[LadyLuck1269]

My daughter is 15 years old, she lives with her father. She lived with me her whole life until she was 11 years old, Social services took her and her two brothers from me over my 4year old step-son who had just moved in our home from being taken by Social Services in another State because his Mother was a METH user. He had a real bad life with her, and when we sent him to Pre-K he told a teachers aid, " Mommy beat's me." Well they thought it was me, and took all my children. By the time we got everything in court dismissed, my ex-husband went in by the Devorice Case and took custoudy of our daughter. There was nothing I could do, being faced with chargers at the time. Sense then I've gotten all my children back except her. Her father and his family have a lot of money and buy her thing;s all the time. I buy what I can afford to, and work hard to give it. I used to call her all the time, but why? She will not hardly even talk to me, and she never calls me,her brother's or anyone else in my family. When she was with me, she use to spent the night with grandma all the time, but her father will not even let her do that anymore. It's like, when I got accused of doing something wrong, he ran with it, knowing that I'm not that kind of person, mother, or human being! My ex-husband has brain washed our daughter into thinking that " I was a horriable mother, and has even turned her against her brothers and my whole family." I don't know what to do? When I get to see her every other weekend, I try real hard to show her how much I love her by doing thing's with her, like shopping, cooking together, making thing's with paint and crafting, we take walk's together and we talk. But just as soon as she goes home to her father's I don't hear from her again for 2 more week's.She and I were very close before all this happened, and I miss relationship we use to have together, what can I do to make it better? And what do I need to do about her father NOT letting her be a part of my family as a whole? Thank's

[LadyLuck1269]

I posted my question yesterday, is there knowone out there with a little friendly advice? My children really miss there sister, and I truly believe that my daughter has P.A.S or something because her father talk's badily about me, and the rest of my family all the time ( to my daughter,people at the school, and in our church, Wal-Mart ect) when I've done nothing wrong, and our court paper's prove it! He will not let up off her, when she used to call me while at his house, he'd question her to death about everything we talked about. I feel like it would be easier on her... if I don't call anymore and put her though his crap! Please will someone just give me a little advice here? Thank's

[alkalineangel]

IM sorry no one has answered your question, but there may not have been anyone on with experience in this situation. Give it some time.

[talaniman]

Could you define P.A.S. for me please? It sounds as if you would do better to seek a remedy in the courts to regain custody. I would consult a lawyer to find out the best way to go about this. Your daughter is caught in the middle and has no choice.

[J_9]

I believe it is Parental Alienation Syndrome, but I am not sure.

[talaniman]

Who diagnosed your Daughter and when? I think this is more between you and your ex, as you make no mention of undue behaviour by your daughter. Get a lawyers opinion before you get carried away.

[Fr_Chuck]

And you can call your daughter and you can visit your daughter, perhaps you need to petition for additional visitation time ?

It sounds like you are having the average normal life of a non custody parent, But if they have given her a good home, at this age, where she wants to live will mean the most to the judge. So if she is happy where she is, I doubt the judge will move her.

[irky]

It might not be her father who is stopping her from talking to you. At 15 she's busy with school and homework and spending time with friends. It's easy for younger people to lose track of time and forget things they meant to do. Like myself for example am 19 years old and live on my own. I don't call my mother or my siblings, not because I don't want to or that I care any less about them, it's just that after going to work and spending time with my friends and my boyfriend, I just forget. You should ask her if she would like to make a set time to call each other, it might help her better manage her time if she knows when to expect your call. It might also be that with some teens it's not always enough to have quality time, they want quantity. I agree with FR. Chuck, you should look into more visitation.

[grammadidi]

You raised your daughter for 11 years. When you are together it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship. I suspect that she is partly going through teen stuff and partly doesn't want to rock the boat. As much as she loves you it would be difficult for her to leave dad again. I would just continue to love and communicate with her as much as possible. Don't take her lack of contacting you as a slam against you. It's normal. Just talk to her in loving ways when you are together and let her grow up. She knows you were a good mom. Don't sweat it. Your reactions to this could cause more problems. She needs stability and security right now. Allow her to have it with both you and your ex. Soon she will be out on her own and you will be her best friend again.

Hugs, Didi