She said and I quote " I would prefer you to not date either of them but hearing that Caleb was abusing you and causing you cutting and if you really want to date someone. then yes I will approve of you going out with oska." I was excited yet disgusted. I know this sounds crazy. But after my mom and his mom approved he asked if on Saturday ( a long dance day) if I wanted to sit in his moms car and eat lunch with him and his sisters. I said yes. Only saying yes because it would be a chance to hang out with Mia. I didn't take in the thought that " wow. Osca just freaking asked me out. Wow delayed reaction much." And Mia thinks it's gross I like him but yet she thinks it's kind of cool.

Originally Posted by odinn7

I was wondering if it was just me...and there are other inconsistencies that I didn't really bother to point out.

Okay with oska. So basically what happened was Okay first time I spelled it wrong. My friend Tori corrected it for me. Then I was tired and auto correct corrected it for me. Now it's all set and I know it's right.

smoothy · Jun 5, 2014, 05:07 PM

Wait until he dumps you for a new 12 year old in the near future because 16 year olds are already too old for him as are apparently 14 year olds too.

And in fact he's just two short years from becoming a pedophile legally and officially in most of the civilized world. Something he would go to jail for and be real popular amoung the other inmates. That would make most parents proud.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 5, 2014, 05:12 PM

First there is no reason at all that a 16 year old can not watch and baby sit two children. So there is no need for the boy to have help unless he is lazy and not willing to help.

It is cute, because they see you as a little kid. And see this as a crush, and are clueless that many 12 year olds are having sex when they start dating older boys.

smoothy · Jun 5, 2014, 05:18 PM

I see yet another girl who will be pregnant before she is 14. Any 12 year old off to a start like this... won't be a virgin much longer... if she still is at all now. And this "wonderful" guy won't be anywhere to be found after it happens.

Thats all a 16 year old boy is after, Someone easy to talk into anything because she's easily impressed and very impressionable even more than the average 16 year old girl is.....and a shining example of why statutory rape laws exist and are needed.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 5, 2014, 05:19 PM

Originally Posted by loveformusic12

Okay let me be honest here. My mom and his mom are good friends. Mia and I are really good friends. I babysit there younger siblings.. with him. There are two so obviously someone needs help and I help out. His mom thinks it's kind of cute that I like him and my mom thinks it's the same. Cute. I told my mom about this situation. She said and I quote " I would prefer you to not date either of them but hearing that Caleb was abusing you and causing you cutting and if you really want to date someone. then yes I will approve of you going out with oska." I was excited yet disgusted. I know this sounds crazy. But after my mom and his mom approved he asked if on Saturday ( a long dance day) if I wanted to sit in his moms car and eat lunch with him and his sisters. I said yes. Only saying yes because it would be a chance to hang out with Mia. I didn't take in the thought that " wow. Osca just freaking asked me out. Wow delayed reaction much." And Mia thinks it's gross I like him but yet she thinks it's kind of cool.

Okay with oska. So basically what happened was Okay first time I spelled it wrong. My friend Tori corrected it for me. Then I was tired and auto correct corrected it for me. Now it's all set and I know it's right.

Seriously? Did your mom have anything to say about the guy abusing you? Did she have a talk with his parents? How long has your mother been allowing you to date? You are obviously not mature or old enough for dating.
There is absolutely no reason a 16 year old boy should have interest in a 12 year old girl, except something that is not healthy.
I don't understand the parent's thinking in this at all. This is sounding pretty unbelievable to me.

Studs ad · Jun 5, 2014, 08:27 PM

I never let my kids date until they were 16. Kind of old school, but waiting didn't scar them for life, and they still didn't marry the people they were dating at that age when all was said and done. Your heart will probably be shattered a number of times between now and the time you pick the "one". Someone once asked me how many children I had. I replied," One that is living and 4 that are teenagers". Just like me or anyone else, at that age our brains and hormones can get us into a lot of trouble we really weren't expecting or hoping for. Enjoy being 12! Enjoy being 13 and 14 and 15 and graduating from high school still available to make the choices you really want. You will never get to do it again, so why waste it on self destructive relationships at your age. Man, 12 years old, wouldn't do it again for anything, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Remember the choices we make often dictate our choices in the future. Make good choices young lady. Good Luck!

nicholasrock146 · Jun 5, 2014, 09:30 PM

I think if he likes her to they should date because it doesn't matter about age its about true love plus I have a uncle who is 23 and dating a 25 year old women so what's the matter with dating someone older than you.

odinn7 · Jun 5, 2014, 09:36 PM

Great advice...how old are you? There is a difference between an 12 year old dating a 16 year old and a 23 year old dating a 25 year old....the difference is one group is adults. this kid at age 16 is 4 years older than the girl...4 years at that age is a huge difference...aside from the fact that he is close to legal age and she is not.

So where do you suggest that they should go on a date? Maybe to Chuck E Cheese? How about he could take her to Build A Bear?

I love it when kids come on here and talk about age doesn't matter and it's all about true love...really? Age doesn't matter when you're 12? And true love? When you're 12?

ScottGem · Jun 6, 2014, 04:49 AM

Originally Posted by nicholasrock146

I think if he likes her to they should date because it doesn't matter about age its about true love plus I have a uncle who is 23 and dating a 25 year old women so what's the matter with dating someone older than you.

Spoken like a true adolescent who hasn't learned the realities of life. There is a BIG difference between two 20 year olds dating and a 12 and 15 yr old dating. The posts in this thread show clearly that a 12 yr old is not emotionally ready to deal with the issue involved in a romantic relationship. A 12 yr old has no real conception of "true love". Anyone who says that age doesn't matter is either immature or a pedophile. It is true that age differences matter less and less and one gets older. With 2 people who are both adults it hardly matters at all. But when one or both of the parties involved are minors it matters a great deal.