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smoothy · Apr 23, 2014, 05:55 PM

If she yells.. let her yell, don't yell back. Its hard for someone to have an argument by themself. By not yelling back... she will stop a LOT sooner. Try it... you will see I'm right. That's one way to defuse a situation where emotions are running high. Trust me...I have a temper myself....if anyone yells at me....my impulse is to yell back. But doing so most times would not be in my favor.

Wondergirl · Apr 23, 2014, 06:00 PM

Are you finished beating yourself up? Okay. Take a couple of deep breaths. You're now taking your meds as prescribed. You're going to the counselor and actually talking and unloading. You're doing stuff around the house. You're playing with your little sis. All good. And we're still here cheering you on.

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 06:01 PM

Funny that, I cause all these situations and then wonder why. Time to grow up stop being so selfish and thinking of myself your right its my choice how I go from here. I'll give her space do cleaning what ever I have to but I think I need to start listening to everyone around me and stop thinking I know what's best for me. I don't want to constantly think how stupid I am how I messed everything up I want to do the right thing from now on. I want to make her happy I want to be happy so I need to do as I'm told

Wondergirl · Apr 23, 2014, 06:19 PM

Years ago when my two sons took karate, the first lesson was learning how to take a step BACK (and not punch the other guy). Taking a step back gives both a chance to rethink things. There's no immediate fight. So like someone earlier said, count to 100 or even just to 10 to give yourself a chance to regroup and not immediately fight back.

It does get easier as you do it. :) And when you do sound off, use "I" statements -- "I'm frustrated/angry/upset because...." or "I feel so...." Saying "you this" and "you that" is blaming and fires up more anger in both of you.

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 06:20 PM

I'm not going to beat myself up anymore I'm going to think positive it's my life right I'm the only one who can make it better. So hard to remember that I let my emotions get the better of me and I need to stop that be more in control and more aware of the people around me. I want things to go up not down need to get my head straight. Thanks for all the advice wish I could just speak to my mum like this or had my friends to talk to but thank you all for being here to snap me out of it don't know what I would do if I didn't get the advice you all give me

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Years ago when my two sons took karate, the first lesson was learning how to take a step BACK (and not punch the other guy). Taking a step back gives both a chance to rethink things. There's no immediate fight. So like someone earlier said, count to 100 or even just to 10 to give yourself a chance to regroup and not immediately fight back.

It does get easier as you do it. :) And when you do sound off, use "I" statements -- "I'm frustrated/angry/upset because...." or "I feel so...." Saying "you this" and "you that" is blaming and fires up more anger in both of you.

Thanks ill remember that it just made me angry that I opened up told the councillor how I was feeling that I wasn't taking my medication tried to do the right thing and then she told mum and then she yelled at me I get it though I lied to her she trusted me and I lied I really had no right to yell at her. I should have just not said anything lesson learnt. Time to make it right

Wondergirl · Apr 23, 2014, 06:35 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

Thanks ill remember that it just made me angry that I opened up told the councillor how I was feeling that I wasn't taking my medication tried to do the right thing and then she told mum

Clear this with the counselor -- does she report everything to someone, especially to your mum? In counseling school, we were taught that we had to clear it with even a minor client that we (or the client) needed to tell a parent or guardian about something from a session. I don't know the rules in your country and for this agency. You don't need to have your trust eroded by the counselor, too. It's important that you trust her, even if you don't like her.

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 06:55 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Clear this with the counselor -- does she report everything to someone, especially to your mum? In counseling school, we were taught that we had to clear it with even a minor client that we (or the client) needed to tell a parent or guardian about something from a session. I don't know the rules in your country and for this agency. You don't need to have your trust eroded by the counselor, too. It's important that you trust her, even if you don't like her.

I knew she was going to tell mum she said she had to it was to do with my safety and I didn't want to tell her so she had to I said she could guess I was scared what she would say to me if I told her I was just mad because maybe I shouldn't have told her. But I guess mum needed to know just didn't want her to yell at me but I lied to her don't know what I expected her to do. The councillor said whatever I say to her is confidential unless it involves my safety or others, it's not like I said I wanted to kill myself. My own fault really should have just done what I was told to :(

Wondergirl · Apr 23, 2014, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

I knew she was going to tell mum she said she had to it was to do with my safety and I didn't want to tell her so she had to I said she could guess I was scared what she would say to me if I told her I was just mad because maybe I shouldn't have told her. But I guess mum needed to know just didn't want her to yell at me but I lied to her don't know what I expected her to do. The councillor said whatever I say to her is confidential unless it involves my safety or others, it's not like I said I wanted to kill myself. My own fault really should have just done what I was told to :(

That makes me feel a lot better about your counselor. And now you're going to be very cooperative and make us all proud of you, right?????? ;)

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That makes me feel a lot better about your counselor. And now you're going to be very cooperative and make us all proud of you, right?????? ;)

I'm making the decision to try its not like I wasn't trying guess I didn't think about facing the consequences of what I was doing before I totally deserved mum being angry but she didn't deserve me being angry at her. But yes I'm going to do everything I should take my medication talk to councillor be nice to mum anything I'm missing

Wondergirl · Apr 23, 2014, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

Film making the decision to try its not like I wasn't trying guess I didn't think about facing the consequences of what I was doing before I totally deserved mum being angry but she didn't deserve me being angry at her. But yes I'm going to do everything I should take my medication talk to councillor be nice to mum anything I'm missing

Sounds good to me!

Noone2014 · Apr 23, 2014, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Sounds good to me!

Thank you it always amazes me how many people are willing to read my posts and give me advice it always makes me calm down and think about things properly and realise how silly I have been can't thank you all enough for that. :) now I better clean my room up and get ready for mum to be mad at me for breaking stuff consequences for my actions maybe I will learn one day

Noone2014 · Apr 28, 2014, 12:57 PM

First day back at school wish it was still the holidays I really don't want to . I still got three hours before I have to catch the bus can't go for a run to clear my head because its pouring with rain outside. I really don't want to go back to school it's freaking me out the thought of having to deal with everything. I told mum yesterday I didn't want to go but she said I have to! I'm thinking of skipping but I have to at least go to home room or they text mum that I'm not at school. I don't know what to do I'm trying not to think about it just want to be able to get up and go.

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2014, 01:08 PM

Remember what I had said--you don't owe anyone an explanation. "Please respect me. I'll tell you when I'm able to."

Meanwhile, if you feel tapping on your shoulder, that'll be me. ;)

Noone2014 · Apr 28, 2014, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Remember what I had said--you don't owe anyone an explanation. "Please respect me. I'll tell you when I'm able to."

Meanwhile, if you feel tapping on your shoulder, that'll be me. ;)

Thanks I know I'm just over thinking things and freaking myself out :(

Wondergirl · Apr 28, 2014, 01:54 PM

And think of all of us here cheering you on. You have a wonderful support group. Don't worry too much, and smile a LOT!

Noone2014 · Apr 28, 2014, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And think of all of us here cheering you on. You have a wonderful support group. Don't worry too much, and smile a LOT!

Thanks only hour and a half to go now I would have some breakfast to waste time but if I do I think I might be sick. Seriously don't even know why I so stressed out for its just school never bothered me before.

Noone2014 · May 6, 2014, 02:30 PM

Ever have one of those moments when you wish you could turn back time! Wish I could do that. I don't know what's wrong with me it seems every choice I make is the wrong one I know in my head what I should be doing but always chose the easier option, which never really is the easy way as it always leads me to even more trouble. Wish I had someone who could just tell me what to do, don't suppose that would make a difference either though seeing as I don't really like it when people tell me what to do. Why are thing always so complicated or do I just make things complicated.

Wondergirl · May 6, 2014, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Noone2014

Ever have one of those moments when you wish you could turn back time!

All the time! But I forge ahead regardless and try not to do it again.

Why are thing always so complicated or do I just make things complicated.

Okay. Tell us. What is going on?

smoothy · May 6, 2014, 02:50 PM

Everyone your age makes wrong decisions all the time... (that's what parents are there for, to help you learn to make the right ones). But adults make the wrong decisions as well... some more than others... I don't know ANY who have not made a bad decision in the last month or two much less the last year or more.

What matters more than the fact that you made a wrong decision... is that you learn from your mistakes to not make them a second or third time.

Believe me... there are adults that never learn that lesson. Look at people who have been married 3 or more times as one example.