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    sadface's Avatar
    sadface Posts: 154, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    May 7, 2014, 04:40 AM
    Husband watching porn
    Caught in the act.. I found porn videos saved on our home PC...

    I asked him.. he said he was surfing the net and came across them...

    What is a general feel for this issue in anyone's opinion..
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    May 7, 2014, 04:44 AM
    Pretty normal.
    sadface's Avatar
    sadface Posts: 154, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    May 7, 2014, 04:48 AM
    OK, now.. he said he would like to have me on tape so that he doesn't need to watch other porn (I don't think its often that he does)... I'm a little shy.. but would like to please him.. how do I go about getting over my shyness?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    May 7, 2014, 05:04 AM
    Get over yourself... it has nothing to do with you... Guys like to see naked bodies. Are you willing to give up watching ANY TV show or Movie that has any actor you find attractive... and give up any women's magazines or romance novels.

    Its his right... sorry but if you make an issue of this and you are going to wreck the marriage. He's not picking up women at the bar.

    I'm not so sure making home porn movies are a good idea..., first its not the same, second if you lose it, or if it gets stolen or if you forget its there and gets discovered somehow by someone else....it can be very embarassing.

    Most women don't have issues because they know its not cheating and its not about them.
    sadface's Avatar
    sadface Posts: 154, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    May 7, 2014, 05:45 AM
    Ermmmm smoothy, where am I making an issue of this?
    I am totally over myself.. never was into myself :/

    OK thanks for tip re home video... but my husband seems rather eager on the idea
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #6

    May 7, 2014, 06:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sadface View Post
    OK, now.. he said he would like to have me on tape so that he doesn't need to watch other porn (I don't think its often that he does)... I'm a little shy.. but would like to please him.. how do I go about getting over my shyness?
    "he said he would like to have me on tape so that he doesn't need to watch other porn"

    He said that to get you off his back. He's still going to watch porn. Most of us do.
    DIAMONDD88's Avatar
    DIAMONDD88 Posts: 38, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    May 7, 2014, 06:19 AM
    Yeah, he's still going to watch porn regardless if you make videos together.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #8

    May 7, 2014, 06:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sadface View Post
    OK thanks for tip re home video... but my husband seems rather eager on the idea
    But you don't seem to be.

    Perhaps discuss it as a fantasy for right now and see where your feelings go from there?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    May 7, 2014, 08:26 AM
    Let him watch porn and forget the video for now. You and your husband have many issues to iron out between you without opening a new can of worms. A video gets old and he will want another, and another and still may not stop watching porn, just hide it from you better.

    Don't be so eager to please without thought or conversation... a lot of both. I would first examine WHY his watching porn late night is such a big deal, and HOW is being his personal porn star a solution to your problem.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    May 7, 2014, 09:10 AM
    He will still watch porn, even if you video, if it is not effecting your sex life, you stop bothering him and just let him watch his porn.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #11

    May 7, 2014, 09:58 AM
    Men like looking at naked women. It doesn't even have to look like you. IE Paris Hilton VS a wife who looks like Rosanne Barr, it is just a seed for a fantasy. It is good that you are secure enough in your own self-image to realize this and not have a problem with it.

    I actually wanted to voice some concerns over making home porn. First off is the concern of it getting out. This can happen several way. He could post it, you could post it, your computer could get hacked and it could be taken. You could break up and he'll post it out of anger. Do you want this to happen? There could be the possibility that your family, coworkers, or even your kids finding this.

    Think about it deeply. It might be worth it and it might not be. It won't change his porn watching habits though.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #12

    May 7, 2014, 10:10 AM
    Very good point.

    Quote Originally Posted by CravenMorhead View Post
    Men like looking at naked women. It doesn't even have to look like you. IE Paris Hilton VS a wife who looks like Rosanne Barr, it is just a seed for a fantasy. It is good that you are secure enough in your own self-image to realize this and not have a problem with it.

    I actually wanted to voice some concerns over making home porn. First off is the concern of it getting out. This can happen several way. He could post it, you could post it, your computer could get hacked and it could be taken. You could break up and he'll post it out of anger. Do you want this to happen? There could be the possibility that your family, coworkers, or even your kids finding this.

    Think about it deeply. It might be worth it and it might not be. It won't change his porn watching habits though.

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