[smoothy]

4 or 5 weeks is nothing... I've spent longer than that deciding what underwear to buy...

Nothing is going to change unless you go... do you really want things to stay as they are? I don't think you do.

[Noone2014]

I asked a question that I already know the answer of its simple take my meds and go to counselling. I've just read everything I've wrote and I haven't given anything a try really I've just complained that I don't want to feel like this but not done anything to help myself just the opposite I suppose I'm my own problem. Thanks every time I come on here I always seem to get a reality check. I need to suck it up and do this

[smoothy]

Nobody WANTS to feel like that... just so you know... but like taking medicine that tastes bad... sometimes you need to do something unpleasant to get better. One of those life lessons you learn as you are growing up... as you are doing now.

[Noone2014]

Nobody WANTS to feel like that... just so you know... but like taking medicine that tastes bad... sometimes you need to do something unpleasant to get better. One of those life lessons you learn as you are growing up... as you are doing now.

Think that's something I need to get tattooed to my brain sometimes we need to do something unpleasant to get better! Life lessons wish I could skip that class makes me feel mental lol

[Wondergirl]

I asked a question that I already know the answer of its simple take my meds and go to counselling. I've just read everything I've wrote and I haven't given anything a try really I've just complained that I don't want to feel like this but not done anything to help myself just the opposite I suppose I'm my own problem. Thanks every time I come on here I always seem to get a reality check. I need to suck it up and do this

And this is why I like you so much!

[Noone2014]

And this is why I like you so much!

Lol because I complain so much then realise how silly I really am being. Think I just need to give myself a good kick up the butt. Thanks for listening to my constant babble helps for me to get it out of my head so I can realise how silly I'm being.

[smoothy]

I wanted to put this quote out last night but didn't get time.

What does not kill me, makes me stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Use that during the adversities in life you come across and it helps keep things in focus.

Its also the root of the more contemporary saying that going through difficulties helps build character.

People that live a charmed life as children are less equipped to deal with hardships as adults than young people who didn't. THe fact you have gives you a leg up on the others, so even as much pain as it causes you.....you can. and should use it to channel your energy into something that will be a positive for you in the long run. Courage, resolve...and inner strength.

Since I'm on a roll this moring withthe quotes....

When life hands you lemons......make lemonade.

[Noone2014]

I wanted to put this quote out last night but didn't get time.

What does not kill me, makes me stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888
German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

Use that during the adversities in life you come across and it helps keep things in focus.

Its also the root of the more contemporary saying that going through difficulties helps build character.

People that live a charmed life as children are less equipped to deal with hardships as adults than young people who didn't. THe fact you have gives you a leg up on the others, so even as much pain as it causes you.....you can. and should use it to channel your energy into something that will be a positive for you in the long run. Courage, resolve...and inner strength.

Since I'm on a roll this moring withthe quotes....

When life hands you lemons......make lemonade.

Thanks I like the quotes thinks I will print them and stick them to my bedroom wall so when ever I feel down I can read them. :)

[Noone2014]

I feel really bad had a big fight with my mum, said something's I shouldn't have don't know what's wrong with me I shouldn't have done it. She hates me now bloody hell

I feel very guilty had a bad day and she yelled at me and I just lost it. Now she won't talk to me don't know what to do

[J_9]

I feel really bad had a big fight with my mum, said something's I shouldn't have don't know what's wrong with me I shouldn't have done it. She hates me now bloody hell

I feel very guilty had a bad day and she yelled at me and I just lost it. Now she won't talk to me don't know what to do

All you can do is apologize to her. Then the best thing is to leave her alone. She doesn't hate you, she just doesn't like what you said. Most likely she was hurt by what you said. But I guarantee you that she still loves you.

Even though we are parents, we still have feelings. Our children can hurt our feelings just like your friends can hurt your feelings. You have to give her time to get over her pain.

As a parent, our feelings get hurt as easily as yours do. The only difference is that we have to try to hide it so that our children are happy. Sometimes it's not that easy.

You see, I had an issue with my daughter this past weekend. She is 20, but still lives at home. She made a choice that was not very smart. She actually ended up ruining the Easter weekend for the entire family. Her father, mother (me), her little brother, grandparents, aunts and uncles. The bottom line was that her decisions affected the entire family, not just her. What I guess I am trying to say is that even though she made some bad choices, I still love her and will love her unconditionally. Your mother is the same way. While she may be upset with you now, she loves you to the moon and back. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you to be happy. However, you have to give her some space.

Tell her you love her and that you are sorry for what you said, then leave it at that. She will get over it. She loves you.

[Cat1864]

Noon, I doubt she hates you. I doubt anything short of saying you made everything up would cause any lasting negative feelings. She just needs time to calm down.

I am not surprised this happened because you are both in very emotional states. It's fairly common in dealing with the aftermath of a trauma like you have been through. It is something to sit down talk to your therapist about at your next meeting or if you can call her, over the phone. Breakdowns and blow-ups can lead to getting all sorts of negative emotions out where they can be seen and dealt with. Now you can see how dangerous it is to bottle them up.

Think of repressing negative emotions as filling a balloon. At some point the balloon will pop. Sometimes it is on its own. Sometimes a little outside pressure causes a rupture and all that air comes rushing out at once. That's what happened between you and your mother. You are both holding so much inside and something was bound to give. It will take a while to pick up the pieces of the balloon and dispose of it, but you will especially if you give opening up to your therapist a chance.

Tell your mother you love her and are sorry you blew-up and let her calm down enough to talk.

[Noone2014]

I hope she forgives me I feel so terrible, I really didn't mean to say them things to her I just couldn't stop myself. I don't blame her for going off at me I totally deserved it. Everything is such a big mess. I will apologise to her in the morning. I hope she doesn't stay mad at me to long. I feel like the worst person right now. Why can't things just be drama free for a while

[Wondergirl]

I hope she forgives me I feel so terrible, I really didn't mean to say them things to her I just couldn't stop myself. I don't blame her for going off at me I totally deserved it. Everything is such a big mess. I will apologise to her in the morning. I hope she doesn't stay mad at me to long. I feel like the worst person right now. Why can't things just be drama free for a while

I'm a mom too and agree that she will forgive you. She knows you are in a bad place right now and are struggling. Be sure to do what you can to put your love and apology into action by doing chores without being told and to help out with other chores too. Be visible around the house and smile once in a while. :) And stop beating yourself up!

[Noone2014]

I don't know if she will except my apology I was very nasty I don't even know why I said those things. I know this sounds stupid but I really feel like I need to punish myself I hurt her I heard her crying, now I'm so angry at myself.

[Wondergirl]

I don't know if she will except my apology I was very nasty I don't even know why I said those things. I know this sounds stupid but I really feel like I need to punish myself I hurt her I heard her crying, now I'm so angry at myself.

Stop piling on the guilt. And there's no reason to punish yourself. Y9u are already doing a great job of that. It may take her a day or two or three, but she loves you and will work it out. This is why the counselor is so important -- to air out all these feelings with someone who is unbiased and whose feelings you can't hurt. Pound on a pillow and scream at it, if you have to let loose. One of my clients bought a punching bag and hung it up in the garage. She found it to be very helpful when she got overwhelmed.

[Noone2014]

Well that apology was an epic fail she wouldn't even look at me she just went to work. I guess I deserved that. She makes me so angry she said so hurtful things to me to its not fair she yelled at me first she said some hurtful things so I said some hurtful things to her I know I shouldn't have but couldn't help myself it's like I had no control of my mouth. I did everything she wanted me to I went to the counsellor I talked to her told her how I was feeling then when she comes to pick me up she yells at me what does she expect from me what does she want because I have no idea anymore. I'm so angry I just want to hurt myself I know when she gets home I'm in big trouble I've smashed my mirror destroyed my room I'm so god damm frustrated. I just want to get away from her. I want to scream and cry. I'm not going to be here when she gets home from work I don't want to be near her then more I think about it the more angry I get

[smoothy]

You have to remember two wrongs don't make a right. And what you are doing is not right. And as easy as it is to forget at your age. Other people do have lives and feelings. You have to always be aware of that.

When you find yourself at the bottom of a deep hole with a shovel in your hand... stop digging. We have another saying... Play with fire, expect to get burned.

Yell at people enough... you can certainly expect them to yell back. Particularly people who are above you in lifes pecking order... parents, boss, Teachers...

There are times in life where its appropriate to say certain things... there are lots more times where its not... and maintaining your silence is the most productive thing you can do.

You've got a lot to deal with... but you aren't alone, she does as well. So its NOT an excuse to just let it all out. Its very counter productive and instead of getting you want you want... it takes you further away from it.

Acting in this manner isn't taking to the goal of making you a stronger person... its making you weaker because you are giving in to the more immature side of your personality.

Yelling and misbehaving is the easy way out... it takes more inner strength and thought to not always react in that manner... knowing two people yelling only feed off each others anger (like throwing more logs on an already too large fire) and nothing positive ever comes out of it... its also disrespectful to do it to an elder or anyone in a position of higher authority. And whatever moral high ground you might have had on whatever issue it was... you end up giving up.

[Noone2014]

I know I shouldn't have yelled at her I do feel bad she is my mum I disrespected her let my feelings get the better of me. Why do I keep on doing this, she must be going through lots your right and I only keep thinking of myself. Sometimes I just don't think I am just thinking how mad I am at her she must be so hurt she's only ever been there for me. I know I have to give her time I hurt her my mum I love her. I've just made everything worse I really don't know what to do anymore. It's so confusing I don't know if cleaning the house doing things for her will be enough. I messed up big time.

[smoothy]

Good rule of thumb... before you let loose with a tirade in anger... bite your lip and count to 100. You won't be as impulsive. It will take an effort to do... and its worth doing because you won't find yourself on the losing end nearly as much... and life will have a lot less drama. And yes a lot of people do cause themselves problems with how they interact with others. The good news it's a bad habit and a choice, one you can make the concience decision to change for the better.

You really are the master of your own destiny... the choices you make now and in the future will determine what options you have available to you beyond that time.

[Noone2014]

Good rule of thumb... before you let loose with a tirade in anger... bite your lip and count to 100. You won't be as impulsive. It will take an effort to do... and its worth doing because you won't find yourself on the losing end nearly as much... and life will have a lot less drama. And yes a lot of people do cause themselves problems with how they interact with others. The good news it's a bad habit and a choice, one you can make the concience decision to change for the better.

You really are the master of your own destiny... the choices you make now and in the future will determine what options you have available to you beyond that time.

It's done now nothing I can do about that I can't take it back. I need to move on remember she is my mum have some respect my god I use to be able to control myself I didn't speak to anyone for ages now its like I have no control of my emotions. I need to make this right. Thanks for the advise ill remember that count to 100 hope I don't give her a reason to yell or get mad at me again, it's my own fault she found out I wasn't taking my medication the councillor told her so I caused the whole thing I need to just do the right thing from now on. Why do I never think about these things