[jennar]

Not sure what I should I do. I have been on a chatting site and saw someone I know husband on there. Well I have chatted with him but he did not realize I know him. Anyway he goes about saying he is single and looking to hook up. Should I tell his wife or leave it alone. What do you think? Feel bad for her.

[J_9]

If you do, you will lose your friend. She will be mad at you for chatting with her husband.

[odinn7]

If it was me, I would tell...Well, actually, it would depend on how well I know this person. A good friend I would tell. A casual friend or acquaintance, I wouldn't get involved.

[J_9]

Either way, you face losing a friend since you did "chat" with the husband.

[cdad]

How do you know it was her husband in the first place ?

[busymomma2013]

I do not think that you would loose a friend.

I would look at it this way, would you want to know if the roles were revered?

I would want to know for sure.

[talaniman]

I would tell. Let her deal with the truth. If the chatting was innocent on your part, you have nothing to hide whether she gets mad or NOT. If she discovers on her own you knew and didn't tell, then she would have a reason to stay mad, and you lose a friend anyway.

Tough call, but how would you want to be treated by your own friend in a similar circumstance? I got to say it's a dangerous game he plays to openly troll chat sites looking for a hook up don't you think? What cheater does that? I hope you are sure it's him before you say or do anything.

Must be a lot more to this than just catching a cheating husband of a friend on a chat site. Is it more complicated than that?

[Cat1864]

I can see several ways to handle this. It all depends on how positive you are that this person is who you think he is.

1. You stay silent and continue chatting with him.

2. You stay silent and block all contact with him on that site.

3. You tell him you know who he is and give him the chance to come clean to his wife.

4. You tell him you know who he is and that you are informing his wife of his escapades.

5. You tell his wife.

6. You arrange to 'hook up' with him and without telling him invite his wife.

Keep in mind that things may not be as they seem and she may already know. This could be a game they play together. He may know who you are and is leading you on.

It is their marriage and one school of thought would say to stay out of it. However, you are in a way involved because you have been 'chatting' with him.

If you tell her, you may lose a friend or you may be the support she needs to take care of the situation. If you do tell her, do not try to minimize your involvement. Be open and honest with her and be prepared to back up what you tell her. If and when she confronts him, he will probably have a story that makes it look like he is the innocent party. If he is a serial cheater, he may even have her trained to ignore the women who are just out to cause trouble in their marriage.

Ultimately, it is going to be your moral and ethical views that will guide you. Can you be around one or both of them and not say something? Can you act as though you know nothing?

Good luck with choice you make.

[jennar]

Hey thank you actually its not really a friend just someone I know

[helpmefindhope]

I would tell her. Wouldn't you want to know if it was you?

[smoothy]

How are you 110% certain its him... and not just think its him? Like do you have his full name and his cell phone number that is known to be this friends husbands number?

Because if you just THINK its him... you are aware of the sort of trouble you can cause if you are wrong?